Text | Mi Li's mother
In the past few days, a long eulogy "The Death of My Wife" has been frantically forwarded in various groups, and it makes Mi Li's mother feel uncomfortable.
A 37-year-old Kochi woman in the prime of life was diagnosed with advanced lung adenocarcinoma after discovering that she was unwell, and passed away after just two months of torture.
Her husband published an article in memory of her, weeping blood throughout, remembering his deceased wife and grieving.
The article is full of sentences complaining about the poor medical environment in Canada, and then it is about reminiscing about his wife's glorious and short life.
Reading between the lines, Mi Li's mother can only read a woman's "dedication" to squeeze out the last drop of her blood for a family, but she doesn't feel the real love from a husband at all.
The article is uncomfortable to read because of its green tea, artificiality, hypocrisy, afterthought, pretending to be affectionate, and even the plastic sensationalism of the greasy man who thinks he can fool the world and can see through it at a glance.
Even a little girl in her early 20s is not popular to listen to love, and the affectionate drama with the collection code at the end of his long article is all left over from Lin Shengbin's play, so quickly collect the magic power!
Do your best, and then die
First of all, that long article is very long, you can search for it yourself, there are many on the Internet. Mi Li's mother read through it and wanted to take a screenshot of the particularly heart-wrenching passages for everyone.
The deceased wife's name was Xiaomin, and when she first entered college, she met this man who was much older than her.
At the age of 24, I married him just 1 or 2 years after graduating from college.
Xiao Min's grades are very good, IELTS to 9, TOEFL close to full score, studied abroad at Tulane University Business School in the United States, and graduated with full honors.
At that time, the U.S. work visa was particularly difficult to draw, and Xiao Min was lucky to successfully draw an H1b (visa) and found a job in the United States.
She began to conceive and give birth to children at the age of 26, and gave birth to three children in seven years, two sisters and a younger brother.
Throughout the whole childbirth process, there is non-stop reading, exams, and work. Because her husband was in the system, in order to end the separation between the two places, she gave up the hard-won H1b and job at the age of 30 and returned to Shanghai to reunite with her family.
A few years later, she became pregnant with the third child.
Or because my husband was in the system, the third child had not yet been opened at that time, and they were worried that their husband would be expelled from public office, so they decided to take a travel visa to Canada to give birth.
The most outrageous thing is that there is no medical insurance for tourist visas, and the cost of self-funded production in North America is extremely expensive.
In order to save money, the third child was born in a boarding house when the landlord returned to China to visit relatives.
After giving birth, they decided to transfer to a school visa and the family stayed in Canada.
Let's just say, why is the husband in the system not afraid of being fired from public office at this time?
And staying in Canada means that Xiaomin has to take exams, apply, study abroad, find a job, and make money to support his family like he did seven or eight years ago, and the reason why the male protagonist does not bear this part of the responsibility is that he is not as good at studying as his wife.
Xiao Min is an extremely strong person, and while finding a full-time job in a bank, he is studying for a second master's degree.
Because people eat horses and feed adults and children, so many people wait for rice to go to the pot, in order to subsidize the family, she also holds Olympiad math and English training classes in the basement of her home, and spends 6 hours of classes every weekend.
In North America, basements usually have the problem of excessive radon gas, and Canada cannot be ventilated for half a year in winter, which is also likely to be an important cause of her cancer.
The wife dragged her three children to work so hard, but what about the husband? After resigning from his job in the system, he became unemployed.
I don't look for a job, I don't learn English, and I don't have a Canadian driver's license, and the reason is still that my learning ability is not as good as my wife.
In North America, a family of five and three children are too inconvenient to have no car. Where can an unemployed person who claims to be "in the master" without a driver's license be "in charge"? He can almost only be responsible for the affairs of his children under his own roof.
And in the eulogy, the husband repeatedly emphasized that his wife is a person who is prone to anxiety. said that she was strong and had a very high self-esteem, and always put a lot of pressure on herself.
Nonsense! You don't have much pressure to let you feed a family of five alone in a foreign country? Don't you feel anxious? She also said that people think very highly of themselves, and if you know her so well, you must know that you are precisely taking advantage of the fact that your wife needs to be strong, so that you can enjoy it like this, right?
Your wife treats you as true love, and you treat your wife as a leek
As mothers know, when the first three years of the child are the most difficult to bring, we can't sleep a whole night, and we can almost always feel our physical and emotional limits.
This is just a child, and it can make people on the verge of collapse all the time, and Xiao Min has three.
And not only with three children, but also to work hard to get an identity in Canada, constantly studying, exams, working to earn money, and working part-time in the basement to support the family.
The intensity of work that a person's body can withstand is limited, not to mention, my husband is so wasteful, the air in the basement is not good, and the sudden illness is really not a particularly unexpected thing.
Overwork caused Xiao Min to have symptoms of inflammation. She didn't take it seriously at first, thinking it was a stomach problem, but she felt better after taking some stomach medicine, but the result was even more delayed.
Later, she felt more and more that something was wrong, and she took an Uber to the hospital by herself and never came back.
What makes Mi Li's mother the most sad is this paragraph:
Before she got into the car alone, she even made a relaxed face with the children, which was really poignant.
