The author once read an article about the high cost of marriage for men in China, who need to prepare real estate and pay a bride price. The author concludes that why we are so obsessed with "taking the register".
If our obsession with having offspring was less intense, perhaps both men and women would have more freedom, and the elderly would no longer have to complain about what they have done. For many elders, this is unimaginable.
What is even more surprising is that in the face of the reality of the mentality of future generations, this perception has begun to gradually change. The thoughts of a middle-aged woman express the helplessness of many.
"I began to accept that my children chose not to have children", the mentality of middle-aged people has changed Bai Yansong has publicly said that the reasons that hinder childbearing include at least real estate, the cost of education and the status of women. The first two are related to family conditions, while the latter are a manifestation of traditional ideas not keeping up with the times.
Of course, while the first two reasons may not be realistic for most families, there is general agreement that it is necessary to have an only child.
Especially at an older age, one may be more aware that having offspring means having moral support. It may be an instinct to continue the offspring. And in traditional thinking, if it's a boy, it's more likely to trigger pride.
The educational environment of the post-00s generation is very different from that of middle-aged people, and although they are young, it is difficult to understand this difference. However, unexpectedly, many middle-aged people have also joined the "camp" of the post-00s, especially the earliest post-90s.
When a woman heard about the possibility of postponing retirement, she began to think about what would happen to her children when they got married. She gave birth at the age of 28, and if her children had children at the same age, it would take her nine years before she could retire.
If you resign, you will not have a salary and need to interrupt your social security contributions, which is a great financial pressure for the average family. When it comes to "whoever gives birth to who brings", but the children's work income is average, and it is equally impractical to resign.
Considering her old age, even at the age of 85, her children would not be able to spare much time to take care of her, because they were eight years away from retirement. It's almost the equivalent of two generations having to work hard to make ends meet and struggle to support each other when they need it most.
Many middle-aged people have a similar mentality to her: they used to worry that young people were more inclined to "live on their own", but now they are beginning to accept that their children choose not to have children, because it is already difficult to take care of themselves, and what "incense" to consider.
Parents are beginning to agree that if their offspring are destined to face great stress, forcibly giving birth may just be a selfish act. Perhaps when Mr. Bai Yansong analyzed the "resistance" at that time, he did not consider that the retirement age would also become a new "problem". Today, the pressures in the workplace are heavier than in the last era.
It is not uncommon for one employee to take on the workload of two people in a business. The time limit for retirement is long, which makes it difficult for ordinary working families to find time and energy to take care of their families.
There are still many people in this generation who enjoy a pension that is higher than their children's wages when they are still in good health, and can help take care of their grandchildren at the same time, and also provide appropriate financial support. However, over time, such opportunities may gradually diminish.
Measures to reduce pensions have been taken in neighbouring countries. Many middle-aged people said that because they were living hard, they did not want their children to repeat this pattern of life. However, simply teaching children to be "diligent" is already difficult to achieve social mobility.
They have no choice but to accept and even somewhat expect their children to choose "unmarried". Parents are beginning to agree that if they know that their offspring will face a hard life, then it is selfish to force a child despite the pressures of reality.
Of course, some people refute that the support depends on the parents themselves, and if the conditions are poor, they will be "poor". In fact, as long as there is a sense of responsibility, parents will not let their children pull down too much among their peers. If you give up involution because of your own poor conditions, you will find that this is not realistic when your children go to school. Because there are many parents who are willing to pay and have the ability to train well. If children are separated from their classmates from an early age, won't it be easier to fall into a stressful life after graduation?
Parents' concerns are not only about retirement age, but also about employment in later years.
It was pointed out that the middle-aged man's worries seem to take into account only one aspect, which is the assumption of being able to work smoothly until the age of 65. In reality, however, this is not entirely guaranteed if you are in a non-institutional position.
Current recruitment generally places certain age restrictions on candidates, and clerical positions in the office usually become a bottleneck at the age of 35. And the assembly line work in the factory is also reluctant to recruit employees who are about to retire. This may mean that the average wage earner may be confined to "staying at home" in their later years.
While there is more time at your disposal, income is an issue. Therefore, it is difficult to determine how to resolve this gap. As a result, many middle-aged people have gradually lowered their expectations for their later years.
They don't want their children to fall into this cycle and start to accept the thinking of the younger generation. There are more enlightened ideas, but there are also compromises to the reality of helplessness. If there had been enough time and financial conditions, perhaps they would not have made such a change.
【Topic】Do the middle-aged people around you have similar thoughts?