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Marriage is a major event in life, it carries endless expectations and longings, but also hidden unknown challenges and risks.
In this complex world, choosing a suitable partner is undoubtedly the key to the road to happiness.
In the traditional Chinese concept of marriage and love, there is such a saying: "Marrying a man looks at the shoulder, marrying a wife depends on the hand." ”
What does this seemingly simple sentence mean?
I remember when I graduated from college and got married, my mother always told me about finding a partner when she was young.
At that time, love was not as free as it is now, and it was usually the man or woman whose family our parents liked, and we had to obey our parents' orders and marry them.
At that time, no one knew anyone, and if they wanted to marry the right man or the right wife, they could only tell by their appearance.
At that time, my grandmother chose a mate for her children according to the sentence "marrying a man depends on your shoulders, marrying a wife depends on your hands".
So, just like that, Mom and her siblings found a life partner.
1. "Marrying a man and looking at the shoulder"
The so-called "marrying a man depends on his shoulders", which means that when choosing a husband, he should look at his shoulders.
As an important part of our human body, the shoulder plays a role in support and protection, and a man with strong shoulders means that he has good physical fitness and strength.
In the past, the husband's broad shoulders would give his wives a sense of security, and for them, when the man was strong, he could take on the cultivation of the land and bring plenty of food for the family.
In the era of lack of food and clothing, men can farm, which is undoubtedly the greatest wealth of the family, and material satisfaction makes women feel extra secure.
Even in today's society, most people don't have to rely on farming to make a living, and girls will still refuse to "can't carry on their shoulders and can't lift their hands" to their other half.
If a girl finds a boy with thin shoulders, it will often make outsiders speculate whether the man has some hidden disease and how can he be so thin.
Moreover, in ancient times, most men with thin shoulders could not farm, their families were poor, and their social status was also very low.
They walked on the road, often walking on the middle of nowhere, with their heads bowed because of their shame.
Even in ancient times, when choosing a mate, she not only looked at whether the man was strong, but also looked at the man's character.
Don't underestimate your shoulders, as the saying goes, it is born from the heart, what kind of appearance a person has, most of them have something to do with his character.
In the past, when parents chose a mate for their daughters, they judged a man's character by his shoulder.
1. Broad shoulders
Most of these men are in good health, giving people a sense of honesty and honesty, and they belong to people who value love and righteousness.
According to physiognomy theory, men with broad shoulders are usually good people, they often help others, and they treat others sincerely, so most of these men are popular.
In the past, when the living conditions were not good, the family conditions of the man can also be seen through the broad shoulders of the man, often such men are born in rich and noble families, and eat well, so that they can have a strong body.
If the girl in the family marries such a man, her life will be better in the future, and she will not be worried about money.
2. Thin shoulders
For men, thin shoulders are also a problem with physical health, in the past when it was difficult and expensive to see a doctor, if men were often sick, not only could not go to the field to farm, but also may die young because of illness.
If a woman marries such a man, there is a high probability that she will be widowed at a young age, which is probably not what her mother's family wants to see.
In the past, people with thin shoulders were also very thin overall, and in the eyes of the ancestors, this kind of person had no fixed place to live and poor living conditions, and if a girl married her, she might have to suffer from poverty and hunger for the rest of her life.
People with thin shoulders always give people the feeling of slippery heads, and they are likely to flatter rich people for the sake of their own future.
In the past, such men were likely to sell their wives and daughters for money.
Therefore, such men must not marry, otherwise they will regret it for life.
3. The shoulders are not flush
It stands to reason that people's shoulders should be horizontal, but some people usually have a bad walking posture, resulting in a high shoulder and a low shoulder.
Most of these men have personality problems, and people who have a bad walking posture are usually more mixed people.
Therefore, in the eyes of parents, daughters must not choose such a man to marry.
People with uneven shoulders give people a pompous feeling, this kind of person usually has an unhonest personality, and they can't live a solid life after marriage, so they are not a good match.
"Marrying a man and looking at the shoulder", as an ancient concept of mate selection, is the basis for parents to find a good husband for their daughter, who is not only hard-working, but also has good character.
A real man should have enough ability and courage to take on the responsibilities of the family, and their shoulders should support not only the personal body, but also the family.
After understanding this proverb, I found that my ancestors were really accurate in seeing people.
