Narrator: Guo Yanfei
My name is Guo Yanfei and I am 45 years old. At present, I open a small supermarket in the county, and my husband delivers express delivery. Still on the way to buying a house.
I was born in a relatively remote rural area. I have three brothers and sisters. I'm the eldest and below are twin brothers. Neither of my parents was educated. Life is also poor.
When we were young, we were already divided into households. I was able to eat a full meal slowly. However, at that time, it was mainly coarse grains. I also eat some wild vegetable cakes from time to time. It is to put a little cornmeal and flour from wild vegetables to make cakes, nest nests. It's choking to eat. But it's good to be full!
Both parents are farmers who do their duty. My father was honest and honest, and he managed the family's one-third of an acre of land very neatly. The fields have been divided into households, the farm work is done, and there is more time for freedom.
Later, my father went to work in the coal kiln in the town. The work of the coal kiln is hard and tiring. But it's always good to stay at home!
The mother is diligent, and the family raises pigs, chickens, ducks and geese. I used to go out to mow the grass and feed it. My siblings and I also helped our mother cut together after school.
Although I was poor when I was a child, I was very happy. However, happy days do not last long. I remember that winter, my mother was seriously ill. In fact, at the beginning, there were signs of my mother's illness.
However, the parents' generation carried everything on their own and didn't say anything. If you can't bear it anymore, it's too late. Later, I learned that my mother died of lung disease. I was 15 years old. The two younger brothers are also only 13 years old. Before my mother died, she took me by the hand and asked me to take care of my younger brothers.
After my mother left, the burden of supporting the family fell on my father's shoulders alone. My father was very busy every day, and he was busy with the family's farm work after finishing outside.
I wanted to help, but I couldn't do the work in the fields, so I had to cook and tidy up the house. The two younger brothers are okay too. Never cause trouble outside. It's also a peace of mind.
My brother and I studied well. But my mother passed away, and it was too difficult for my father to be alone. I voluntarily gave up after I finished junior high school. Thinking about me as the eldest in the family. Always take care of my brother a little more. My younger brother studies well, and if he can be admitted to a good university, then the family will not have to worry about life. The two younger brothers can also have a good future.
When I was 18 years old, I went to the factory with my sister, who was working outside the village. The work in the factory is generally piecework, and I am fast, so I naturally earn more. After the salary was paid, I sent the money to my father, so that my father could save it for the two younger brothers to study.
My father felt sorry for me and asked me to stay more every time, for fear that I would suffer outside. I also report good news but not bad news, for fear that my father will worry about me.
I am especially saving. The little sisters who worked together knew about my family and saw that I was reluctant to buy clothes and shoes. Sometimes they give me the ones they have worn, not too old. My only thought at that time was to save money.
Later, both younger brothers were admitted to university. My father and I were very happy. Tell my two younger brothers that they must finish their studies and don't worry about anything else.
At that time, I was full of energy, and I felt that good days at home would soon come. However, while my father was working, he had an accident.
By the time I got home, my relatives had taken my father to the county hospital. I took care of my father while doing odd jobs in the county seat.
My father was later discharged from the hospital and could no longer do heavy work. I felt very lost all of a sudden. But the two younger brothers are still waiting to pay the tuition. My father's health is not good, and I can't go far. I couldn't find a job in the county. Working in a garment factory during the day. At night, I work part-time at a restaurant to brush dishes.
Every day, I can't straighten my waist when I'm tired, and in winter, my hands are full of chilblains, and when it's serious, I will have pus. My father wept every time he saw it. I reassured him that it was fine. It will be out in another two years.
Finally, the two younger brothers graduated, and the eldest brother stayed in the field and joined a foreign company. The little brother returned to the provincial capital. Entered a state-owned enterprise. Their work was stable, and I felt like I had accomplished some kind of mission. In fact, in my heart, I feel that I am more like a substitute for my parents to provide them with education.
By the time they have a stable job, I'll be older. I still remember that at that time, my two younger brothers felt that they owed me something in their hearts. Said that he would definitely be good to me in the future. I told them: We are family. It's supposed to support each other.
Later, I met my current husband through a relative's introduction. He didn't read much, and he had a lot of energy. Generous people. Although the conditions at home are not very good. Look at the people in your twenties, what else is there to pick. In this way, he hastily married himself.
He didn't have much skills, so he did small work on the construction site. We didn't have any savings in our hands, so we had to rent a house first. A little over a year later, I gave birth to my daughter. I have to take care of the children, and my husband is the only one who earns money at home.
At that time, my father often brought me vegetables and grain from the countryside. Life went by like this. Both younger brothers are doing well. Occasional phone calls.
When the child was two years old, I found a kindergarten and sent it over. 500 yuan a month is considered very cheap. I went to the class again. The monthly salary is more than 1,800 yuan, which is at least enough for daily expenses. The husband can still save a little bit of the money he earns.
My two younger brothers also started a family, and I didn't have much savings, and buying a house didn't help much. But no matter how difficult the days are, I still prepared three golds for my two brothers and daughters-in-law. I was able to pull this on with all my might. Nothing else can be done.
My husband and I have been trying to earn money and want to buy our own house as soon as possible. Two years ago, my father had another cerebral hemorrhage. After being discharged from the hospital, he was barely able to take care of himself. Originally, my husband and I wanted my father to live with us, but he refused. Insist on going back to the countryside. We bought him crutches and a wheelchair. You can cook your own food or anything, he said he was at ease in the countryside. Actually, I know he's afraid of dragging us down.
In the past two years, the mask problem has been troublesome, and life at home is very difficult. It just happened that the supermarket at the entrance of the community was redeemed. My husband and I can cash it together, and I can go to work. I can also take care of the children.
But the savings in my hand were not enough, and in desperation, I called the eldest brother and the younger brother, thinking that I could help us with the money in my hand. However, they all made excuses to refuse. Later, it was a relative on my mother-in-law's side who borrowed money from us.
Actually, through this incident, I feel cold in my heart. However, the days always have to look forward. Now, I run a small supermarket and my husband is delivering couriers. We're still trying to save up for a house.
During the Chinese New Year, the two younger brothers came home to see their father. We bumped into each other and avoided me. The two of them didn't mention the fact that we borrowed money again, but kept showing off that they had changed their cars and traveled with their wives and children.
My father was angry and yelled at them: Your sister went to work for you to study when she was so young. For your sake, I have also delayed myself. I have difficulties, I open my mouth with you, you don't help at all, and you are still showing off here. Did your conscience let the dog eat? You changed cars, you went on a trip, and you didn't even think that your sister didn't even have a nest of her own. Are you so at ease?
My father beat them with a cane. They didn't defend it. Thinking that I have passed half of my life, and I really failed to live like this! I can't help but ask myself in my heart, is it worth the effort?