Nigmat and Pasha Guli, who are trapped in a single life, are still busy in Sanlitun, Xicheng District, Beijing, where cars are still bustling in the middle of the night, and the streets are brightly lit.
In the café, a small building located on the street of the bar, the 40-year-old CCTV gold medal male host Nigmaiti sat quietly on the window seat alone, holding the steaming American coffee with one hand, and holding the other hand under his head, looking through the window, looking affectionately and distantly at the crowd outside, the hustle and bustle outside.
From his handsome and resolute side face, it can be seen that there is an indescribable melancholy hidden in his heart.
At the bar not far from him, a tall, fashionably dressed woman was elegantly sipping a glass of red wine: Nigmaiti's ex-wife, Pasha Guli. This talented jewellery designer is now more mature and feminine, and even in the dim light, her independent femininity cannot be suppressed.
The 38-year-old Pasha, since his divorce from Nigmaiti, has been enjoying a free and easy single life, devoting himself to what he loves, and also travelling around in search of design inspiration.
By contrast, Nigmaiti's life seems to be somewhat monotonous, with busy hosting work during the day and often wandering aimlessly alone at home or in the streets at night.
When he saw the hurried people outside the window, he seemed to fall into deep thought. Two full years have passed since the divorce, and the trajectory of their lives has changed dramatically.
Somehow, an indescribable sense of loss and melancholy suddenly surged up in Nigmaiti's heart.
In the middle of the night, Nigmat let out a melancholy sigh of "what you choose, you suffer".
In the silence of the night, Nigmaiti picked up his mobile phone, opened the circle of friends, lightly tapped the keyboard with his fingers, and wrote down six distressing words: "You choose, you suffer!" Looking at these words, his brows were furrowed and his face was solemn, as if he was recalling the past that made him miserable.
It turned out that this sentence represented the decision he and Pasha finally made to break up and divorce. For a long time, Nigmat has always maintained a sunny and cheerful image of a big boy in front of the public, but who would have thought that he would go to the step of divorce?
And the source of all this has to be traced back to that time a few years ago.
In that year, Nigmaiti's career reached an unprecedented peak! He not only became a well-known host loved by the audience, but also created the widely acclaimed CCTV variety show "Hello Life" as a director, and became an indispensable superstar.
At this moment, however, his life took a heavy blow, and his wife, Pasha, was given the rare opportunity to study abroad and would go to a prestigious institution in Europe to specialize in jewelry design.
As the distance grew, rifts began to appear between the once intimate couple. Due to the difference in time zones, their communication time gradually decreased, and common topics became sparse.
Day after day, contradictions and misunderstandings accumulate between them, eventually turning into an irreparable emotional crisis.
To make matters worse, the conflict was further exacerbated by the absence of his wife, Pasha, during his mother's hospitalization for a serious illness. When the Spring Festival of 2020 is approaching, a sudden new crown epidemic has enveloped the entire land of China.
In this special year, Nigmaiti's mother unfortunately fell ill and was sent to the hospital for treatment, and her condition was very critical for a time.
As the only son in the family, Nigmat had to do his best, taking care of his sick mother in the hospital and dealing with the trivial tasks of the family on the other.
Despite this, he still strives to maintain an optimistic attitude and inspires people on social networks to face the odds bravely.
However, to Nigmaiti's surprise, his wife Pasha, who was far away in a foreign country, was indifferent after learning the news of her mother-in-law's hospitalization, and neither immediately returned to China to visit, nor did she bring the slightest spiritual support and comfort to her husband.
Faced with such a cold and absent performance of his wife, Nigmaiti's heart was filled with disappointment and anger. He has posted on social media about his anxiety and frustration, hoping that his mother will get through this difficult time.
However, the people closest to him turned a blind eye to the incident, which made him feel extremely painful.
Originally, there was a disagreement between Nigmat and Pasha over whether to have children. Now, the absence of the wife at this critical moment is undoubtedly adding fuel to the fire, making the conflict between them intensify to the point that it cannot be reconciled, and the relationship between the husband and wife has fallen to the bottom.
This sudden epidemic has brought Nigmaiti not only physical pressure, but also a heavy psychological blow. It was as if it was the last straw that broke the camel's back, completely destroying the last glimmer of hope for his marriage to the Pasha.
Since then, the divorce of the two seems to have become a doomed ending.
Disagreement on career development philosophy
Looking back, the conflict between Nigmat and Pasha is rooted in their very different views on fertility and career direction.
