There is such a saying:
"The way of thinking determines the way out, the attitude determines the height, and the pattern determines the outcome. ”
A person's pattern means a broad vision and far-reaching thinking, which allows us to transcend the current predicament and see a broader possibility.
The bigger the pattern, the better the life.
People who are truly capable have a calm heart and an extraordinary pattern.
They are humble and do not show off their cleverness, but know how to look inward and constantly improve themselves.
And those who don't have much ability, most of them like to do these things, and I hope you don't take any of them.
Rhetoric and exaggeration
On Zhihu, a netizen asked:
"What are the characteristics of unreliable people?"
One of the high praises replied:
"I like to talk big and talk a lot. It often gives people a very powerful feeling, as if there is no one he doesn't know, something he can't do, but in the end it is always exaggerated. ”
In life, there is no shortage of such people.
At first glance, it makes people think that they are extraordinary, but the deeper they come into contact, the more they find that this is not the case.
Psychologically, it is believed that:
The more a person lacks something, the more he needs to show off to the outside world.
The more incompetent people are, the more conceited they are, thinking that they know everything and can do anything.
The more empty the inside, the more I like to reveal myself through external objects.
This kind of person often lacks a clear understanding of himself, thinks that he is superior to others, and obviously has no ability, but he is self-righteous.
They have a strong sense of vanity and crave the admiration and praise of others to satisfy their fragile self-esteem.
But because the ability is all in the mouth, there is no strength to match others, so they often use some indiscriminate means, the more incompetent, the more crazy jealousy of others.
There's a good saying:
"Ripe wheat will bend over. ”
People who are really capable know how to restrain their edges and be humble, and they will not deliberately show themselves or brag about themselves everywhere.
They tend to be quiet beings, good at listening and thinking, not expressing opinions at will, and not easily denying others.
Such a person, strong and peaceful in his heart, does not need to show off to gain recognition from the outside world.
They know the greatness of the world and revere all things in heaven and earth.
Never be ostentatious, never complacent, but maintain a down-to-earth attitude, not arrogant or impatient, and prove yourself with strength and action.
Shirk responsibility and lack of responsibility
Wilde said:
"Once you find one wrong excuse for yourself, you will soon find a hundred more excuses for yourself. ”
In life, it is not difficult to find that some people tend to cover up the truth when they encounter difficulties.
Once the problem is exposed, instead of choosing to bravely take responsibility, they make excuses for their failures or pass the blame on others.
People who have no ability often lack a sense of responsibility, and once things are not done well, they are eager to get rid of the blame, and they obviously blame themselves for the problem, but they attribute the reason to other places.
Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, proposed that there are two types of human thinking:
Fixed mindset, and growth mindset.
The former tend to blame failures on uncontrollable factors and shift responsibility.
The latter, on the other hand, are more inclined to self-reflect, actively adjust, and learn from their failures.
As the saying goes, villains are right, gentlemen often pass.
Those who are incompetent are always busy shirking responsibilities and avoiding problems.
They are afraid to face up to their own shortcomings and are unwilling to face mistakes and failures, so they always look for excuses to shift the blame to others or to the environment.
This mindset not only makes it difficult for them to grow, but also prevents them from learning from their past experiences.
This is not the case with those who have the ability, and they know the importance of self-improvement.
When faced with problems, they will first reflect on themselves, explore the reasons from themselves, and make continuous progress through continuous reflection and correction.
They understand that only by facing problems can they truly overcome difficulties and grow in the midst of challenges.
A person who is accustomed to passing the buck is undoubtedly the weakest person in life, and their presence will only make the problem more intractable and the situation more complicated.
The truly strong will see the problem as an opportunity to cultivate themselves, and they can actively respond to challenges and successfully resolve layers of difficulties with their wisdom.
Resting on one's laurels and refusing to learn
In the TV series "Do You Know", the role of Sun Xiucai is impressive.
He rose to prominence at a young age and became famous early with a little cleverness.
However, this also made him complacent, intoxicated with his interactions with fox friends and dogs, and gradually abandoned his studies.
Time flies, when his former classmates have been named on the gold list, he can only stand still, and finally become the laughing stock of others after dinner.
People who don't have the ability often have a low cognition, like sitting in a well and watching the sky, and can only glimpse the narrow sky above their heads.
They are impetuous, and their temper is not proportional to their abilities.
Neither willing to broaden his horizons nor delve deeper, satisfied with the little achievements of the past, willing to spend the rest of his life at the bottom of the well.
A person's vision and mind often indicate his future height.
Just like a small flower pot, it is difficult to grow a towering tree, and it is difficult for a narrow mind to give birth to much achievement.
If one wants to be extraordinary, one needs to be in a wider world and look at the world at a higher level.
Only in this way can we continue to expand our abilities and realms, achieve higher ambitions, and create a brilliant life.
Write at the end
I've heard this passage:
"One of the weaknesses of human nature is that both eyes are used to looking at the outside world, but they rarely examine themselves.
So look at the world with one eye and look at yourself with the other. ”
In life, we are often confused by the prosperity of the outside world, busy pursuing fame and status, but ignoring the inner voice.
In fact, those who don't have the ability are essentially afraid to face their true selves.
They are afraid to accept their imperfections, to admit their insignificance, vulnerability and incompetence, so they always run away from reality and use all kinds of excuses to cover up their shortcomings.
However, this kind of escape will only lead them into a deeper quagmire, because if they are unwilling to face their own problems, they will not be able to find the direction of growth and achieve real transformation.
As the saying goes:
"Without deep self-reflection, there can be no amazing self-transcendence. ”
True growth comes from a deep understanding of yourself.
When we dare to examine ourselves and face our own shortcomings and shortcomings, we can explore the path of progress and achieve true self-transcendence.
Seeking guilt in case of trouble is the starting point of a person's strength.
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