Hello everyone, I am Sixi ~ a 30+ full-time mother, focusing on sharing self-growth|daily life|reading and writing, dreaming of making a living through writing, making money with my left hand, and raising a baby with my right hand.
A few days ago, I posted an article about not having a second child, but I didn't expect it to cause a lot of discussions, and there were 100 messages.
In general, there is a little more support.
Some people feel that they can't keep up with the economic energy of raising children, some feel that they can't guarantee that they are not partial, so it is better to ask for one, and some feel that the general environment is not very friendly, so why bring their children to experience this......
Different views are that a child is too lonely, and some think that not having a second child is just a temporary idea, and the idea is changing at any time......
I still want to have children, I just don't want to have a second child.
I just want to have a baby
I was more impressed by a comment, I can't remember the original words, she deleted it. Probably means, saying so much, it's not because there is no money.
Yes, this is an undeniable point, and I don't shy away from it, I really don't have enough financial foundation to support having a second child.
Mr. Chen and I were both born in rural areas, and our parents were both farmers facing the loess with their backs to the sky.
I also have a younger brother who is studying, and my parents are already fine without asking me to help, not to mention my in-laws, who are the kind of people who don't contribute money or effort but only give birth to a second child.
I think that when I wrote this, I might get comments like: Since you don't have money, don't give birth.
What I want to say is, we just want to have a crystallization of love, I want to be a mother myself, and we are ready children, but we may not be perfectly prepared.
Who can guarantee that everything will be perfectly prepared?
We have been in love for 6 years and married for 4 years to have a child, at the beginning of 22 we were ready to have a baby, I went to the hospital for a comprehensive examination, before I began to prepare for pregnancy, it was quite smooth, and I found out that I was pregnant at the end of May.
There was no danger during the whole pregnancy, and we had a lovely young girl in January 23 as we wished.
Now that my younger sister is one year old and three months old, my hair that fell out after giving birth has grown back, and it is even more fluffy than before childbirth.
It's the stretch marks on the belly and the scar on the lower abdomen that is more than ten centimeters unbearable, Mr. Chen said that it was a medal, so I think so!
In the previous articles, I have been talking about how hard and difficult it is to have a child, but there are still many happy moments in the process of raising children.
Although it was very hard, I have no regrets about giving birth to her, and I am very grateful to her for choosing us to be her parents and bring more color to our boring life.
Children will bring new surprises to the repetitive life
To be honest, before I had a baby, I was really a little annoyed with the world of two people.
Except for the first two years of long-distance relationship, we have been together since I graduated, and the time of love and marriage combined, a full 7 years.
Someone asked us if we had a seven-year itch, but in fact it wasn't, after we decided to be together, we never thought about separating, but the two of us did have an indescribable boredom after staying for a long time.
When I was 21 years old, I really didn't want to stay with Mr. Chen (not to break up), but I was just tired of that state, so with his support, I went to another place to rent a house and lived alone for a few months.
In the years before having a child, many good things had already happened between me and Mr. Chen, and the rest seemed to be only repetition, day by day, year by year.
Our lives are basically about working, eating, sleeping, and on weekends we are basically with our own mobile phones and sometimes going out for a walk. We're all very homely people, and we basically repeat one day at a time.
After giving birth to a daughter, our lives have changed a lot, and I have also witnessed the birth of a super daughter slave.
For example: My daughter likes to scratch for a while, and once scratched her father's face, he was the first to be, "Oh, have you scratched your nails~ There are countless similar things.
In addition, it also made me see the more responsible side of Mr. Chen, I still remember that when my daughter was born, my parents did not help, he took care of me and my daughter in an orderly manner, and I took over the burden of taking care of the baby after the confinement.
even made people who were not optimistic about my marriage with Mr. Chen change their words and said that I have found a good husband.
In the year of raising my daughter, although there have been moments of collapse, she has brought us more happiness and surprises!
Raising a child is to make up for yourself when you were a child
I knew a long time ago that I was desperate to have a daughter in order to raise my childhood self all over again.
When I was scrolling through Xiaohongshu, I came across a topic: raising a child is raising a young self.
Seeing the blogger's interpretation, I really super agree that when I was a child, I always picked up other people's clothes to wear, so I didn't want my daughter to pick up other people's clothes to wear (this topic also caused controversy in the comments of the previous article).
I don't wear second-hand clothes for my daughter, it's not that second-hand clothes are bad, it's just that my own experience has a shadow on it, and I just want to give my daughter the best she can.
Before I would comb my own hair, I had never had long hair and was forced to look like a tomboy, so I would comb my daughter with beautiful pigtails every day, and it just so happened that she liked it too, and she didn't move when she brushed her hair.
When I was a child, I was subjected to suppressed education, I remember once the school organized to watch "Warm Spring", but I only watched part of it, Xiaohua and Grandpa's tear-jerking scene, I cried when I watched it.
My classmates went back and told my mom that I cried while watching TV, and my mom counted me down in front of many people: I cried when I watched TV, pretending to be ......
I don't remember the extra words, I just remember the mocking gazes of the people around me looking at me presumptuously. I would never do this to my daughter, I would understand her support her.
I once saw a passage:
The so-called parent-child game is nothing but mutual nourishment. I originally thought that I had given everything for you, but in the end, I realized that it was I who made it perfect.
Thinking about it at a deeper level, I just want to fulfill myself and re-nourish myself, and I hope that when my daughter grows up, she will not be inferior to herself, sensitive, and twisted like her mother.
In the process of raising my daughter, I am also breaking myself and reshaping, and it is my daughter who is leading me in a better direction~~
Now my daughter can only call Mom and Dad, and often shouts "Mom Mom", I hope that when I say to her in the future: Thank you for choosing me to be your mother, she will be able to answer me happily, thank you for being my mother.
Write at the end
The last thing I want to express is that it is not necessary to be born or not to be born, everyone thinks differently, respect and understand.
I saw a sentence on Weibo today, which makes sense: There is only one reason to have a child, and that is that I want to be a mother!
I hope we can all live our lives according to our own wishes~~
Above, all encouragement.
About the Author:
30+ full-time mothers, dreaming of making a living through writing, making money with their left hand and raising a baby with their right hand.
Like my sharing, welcome to follow, like, and favorite~~
Previous Articles:
In 93, at the age of 31, I will not have a second child
In 93, at the age of 31, after giving up being a good daughter-in-law, I was happier