Nigmat grew up in an ordinary family, with his father working as an editor at a publishing house and his mother working as a voice actor at a television station. Under the influence of such an environment, he was strictly educated by his parents from an early age, and cultivated a rigorous, well-behaved and methodical character.
As an adult, Nigmat naturally longed to live a traditional way of life – starting a family, then having offspring, and then doing his best to honor his parents and raise his children.
Therefore, for a long time after marriage, he always looked forward to welcoming his own children as soon as possible.
However, the Pasha was very different from him. Born into a wealthy merchant family, she enjoyed a luxurious life from an early age, maintaining a certain degree of freedom and ease.
Pasha firmly believes that the success of his career is the most urgent task at the moment, and that the child's problems can be put on hold.
Due to the vastly different circumstances in which they were raised, they had a fundamental disagreement on the issue of children. At first, they were able to understand and tolerate each other, but as time went on, the conflict gradually escalated.
The fundamental reason for this is that they have different orientations towards life - Nigmaiti pays more attention to the warmth and harmony of family life, while Pasha pays more attention to the flourishing of personal careers.
This huge gap in perception undoubtedly indicates that they will not be able to spend the rest of their lives together. Sometimes, there is no right or wrong in love, it is just that it is difficult to coexist because of the different things that both parties are pursuing.
Nigmaiti's marriage to Pasha came to an end in such a regrettable way.
Encounters in a foreign country became the trigger for the breakdown of the marriage
Recalling the past years, Nigmat's first encounter with Pasha is full of romance. It was during an overseas trip that the two unexpectedly walked together, and during the journey, they gradually got to know each other, developed a liking for each other, and were surprised to find that they were fellow villagers.
In their first encounter, Pasha was instantly struck by Nigmaiti's innocent, enthusiastic and confident smile. He not only has a high attractiveness in appearance, but more importantly, he exudes a scholarly temperament, and his gestures are full of elegance.
And Nigmat was also fascinated by Pasha's charming figure and unique charm, as if he had met a perfect woman who was rare in the world.
So, under the reflection of the beautiful Bali island and the warm sun, the two began a romantic romance that crossed borders. They often walk hand in hand, stroll on the beach, or shuttle through the bustling commercial streets, releasing the vitality of youth and fiery emotions to the fullest.
Soon after returning home, Nigmat proposed to the Pasha, and they were successfully married. The life of the newlyweds is always full of joy, and they travel all over the world, like a pair of fairy couples with dreams and support each other.
However, once the two live apart, the difficulty of communication will be greatly increased, and the relationship will naturally be difficult to maintain. Especially in the absence of Pasha at the critical moment, the contradictions between the two intensified, and the final line of defense completely collapsed.
It can be said that their marriage gradually went from an encounter in a foreign country to a broken ending.
Lack of effective communication leads to tragedy, and communication is needed to maintain happiness
Looking back on this experience, it is not difficult to see that the most fundamental reason why Nigmat and Pasha came to the step of divorce was the lack of effective communication between them.
During the days when Pasha went abroad to study, communication between them became extremely difficult due to time zone differences and geographical distances. At first, frequent phone calls gradually decreased, and there were fewer and fewer common topics.
At the same time, the contradictions and misunderstandings between husband and wife are accumulating, like a time bomb that is gradually approaching the brink of detonation.
Regrettably, Nigmat and Pasha do not seem to be aware of the problem. As the parties concerned, they should have sat down, communicated openly, resolved their differences, and regained that deep feeling.
However, the reality is that due to the long separation, they have instead left these problems behind them, allowing contradictions to grow and spread in the depths of their hearts.
From the moment Nigmaiti's beloved mother was suddenly attacked by illness and admitted to the hospital, Pasha's lack of attendance showed an unexpectedly bad attitude, which was undoubtedly a heavy and fatal blow to Nigmaiti's remaining patience.
As a love partner, she has the responsibility to ignore this role and make the most of its potential function as a strong spiritual fortress for her husband, however, her coldness inadvertently causes irreparable damage to Nigmaiti's psyche.
This mother's hospitalization experience not only brought unprecedented psychological pressure to Nigmaiti, but also completely shattered his last hope for this marriage. Since then, the decision to divorce seems to have become an inevitable consequence.
On the long and tortuous road of life, marriage also requires us to manage it with our hearts. To spend the rest of their lives together, couples must learn to be honest with each other, express their thoughts openly, solve problems through effective communication, and repair rifts in their relationship.
If effective communication is lost, the road to marriage will become more and more difficult and may end in separation.