Recently, the ninth meeting of the Standing Committee of the 14th Fujian Provincial People's Congress passed the "Fujian Provincial Regulations on the Protection of Women's Rights and Interests". The regulations will come into force on June 1, 2024.
Article 45 of Chapter 6 of the Regulations clearly states that "a woman holding an identity card, household registration booklet, marriage certificate and other valid documents proving the relationship between husband and wife may apply to the real estate administration, vehicle management and other units to inquire about the property status of her spouse in accordance with the law, and the relevant units shall accept the application and issue corresponding written materials for her".
As soon as the news came out, related topics immediately appeared on the hot search.
Many netizens expressed their support and suggested that this policy should be implemented nationwide.
Those who expressed support said that the rights and interests of women after marriage were protected, especially for stay-at-home mothers, who could reasonably fight for their gains when they encountered a marriage change.
Most netizens expressed the hope that the husband and wife could check each other.
A lawyer said: "This is to emphasize and awaken women's rights, and the premise is 'according to law', which does not mean that the husband is deprived of the right to check his wife's property." ”
In fact, similar local regulations have been promulgated in Guangzhou, Qingdao, Jinan and other places, which clearly stipulate that husband and wife can inquire about each other's property, or the woman has the right to inquire about the joint property managed by the husband.
In fact, whether it is a wife or a husband, choosing to marry a person is not a rush to divorce, just like the "inquiry of spouse property" here, which is a constraint and a guarantee.
As Ginsburg put it:
"Freedom exists only in bondage, and without embankments, there are no rivers. ”
When there is a check and balance in marriage, the relationship will not be unbalanced, and only when we know how to love can we learn to be loved.
Marriage is like a game, and everyone is looking for security
No one wants to live on an island, and few people want to do their life's work hastily.
As one sentence goes:
"Marriage is like a game, winning is happiness, losing is waste. ”
Everyone is looking for that soulmate.
When men and women in marriage and love talk about money and conditions, it is not to say that love is a transaction, but to give happiness an insurance:
The content is to provide a sense of security to the partner, and the deadline is the rest of the life.
Source: Visual China
Blogger @易轶 marriage lawyer once shared a real case.
The person concerned was a woman, and at the beginning, for the sake of love, she completely ignored it and resolutely married him who was destitute.
This "naked marriage" is not favored by people who have come over, but she feels that love can overcome all problems.
Later, in order to have a stable home, just buying a house emptied all the savings of his parents, and as soon as the child was born, the financial pressure was like a mountain, which overwhelmed the couple.
Unfortunately, the mother-in-law had another serious illness and spent all the savings of the young couple overnight.
The marriage that vowed to go to Baitou together finally lost to reality.
thought that they would be very happy in their married life, with love as the foundation, but unexpectedly, the reality of poverty still destroyed all her confidence in marriage.
She said that poor couples mourn everything, and she only now understands the true meaning of this sentence.
Psychologist Zeng Qifeng once said: "Money is one of the things that can mark the boundaries the most in marriage." ”
Whether you have money or not, how you spend it, all affect the sense of security of your marriage.
It is true that it is very vulgar to talk about money, but when it comes to the future of two people, it is perfunctory not to talk about money.
The so-called marriage is to rely on the heart, and it is also "I will give you a sense of security because I love you".
Behind the seemingly problem, there is a need that is not noticed
Heard such a story.
At a symposium, I accidentally talked about family topics, and a successful business woman complained:
"My husband and I often quarrel because of different consumption views. Every time it's a small thing, but he just argues with reason, it's really annoying!"
Unexpectedly, one sentence made many people present complain:
Some people said that they exchanged their wages for a new bag, but they didn't expect that after their husband found out, he almost divorced.
Some people said that her husband borrowed money from a friend without an IOU, but she found out about it, and she had a cold war for several days.
There are also people who say that husbands are always lavish, and they don't know the price of firewood and rice, so they only care about having fun and enjoying themselves.
Amid everyone's complaints, Xiaoli shared her story.
In her early years, she suffered from depression and quit her job at home.
Occasionally, her in-laws will have opinions about her, only her husband has no complaints, and before going out every day, she does not forget to make breakfast for her, put her favorite books on the bedside, and download her favorite film and television dramas in advance.