After repeated diagnoses, it was diagnosed that lung adenocarcinoma was already at an advanced stage, and the cancer cells replicated rapidly and had spread throughout the body.
And for a long time in the hospital, she was most helpless, until she died, she was alone, and her husband didn't even look at her, claiming to take care of the children at home.
Xiao Min can only contact her husband through WeChat, and she sent it several times:
"I was scared. "I'm really scared. ”
After his wife was tortured, had several punctures to discharge heart effusion, and was notified by the doctor that he was critically ill, the husband who wrote the eulogy pretended that he would never give up the treatment, and on the one hand he put all the on the doctor who took the lead in abandoning the treatment, and on the other hand, he woke up his unconscious wife and asked her to sign the document for the change of the executor of the property.
The scene at that time was extremely embarrassing, and while he pulled his wife, he said:
"Wake up, dear, for the sake of the child. ”
While finally letting his wife sign the agreement on the change of property executor, he didn't forget to praise it:
"Although the font is crooked, the writing is fluent and spelled correctly. It seems that I have seen the college bully with an IELTS score of 9 again. ”
At this time, the Canadian doctors, who directly announced that their wives were hopeless, continued to uphold their straightforward style and gave him a sentence:
"This thing doesn't actually need to be signed by the parties, and when she dies, it will naturally change to you. ”
Let's just say, even the doctor can't help but speak in this ugly appearance, and he wrote it in the eulogy as a good word, and there is no one left.
The most apt word that Mi Li's mother can imagine is: the oil runs out and the lamp is dry.
That's right, that's the word. Xiao Min used her short life to give birth to and raise three children, and used all her life energy to earn money for this family to the limit of her physical strength.
Then the last love that her husband could express was to let her sign her last name and squeeze out the last drop of her remaining value.
The most disgusting thing is that the people are gone, he also whipped the corpse, and after writing the eulogy, he put the collection code at the end of the article, and the collection code expired and he also turned on the reward function.
He may not have the word "cheeky" in his dictionary, and his life credo is: sell miserably, and then get something for nothing.
Cutting leeks is still addictive?
In these years, the power of traffic is really great, so there are a lot of cyber beggars.
And netizens who have been tempered by thousands of tempers have also refined their skills in identifying scum in the process of constantly eating melons, which is not so easy to fool.
The person who wrote the eulogy said that his pen name was the name of three children, each of whom took one word.
How do you look at this, how to compare with Lin Shengbin's "wife and children in heaven" is a painting style, it's really disgusting, isn't it? Squeeze the last drop of blood out of people before you die, and perform affectionately here after death, your affection is really valuable!
On his official account, he especially likes to talk about the international situation, debt imperialism, the Korean War, the status of the United States, and why Finland joined the treaty......
This reminds Mi Li's mother of this passage written by scholar Chen Lang in his article mourning her deceased husband:
They are full of benevolence, righteousness and morality, and there is nothing they don't understand about the international situation, but when it comes to their vital interests, don't ask, ask is: I can't study, or you come, you can do more than me, and those who can work harder.
I've seen chicken thieves, but if your abacus beads are going to collapse on my face, I really can't stand it.
In fact, Mi Li's mother really has something similar around her. Many years ago, a friend's wife also died of lung cancer, and she was also a very strong person before her death.
When everyone felt that she must be able to handle everything in life, her collapse was like a building about to fall, and the tightest, the best, and the most courageous person fell first in the way she ran into the distance when no one expected it.
What Mi Li's mother wants to say is that this result must not be a unilateral reason. If the husband, who exploits his wife for nothing, does not work for his wife, the matter will not be established.
In fact, his sentence "self-esteem is very high" also exposed the shortcomings in Xiaomin's character. She overestimated her abilities too much, thinking that she could do anything, but taking three children and working hard was not a sign of taking herself seriously, respecting herself, and loving herself.
When we put loving ourselves in a position where every decision is made, you will not make the wrong choice.
For example, giving up having so many children, such as forcing her husband to go out to make money, such as not giving up your hard-won job opportunities for the so-called "within the system".
Those moments when you give up the right to love yourself easily are equivalent to giving the power of the butcher's knife to others.
And the quality of life of one's own existence completely depends on the character and conscience of the other party, but this is the most unreliable thing.
When everything is zeroed, all struggles, emotions, goals, and responsibilities will be cleared. And Xiao Min, who has been holding her husband's hand when she was dying, and calling "try again, don't give up on me" with difficulty, the will to survive that is still strong in those pains must be because she is too relieved to let go of the children.
This year's netizens' ability to eat melons has really become stronger, and everyone can accurately identify the hypocrisy behind the fake sensationalism and the long-term accumulation of slowness in marriage.
But if Xiao Min has a spirit in the sky, I must hope that sisters who are as strong as her will not work too hard. Because of loving oneself, the water can flow for a long time, and children have something to rely on, which is the premise for all happiness to be discussed.
Personal profile: @米粒妈频道 (welcome to follow), Mi Li's mother, American returnee, Haidian parent, the author of "Parent-Child English Books That Affect Children's Lives" ranked first on the Dangdang New Book List. Focus on learning dry goods, education experience sharing, education and further education for children aged 5-12, English, mathematics, science enlightenment, and the world's novelty and good things to recommend, welcome to pay attention! (0~5 years old mother, please pay attention: @米粒妈爱分享)