A good couple grows together, marries a person with broad shoulders, and in the future married life, he can tolerate your shortcomings and shortcomings.
On the contrary, marrying a person with thin shoulders may lead to a situation in the future life where great disaster is approaching and the husband and wife go their separate ways.
2. "Marry a wife and look at your hands"
In the past, the main task of women was to take care of the family, and all the housework was handled by women, so it was especially important to have a pair of dexterous hands.
In the eyes of the mother-in-law, the palm of the daughter-in-law can often tell her ability and character.
The first time Xiaoling went to meet her parents with her boyfriend, her mother-in-law treated her very warmly at that time, and held her hand to caress her.
Xiaoling thought that this was a way for the old people to show kindness, but she didn't expect that the next day her boyfriend told her that her mother did not agree with their relationship.
Xiaoling was very surprised, obviously her boyfriend's mother was very kind to her yesterday, why did she turn her face today?
The boyfriend said that her mother felt that her hands were too thin and thought she was a blessed person, so she disagreed.
Xiaoling and her boyfriend both felt that this reason was too unconvincing, so they were still firmly together.
So what kind of palm is the standard for a good wife and mother? What kind of palm do parents like and hate when they are old-fashioned?
1. Thick palms
Ancient physiognomy masters, when they showed girls their faces, usually touched their hands, and most of the people whose palms were thick to the touch were blessed with good fortunes.
There is also such a saying in the folk, "hands are like cotton, there is no shortage of food money", if a person's palms are thick, it is a symbol of blessing, such women will not worry about food and money.
This kind of talk is not unfounded, in the past, most people relied on farming for a living, farming requires strength, if a woman often cultivates in the field, the palm of the hand is not like cotton, white and fat.
Generally, girls born in rich and noble families do not need to be coolies, do not need to plough the land, and their palms will be raised white and fat.
If a man can marry such a daughter-in-law, he will definitely give a rich dowry from his mother's family, and his future life will be very good, and he will not have to worry about money and food.
2. The palm can hold water
When a woman's hands are closed, she can hold water without losing it, and such a woman usually has a good life and can marry home.
According to the old man, there is no gap when the hands are closed, which means that there is more meat on the hands, and if a woman who often does housework, she will not have so much meat on her hands.
There is also another saying that water represents money in Feng Shui, and if a woman cannot hold water in her hands, it also indicates that she will not be able to grasp money.
If you marry such a woman, your family will not be rich in the future, but will become poorer and poorer, which is what the old people say is not prosperous.
For women who can hold water in the palm of their hands, they are very popular in poor homes.
In the past, the poorer the family, the more concerned about the woman's well-being, thinking that if you marry a blessed woman, the family will be better off in the future.
However, now that the conditions of people in society are better, and most of them are plump, even in families with average conditions, girls' palms have flesh and can hold water.
3. The woman's fingers are long
In some places, the old people say, "A woman with long fingers suffers all her life", because women have long fingers, which is very suitable for manual work.
In the past, girls from poor families usually made money by being female celebrities, at that time, women took care of their in-laws, husbands and children during the day, and only at night, they used the faint candlelight to be female celebrities, which was very hard.
The woman with long fingers has been busy all her life and has no time to rest, so she has suffered a lot in this life.
If a woman's fingers are short and thick, such women's fingers are not very dexterous and they are not good at being a female celebrity, they don't have to do so much work, and their lives are better than those of women with long fingers.
But in today's society, on the contrary, women's fingers are very suitable for controlling computer keyboards or musical instruments, and most of them are talented and can make money by crafting.
The woman with short fingers is a coolie who does heavy work and her living conditions are not very good.
"Marrying a man looks at the shoulder, marrying a wife looks at the hand" modern meaning
Although this proverb is the concept of mate selection for men and women in ancient society, it also contains a certain truth, and it is a basis for the ancestors to look at people.
In today's society, men and women are free to marry, and women's social status is also higher.
In today's increasingly diversified view of marriage and love, we should not be bound by traditional concepts, but we cannot ignore the wisdom and value contained in it.
We should understand and accept these traditional concepts with an open mind, and at the same time combine the actual situation of modern society to form a more scientific and reasonable view of marriage and love.
When we choose a partner, we should not only pay attention to the external conditions, but also pay attention to the inner qualities, not only to consider the immediate happiness, but also to think about the future life.
Only in this way can we find a partner who is truly suitable for us and create a happy married life together.