Spirituality is the best gift God can give to children. Every child is full of spirituality when they are young, they are full of curiosity about the world, they have strong desire to learn, they have sensitive feelings, and their feelings are delicate, but as the child grows up, this spirituality changes.
Some children are still spiritual, intelligent and cute, while others are starting to become glazed-eyed, slow-reactive, submissive, and lifeless.
Why does the child's spirituality disappear?
Some time ago, I had dinner with a friend who I hadn't seen for a long time, and I was surprised to find that after not seeing him for more than two years, his child was a completely different person.
When he was young, the child was a little talker, chatting with the world, very interested in machinery, and knew a lot of mechanical knowledge, at that time we all said that this child was full of spirituality, and he would definitely have a future in the future. But now he always keeps his head down, silent, and rarely sees a smile on his face.
When talking about the child, the mother did not shy away from complaining about the child's various problems, saying that the child has been very disobedient since he went to elementary school, does not like to study, writes homework slowly, and is half angry every day when he accompanies him to study;
At this time, I found that when the mother was chattering and complaining, the child's face was red and white for a while, and his eyes were full of tears several times, and he quietly endured it.
The mother does not realize that her own complaints and blames are the real reason for the child's spiritual disappearance.
Children are born with a piece of jade, some parents can polish it until it shines, while others will only turn it into a dull ordinary stone.
1. Parents often lose their temper with their children
There is a mother in the variety show "Super Parenter" who loses her temper every time she tutors her child to study. The child grinds, she gets angry, the child doesn't, she roars. I even found a whip and beat the child while lecturing the child.
What about the child, who was frightened by his mother's anger and whip, and became even more sluggish.
Brain science has found through the brain imaging technology of MRI that the hippocampus, which stores memories, will shrink in children who are often yelled at.
The research of Martin A. Teicher, associate professor at Harvard Medical School, also showed that children who have been yelled at by their parents for a long time have a reduced connection between the Wernicke's area and the prefrontal lobe in the brain, and the volume of the hippocampus and corpus callosum is significantly reduced, and the child's language expression ability will become worse and worse, and the memory and reaction speed will decline, that is, the parent's yelling will directly affect the child's IQ.
We always dislike the child's reaction is getting slower and slower, learning is getting worse and worse, complaining that his IQ is getting lower and lower, and he is becoming more and more unproductive.
2. I like to correct my child's mistakes
Bai Yansong once said, "If growth is always a pattern, logical, white and flawless, and sunny, it is not growth." Growth should be three-dimensional, real, and constantly making mistakes. ”
However, in reality, parents are most afraid that their children will make mistakes! We don't want our children to make a little mistake and waste time. Therefore, stand beside the child, constantly point out the child's problems, feel that the child is not doing this or doing that, and even stand up to solve the problem when the child encounters it, so that the child can take a smooth road.
Parents' correction of their children's mistakes will only deepen their self-doubt about their abilities and values; in order to avoid being criticized by their parents, children are reluctant to try new things, and their desire to explore and innovative spirit gradually disappear; parents' interference makes children dependent, and they simply spread their hands together, all of which are let their parents reach out and take care of them, and their self-motivation and enthusiasm are worn out.
Parents' correction will not only not promote the child's growth, but will also make the child's precious traits disappear.
Spirituality is the most precious trait in a child, and smart parents will not only not suppress it, but will help their children to bring out spirituality in many ways and turn it into an advantage for their children.
Relaxed growth environment and love nourishment
Have a relaxed family environment and enough loving children, have a stable core, be strong and confident, and be more calm.
A loving and understanding home environment is the best way to nourish. Mutual respect, understanding and support make children feel the warmth of the family and feel a sense of security.
Families without internal friction help them form a healthy psychological state and stable emotions, better focus on self-development and learning, and form a positive self-perception. They are more willing to try new things, explore new areas, and discover their potential and talents.
Talk to your child
Daniel Siegel, M.D., Harvard University, pointed out that when children talk to their parents, the associative memory system of the temporal cortex joint area of the brain will be abnormally active. In this process, the brain's neural network develops rapidly, and the synapses that are often used multiply, and the more developed the brain synapses, the smarter the child becomes.
Through chatting, parents can better understand their needs, confusion and concerns, and provide more appropriate support and guidance;
Through chatting, parents can better input values for their children, avoid detours for their children, and have the correct three views;
Chat can also help children express their ideas effectively, learn to listen, resolve conflicts in communication, and improve communication skills.
Let your child fall in love with sports
When a child enters junior high school, there is a difference in spirituality between a child who loves sports and a child who does not. Children who exercise often have flexible and bright eyes, full of energy, and always exude a sense of wit. And those children who don't like to move are often depressed, with straight eyes and decadent temperament.
Harvard University, Yale University, University of California and Cornell University have jointly conducted a study on the "Human Brain Project", which found that insisting on exercise can significantly increase the number of nerve fibers, dendrites and synapses in the brain, promote brain development, improve memory, and make children smarter.
Exercise is not only a smart medicine for the brain, but also makes children cheerful, stronger, cooperative, and tenacious.
Enrich your child's growth
Children's growth is by no means singular, and far-sighted parents will expand their cognition and horizons, improve their abilities, and improve their mentality by enriching their children's growth.
Provide diversified learning opportunities to broaden their knowledge horizons and cultivate their interest in learning and self-directed learning ability;
Encourage children to try new things, explore potential and interests, exercise courage, and develop teamwork and problem-solving skills.
Develop your child's social skills: Develop your child's social skills and interpersonal skills.
Encourage children to participate in household chores and develop their work habits and sense of responsibility.
Spiritual children have more potential, they love life and cherish life, they are brave and tenacious, they are not afraid of wind and rain, they are lively and smart, they are more flexible in dealing with the world, they are not internal friction, they are keen to improve themselves, they cherish their families and treat others well.
Such a child is very popular and noble, and his life and career will be smooth sailing.
As parents, we all want our children's future to be happy, so from now on, take care of your children's spirituality and help them grow into shining treasures.