"Do you talk about money shame?"
This is a netizen surnamed Wang who raised a question on social platforms.
He said that since he first entered college, he has been suffering from "shame in talking about money" since he first took charge of living expenses alone, and now he feels extremely painful.
On the first day of registration, because the classmate didn't bring an ID card, he generously helped to get one, but after that, the classmate never took the initiative to repay the money, and he was embarrassed to ask for it because of the shame of "just a few dozen yuan".
When I go to the restaurant to eat with my classmates, I invite two or three meals each time, and the other party may invite one meal, and occasionally let him suffer the double shame of "evading orders".
In addition, when the two go to Internet cafes and shopping together, the other party will ask him to pay for him because of the "bad signal", but he never takes the initiative to transfer money afterwards.
And netizens continue to suffer this dumb loss because of the double pressure of "fear of hurting feelings by talking about money" and "shame of talking about money".
The most excessive time was when a classmate fell in love and took the initiative to invite everyone to dinner, but he didn't take out his mobile phone at the checkout...
Let's just say, just looking at these words makes me feel angry, what is the "shame of talking about money", can it really make a person suffer so many dumb losses frequently?
Is it because this netizen has too much living expenses and is not "poor" enough?
What is shocking is that when I clicked on the comment area, I learned that there are not a few netizens who also feel that they are suffering from "shame in talking about money", and there are many people with the same psychology who say that they are actually "poor and generous".
A netizen named "There are pills under the mountain" shared his helpless experience.
When she had just graduated and was poor, a friend who played very well suddenly came to her to borrow money, and one mouth was 10,000 yuan.
In order to be able to help his friend, this netizen didn't think about refusing, and scraped together 10,000 yuan, and he had to call his friend quickly.
But after the other party only paid back 5,000, he was completely dashing, watching concerts and traveling.
Leaving netizens in vain, under the pressure of the two ideas of "feelings are greater than money" and "shame of talking about money", they did not dare to take the initiative to ask for it.
When she finally couldn't bear to question this friend in person, the other party's reaction was simply overwhelming:
"I remember I didn't borrow money from you?"
Good guy, this anger gauge is really full all of a sudden, and in the end, it has become an "unreasonable trouble" for money, which not only hurts money but also hurts feelings, and loses completely.
However, it can also be seen from this that people who suffer from severe "money shame disorder" are generally people who value feelings more and want both parties to respect and understand each other.
But in real life, the more good people are, the easier it is to attract "bad people"
Obviously, everyone goes out to dinner together, but there are so many people, every time they would rather sit and play with their mobile phones, and never take the initiative to pay, waiting for those who "have shame" to take the initiative to check out because of embarrassment.
Moreover, some people are not only ashamed to talk about money when they are friends, but they are more afraid of "talking about money" when they fall in love.
There is a girl who has been talking with her boyfriend for 4 months, and she was stunned because she was "afraid of being said to be material", which led to no questions about her boyfriend's real life, and the word "confused" was vividly embodied.
At that time, the girl couldn't help but come to learn from a female blogger because of some problems in love, but she encountered three questions from the other party:
"How much does your boyfriend get paid now?
How much do you deposit now?
What is family life like? I don't know. ”
Good guy, judging from her submission, this girl has already lived with her boyfriend, and the two can be said to have done everything they should do, if nothing else, it is very likely that they are rushing to get married.
But until now, she didn't know anything about the man's basic situation.
The good thing to say is "I'm embarrassed to dig deep into the other party's privacy", and it's not nice to say, isn't this operation a bit "silly".
Let's just say, everyone is a person who wants to live, how did the "shame of talking about money" come about, so that these people would rather grit their teeth and endure than be ashamed to mention money?
Could it be related to childhood experiences?
"It was my mom who raised me to be shy about talking about money. ”
Regarding everyone's heated discussion, after an in-depth analysis, a netizen thinks that he is now "ashamed to ask the price and embarrassed to talk about money with friends" and other operations, probably because he was scolded too much in this regard when he was a child.
She said that her mother would directly interrupt when she asked about the price of the product, and scolded "the other party says as much as it is, and it is rude for you to ask again."
Over time, she began to feel ashamed of talking openly and honestly about money, and eventually became a "spiritual poor".
I have to say that this mother's education method is really a bit strange, but she may also be a person with "shame on money", so that she accidentally passed on this point of view to the next generation.
Some netizens mentioned that this "sense of shame" may be related to the "humility and subtlety" in the bones of Chinese, and it seems that directly and nakedly talking about money is really a little untable, so let's talk about "dreams".
But the reality is that those who can put their heads down and talk about "money" often get the first pot of gold before many "subtle" people.
Such a result is really enviable and helpless.
Now, "talking about money shame" has rushed to the hot search, and I don't know how many fig leafs of the mentally poor have been torn off.
epilogue
Many people attribute their "shame to talking about money" to a "disease", which is also one of the sources of the term "shame about money".
But it is undeniable that although many people are "ashamed to talk about money", they still do not want to destroy the friendship between friends or lovers, and if they meet people with the same good intentions, both parties may not be embarrassed by "money" at all.
So the real "problematic" should be those who "deliberately pretend not to understand".
Stay away from these "rotten people", and many people's "shame of talking about money" may be cured.
Do you think that there is a "shame of talking about money" in yourself?
How did you start your transformation?
Source: The original article is based on the sharing of "Talking about Money Shame" on Weibo "Wang Sizhen" on April 22, 2024.
In order to improve the readability of the article, there may be polishing of the details, please read sensibly, for reference only!