Marriage, please use a man's mind to get along with a man

In marriage, you should never expect a man to grow up on his own.

In the world of emotions, women are certainly mentors to men.

Some people say that how a woman takes care of her children, she will "bring" her husband, which is the "way of the husband".

In essence, men are teenagers, children, and giant babies all their lives.

Although their experience and knowledge reserves are very different, their way of thinking will never change.

The biggest tragedy of marriage is that women take men too seriously.

It is more helpful for you to treat him as a child, or even as a dog, than to treat him as a person.

If a woman can't get along with a man with a masculine mind, it must be a tragedy.

I often meet a lot of original partners in my consultation, and they will ask me in confusion:

Mr. Lu, what does my husband think?

Why is our 8-year relationship no more than 8 seconds of pleasure?

Why are men so ruthless?

Any woman who thinks like this doesn't know what the key is to open the door to men's psychology.

You must understand that magic can only be defeated by "magic".

1. You have to be a "Puxin girl" and defeat men with a "high sense of worthiness".

No matter how ordinary a man is, he will have "honey confidence".

Even if a mistake of principle is made, it is the wife's fault.

Many wives ask me: Mr. Lu, my husband said that it was because I was too strong and didn't understand him that he went outside to look for him.

Do I need to do something different?

I said that even if you are strong, you have been strong for more than ten years, why does he suddenly feel that there is a problem now?

Another wife asked me: Why was my husband so tough on me when I caught them red-handed, and when he got home, he apologized to me and knelt down again?

I said, it's very simple, because in men's hearts, morality is fart, feelings are games, and only interests and face are the truth!

A man is a creature who can do anything to achieve the most cost-effective face and lining.

For him, the external evaluation is not important, what matters is whether he gets the highest benefit or not.

Why is it so easy for a woman outside to get your husband?

It's because she and your husband are people on the same channel, and all their communication is stuck on the "high sense of worthiness".

The subtext is: I can sacrifice, I can give in, as long as you don't abandon me, I can back down anything, because I'm a woman who can't live well without you.

The 2+1 conversation with your husband is like this: I don't want to enter into such an unhonorable relationship, I think you should be a "responsible and good man".

The subtext is: I am a noble woman, although I have done dirty things, but I still have to "set up the archway", if you don't give me a name, you will lose such a good feeling!

Many wives don't understand why when men are found out, they are quite like individuals, apologizing, handing in salary cards, and doing housework, why do they become more and more scum later?

It is because of the "low deworthiness" message that his wife has endured again and again that makes the man feel that he does not need to cherish you because you are "cheap".

Women must remember that as long as you have been married to a man for many years, it means that you are worthwhile and you are valuable to him.

Once a man changes his mind, you don't have to adjust yourself, but you have to adjust the "house rules", instead of currying favor, backing down, and messing around.

Second, feelings are not important, "value" is the core

The world of men is very utilitarian.

A woman's world is "idealized".

I often see many wives who can't handle their husbands, but also their children.

A woman said that after I got divorced, I found out that my son had also cheated on me! Every time he went to see his father, he actually hung out with the vixen, and later I saw videos and photos of them "as a family of three" happy together on his son's mobile phone.

What makes me the saddest thing is that in my son's photo album, I saw the previous photo of me and my son, and he was pulling his face.

I've given so much for my son, why is he still hiding it from me, so happy to play with that slut, I'm really chilling.

I said, you are right to be cold, because human nature is like this: "If you have milk, you are a mother".

This "milk" includes both material benefits and spiritual values.

Your son is with that bad woman, and he can eat good things, get gifts, and be happy together.

But do you see your face when you take a picture with your son?

is just crying and mourning, do you think your son is happy to be with such a mother?

So when you love someone, you have to fulfill his needs, not yours.

Think what others think, do what others do, and he can't help but want to give back to you.

That's the most valuable thing in a relationship.

In a relationship, the more you love someone, the more you will lose someone.

Because the essence of all relationships is the exchange of interests, not love or not.

When you use the logic of "love" to develop a relationship, you are actually satisfied with yourself.

And once you think about problems with "interests" and "values", you are not a tragic person, but a happy woman.

Grasp the real ability, you have money, you have the ability to improve the emotional value of others, than to pursue a man to love you, is more important.

Fourth, result-oriented, take solving problems as the main line

Why is it that when a woman quarrels with a man, it must be the woman who loses?

Because men are at the cognitive level, they are reducing the dimensionality and hitting you.

For example, when the wife finds out about the man's betrayal, what she is most concerned about is:

1. Do you love me, why do you betray me?
2. Do you love her, do you love her, why don't you divorce?
3. Do you know how much I have done for you, how hurt I am by you doing this to me?

The first two problems are an endless loop, because men's love can be like a hot pot, with both "spicy soup" and "clear soup".

And women are "a pot of stew".

When you ask this question, you not only reveal that you have no understanding of the male mind, but more importantly, the discussion of these issues does not solve any problems except quarrels.

As for the third question, the focus is on confiding, complaining, counting on men to listen and understand, to repent and apologize.

Even if a man empathizes with you perfectly, he repents to the point that he satisfies you.

Is the problem solved?

No.

This is the biggest problem of "emotionally centered" women, you only care about "engaging in emotions", only caring about "emotional catharsis", only caring about "emotional discussion", but you don't focus on how to solve problems.

If a man has a good attitude, he will coax you and draw you a pie, and you will easily believe him and forgive him.

If a man has a bad attitude, has a cold war with you, or even mentions divorce, you will easily believe him, fear the terrible consequences, and start to lie flat......

Therefore, men are not afraid of women making trouble at all, because as long as it is trouble, it is to give the dominance of emotions to men.

Therefore, in my counseling, I am training women in both abilities.

1. The ability to do nothing. When a woman's emotions are impulsive, they will move like a fly without a head. If you can be "immovable as a mountain", you will be able to get rid of the track of "emotional center".
2. The ability to move with the camera, move at the right time, and move with the machine. Learn to lay out, learn to find opportunities, grasp opportunities, choose opportunities, create opportunities, and let men enter your trap, you can influence men to let down their defenses and obey you.

These are all things that need to be "result-oriented", step by step to take advantage of men's weaknesses, and strike with precision.

I've always had a formula.

We need to be affectionate, and we need to be utilitarian.

Without affection, there is no happiness,

Without utilitarianism, there is no possibility.

Happiness can only be a castle in the air.

We understand that the male mind is not about turning oneself into a man, but about doing it

A woman's emotions + a man's mind = androgynous = true happiness.

You tell me?