The husband also took her to seek medical treatment, and he himself looked through a lot of information about depression to find a cure for his wife.
Even though he is usually very busy at work, he insists on taking time to exercise with his wife, accompany his wife to go shopping and relax.
After a long time, she felt guilty because of this, she couldn't control her emotions, and she took the trouble to pay for her husband.
Finally, she filed for divorce from her husband:
"I'm sorry I'm dragging you down. ”
Source: Visual China
Unexpectedly, her husband came over and hugged her tightly and said:
"Over the years, this family, thanks to your support, now I am replacing it to support this family. ”
After listening to her husband's words, Xiaoli cried, and it was also from that moment that she decided to actively treat and try to face life with a smile.
Now, with the help of her husband, she has overcome the disease and started again.
Yang Jiang once said: "Middle-aged couples rely on their conscience, and when the passion fades, the marriage has just begun." ”
When you are a husband and wife, I understand when you are speechless, it is healing, and when you need it, I am here, it is long-term affection.
Finding a partner is not about handing in, learning to love and be loved is
I once saw Mr. Shen Yifei put forward a theory of "four quadrants of love" in "Reader":
With happiness as the horizontal axis and growth as the vertical axis, love is divided into four types, namely: hedonic type, growth and healing type, reciprocal type, and consumption bundle type.
Photo: Zhiyi
Healing love not only makes us feel happy, but also makes us grow, makes us love life, and has more courage and wisdom to face life's problems.
But if you aim for it in the first place, it's very difficult.
Because, most of the growth healing love also develops from hedonic love or reciprocal love.
As Fromm said, "Love is an art and an ability that needs to be learned." ”
Yishu's novel "The Story of the Rose" confirms this.
The yellow rose grew beautifully, and after several fruitless loves, she decided to find a home.
So, among the suitors, she firmly chose the ordinary Fang Xiewen.
Her husband is not outstanding enough, but she feels that the other party is reliable, and she also needs a safe haven at that time to let her uneasy heart have something to rely on.
But unfortunately, after getting married, even though she tried to be a good wife and mother: she treated herself roughly, and gave attention to her husband and daughter.
But in exchange for the husband's blindness, daily quarrels, and self-consumption day after day.
After a failed marriage, Rose began to re-examine love and marriage.
When she was young, she always thought that a certificate of education was not important, and a job that required hard work was meaningless.
Because of these, it is not as good as a marriage for her to complete the class leap.
But she wasted her youth, and she couldn't take a shortcut, but was hurt by love.
After a few considerations, Rose made up her mind to study, work, and establish her own social circle, and then she became gentle and intellectual.
Later, Rose met a man who was transparent and wise, knew her warmth and coldness, and understood her joys and sorrows.
After years of precipitation, she finally learned how to love and be loved.
Source: Visual China
Suddenly I understood what Wilde said:
"Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. ”
It is true that many people will bet the rest of their lives on their partner for their happiness.
But love has a shelf life, and without the confidence of self-sufficiency, "I raise you" will also become the deepest poison.
I agree with the saying: "Love is not two circles that are missing a corner that coincide with each other, but two perfect circles that meet." ”
can make a living, but also can love, in order to have stable happiness.
A good marriage, do you want to talk about money?
This question is often the subject of controversy.
A mother had to resign and become a full-time mother after giving birth to her second child.
Previously, she and her husband were financially independent of each other, but when she decided to resign, she and her husband agreed:
"In the future, I will be in charge of the family's finances, and I will give you pocket money every month. ”
Some people think that this is unfair to men, but it turns out that this mother has been at home with the baby for five years, and she still takes care of the family like a working woman.
Controlling the financial power of the family also makes her feel more secure, and the stable rear allows her husband to work hard with more peace of mind.
An open and honest and healthy view of money can enhance the trust between husband and wife and promote the harmony and fulfillment of marriage.
I agree with the saying: "Material determines the lower limit of marital happiness, and emotional value determines the upper limit of marital happiness." ”
A good marriage is about both money and love.
It is half love, half poetry, and half the fireworks of life.
May you have the capital to be self-reliant, and you also have the confidence to be loved.
Author: Meet Xiaoyuan, hold a pen in one hand, and write all the mountains.