The English writer Samuel said:
The success of a marriage depends on two people, and one person can make it fail.
A happy marriage comes from working together and working together, while an unhappy marriage happens in the opposite direction, with endless internal friction.
In marriage, once a man uses a method, he can easily destroy the woman in the marriage, and he can easily destroy the marriage of two people.
Sadly, in real life, such men are not uncommon. A woman who has been subjected to such treatment is trapped in the cage of marriage and is struggling.
One
Ignore family matters
When you enter marriage, you think you have found someone to shelter you from the wind and rain, but in the end you find that the wind and rain in your life are all brought by him.
There is no greater disappointment for a woman than a man.
I watched a video of a woman who has been in a widowed marriage for a long time, everything in the family is her business, and the man never cares about family affairs, never takes care of the children, and lies in bed and plays with his mobile phone on his days off.
On this day, the child kept crying, and the woman finally lost control of her emotions, yelling and dragging at the child, but the man who was resting at home always pretended not to hear.
Afterwards, the woman said: I am really disheartened, and I will treat him as if he does not exist in the future.
Writer Zhang Xiaoxian said:
The biggest harm a man can do to a woman is not that he falls in love with someone else, but that she is disappointed when she has something to expect.
The family needs two people to run it together, and when a man puts all the burdens of the family on the woman, it will quickly consume the woman's mental strength, making the woman feel haggard and on the verge of collapse. Women no longer have good expectations for marriage and the future, and only look like a resentful woman.
Two
Ignore women's emotions
Psychology says that the biggest cost between people is the cost of communication. And among all the communication methods, the most costly, the most hurtful feelings and the feelings of the wife is the Cold War.
After ten years of marriage, Kobayashi, who had been forbearing, finally decided to choose divorce.
Kobayashi said that the marriage brought her only a sense of humiliation that was ignored:
As long as there are contradictions and frictions, no matter what you say or do, no matter how broken your emotions are, he will always ignore them and directly fight cold.
This feeling is like a punch on cotton, angry and aggrieved, and you have nowhere to speak. As soon as you say it, others will give you a hat: it's all my fault, what you say is right.
When teeth and tongues are still fighting, let alone husband and wife.
When faced with contradictions and frictions, a man is unwilling to communicate, only habitually responds with a cold war, ignores his wife's emotions, and ignores them, which will make his wife stay in indifference and ruthless encirclement for a long time, and slowly become disheartened, and no longer have confidence in this relationship.
Three
Suppress women regardless of the recklessness
Zhou Juan's disappointment in her marriage stems from the man's constant suppression of her.
Zhou Juan has an average education, but she has a strong learning ability and a very likable personality, so she is a very good marriage partner in the eyes of many men.
But when I got to Zhou Juan's husband, it was a problem.
At first, Zhou Juan only found a job with an income of more than 2,000 because of her low education, and the mantra of men was: You are a college student, it is good to find a job.
Later, Zhou Juan improved her education while working, and her income soon reached 5,000, and the man said: There are college students everywhere, no matter how much you toss your academic qualifications, can you still compete with others?
Later, Zhou Juan studied a working graduate student, and her income gradually became on par with that of men, and the mantra of men became like this: You are a woman, you should spend more time and energy on taking care of your children and family, and don't lose watermelons and pick up sesame seeds.
In short, no matter what Zhou Juan does, men can find a point to suppress her, and turn a blind eye to her excellence.
A psalmist said,
Love is not an assimilant, turning you into my appearance and integrating me into your flesh and blood. Rather, you can be you, and I can be me. ”
A man who can't see the merits of his wife has only narrow-mindedness and selfishness in his heart, and he just wants to let his wife step under his feet through repeated suppression, so that he can find his sense of existence.
Zhang Xiaoxian said:
People don't treat important things casually. Most of the time, the coldness, neglect, and indifference you feel are not delusional.
When a man treats you in a "don't care, don't care" way, his love for you is actually gone.
A marriage that is not nourished in any way is destined to have no meaning and value in existence.