Qian Zhongshu once said: "Self-examination can observe people, and observing people is also self-knowledge." ”
Life is a practice, and self-reflection and self-knowledge are the only way for a person to reach maturity.
The so-called: "Those who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are clear." ”
Drawing meaning from others and seeing shortcomings from one's past self is a rare ability for a person.
People who live a transparent and sober life have long learned to see the essence through phenomena and see themselves clearly through others.
All relationships are a mirror
Li Shangyin, a poet in the late Tang Dynasty, wrote countless poems in his life, and his writing was brilliant.
Although the middle and fall of his family road made him take a lot of detours, the nobles he met along the way made his life have highlights and added a lot of warmth.
On Li Shangyin's life path, his best friend Han Zhan plays an important role.
The two are the same age, and they became acquainted because of the scientific expedition in the same year, and they got along and exchanged on weekdays, so that Han Zhan slowly understood Li Shangyin's growth and personality.
learned that when Li Shangyin was nine years old, he took on the responsibility of the family because of the sudden death of his father, copied and wrote for others, bought coarse grains and sold them, which was Li Shangyin's childhood life.
But even if life was hard, Li Shangyin was not crushed, but practiced a good hand by copying books.
It was precisely because of Li Shangyin's perseverance in suffering that Han Zhan believed in him even more.
By virtue of his identity as the son-in-law of Wang Maoyuan, the envoy of Jingyuan Festival, he introduced Li Shangyin to his wife's sister and achieved a pair of beautiful marriages.
Later, Li Shangyin's wife died of illness, and he himself was implicated in party disputes and had to leave for Sichuan to make a living.
But the children at home were unattended, and Li Shangyin was in a dilemma, so Han Zhan took the initiative to raise Li Shangyin's two children on his behalf.
The two have known each other for more than 20 years and have experienced ups and downs, but they have never reduced their trust, Han Zhan has always believed in and helped Li Shangyin.
Just because Lu Yao knows the horsepower, and sees the hearts of the people over time, the help of every time of crisis comes from his own character.
Writer Zhang Defen said in "Meet the Unknown Self": "There is nothing outside but yourself." ”
All the ups and downs in life are eventually reunited with oneself, and all the encounters in the world are actually encounters with oneself.
Those who help you come because of your character, and those who bully you are because of your cowardice.
The world is a mirror, what kind of person you are, what kind of person you will see, what kind of people you attract.
The good and bad of all interpersonal relationships are traceable, and everyone is in their own words and deeds to teach others how to treat themselves.
You are worthy of yourself, you will meet worthy others, when you pay sincerity and kindness, what you get will be a sincere friendship.
Through others, you see yourself
Zeng Guofan said: "Those who are good at others look at themselves, and those who are good at looking at themselves look at their hearts." ”
Looking at others is also looking at oneself, and the world in a person's eyes is essentially a projection of one's own heart.
Many times, if you don't do things well, you can't get used to others, and the problem is not in others, but in yourself.
During the Ming Dynasty, there was a local official recognized by the local people as a clean official, who handled cases fairly and had strong ability, but his temperament was a little impatient.
When the case is tried in front of the court, if something goes wrong, he will lose his temper and yell at the people in the court.
Everyone was afraid of the majesty of the prefectural order and did not dare to remind him.
Seeing this, the master who assisted him thought of a way.
During a trial, the criminal did not admit his guilt for a long time, and the county commander just wanted to lose his temper, but he heard the master next to him shout:
"Boldly Diao Min, now that the evidence is conclusive, you still don't admit guilt, do you want to be punished!"
The people present were taken aback, and the county order was also very frightened, and the scene was silent for a while.
The county magistrate wanted to remind the master to be quiet, and just as he was about to speak, he suddenly realized that he hadn't been like this before.
He saw that his master was so unscrupulous and reckless, as if he saw his former self, if so, how could he handle the case well.
So, the county magistrate learned from the pain and slowly got rid of his impatient temper.
After that, the county order was more efficient in handling cases, and it was also loved by more and more people, and he became a well-known good official within a radius of 100 miles.
As the old saying goes: "The authorities are confused, but the bystanders are clear." ”
It's easy to see the mistakes of others, but it's hard to see your own shortcomings.
Just like cynical people who always fail to recognize the status quo and do not make efforts, people who are high above just see themselves and say why not eat minced meat.
The others we see are actually ourselves.
What we think about others is a true reflection of our own hearts.
If you can't see the good of others, you don't have enough self-cultivation;
I like to find fault with others, but I can't do it myself.
Do not easily evaluate the actions of others, and do not arbitrarily guess the motives of others.
Always introspect and contemplate the mind, treat others with a tolerant heart, and do things with kindness, so that we can be stable and far-reaching, and the more we go, the more broad.
The greatest sobriety of people: take people as a mirror and recognize themselves
In ancient times, there was a painter who was very good at figure painting, and he became famous all over the world.
Those who are familiar with the artist's work know that when he paints people, he paints only one eye.
Someone was curious and asked why, and the painter said: "The greatest disadvantage of human beings is that both eyes are used to look at others."
I'm just reminding myself to look at others with one eye and to look at myself with one eye. ”
It is true that it is a kind of wisdom to see through others, and it is even more precious to be able to see oneself clearly through others.
Once, when Ji Xianlin went out to give a lecture, because he was in a hurry, he asked the nanny to help water the Junzi orchid he raised.
But when he came back, Jun Zilan had wilted and could no longer be saved.
It turned out that after the nanny finished watering, she saw that the sun was just right outside, so she specially moved the Junzi Orchid to the sun to absorb it.
But what she didn't know was that Junzilan liked semi-shade and was not sun-tolerant, so letting the noon sun shine directly was undoubtedly a death sentence for Junzilan.
Jun Zilan, who had been raised for a long time, died, Ji Xianlin was very sad, and the nanny was a little overwhelmed when she stood aside.
At this time, Ji Xianlin's son came to visit his father, and when he saw this, he wanted to criticize the nanny, but Ji Xianlin stopped his son and comforted the nanny.
Later, he explained to his son: "When others make mistakes, they often make their own mistakes.
I knew that my aunt would not take care of Junzilan, but I still handed over this matter to her, which was my negligence. ”
"Mozi" has a saying: "A gentleman is not a mirror in the water, but in a person." The mirror is in the water, and the face of the meeting is in the mirror, and the mirror is in the person, and the good and the evil are known. ”
Man's greatest enemy is not others but himself, and the most difficult thing in the world to see is not others but himself.
Our eyes can only see a range of 180 degrees, and the 360-degree world needs to be seen through others.
It doesn't matter what others do, what matters is what kind of self we see in others.
Attribute everything inward, mirroring the actions of others.
Recognizing one's own position, seeing one's own shortcomings, and constantly improving oneself is a person's greatest ability and the greatest sobriety.
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Lu Xun said: "It is true that I dissect others from time to time, but more often than not, I dissect myself more ruthlessly. ”
Taking history as a mirror can know the rise and fall, and taking people as a mirror can be dressed.
Don't treat others as fierce enemies, and learn to use the power of others to correct yourself, so as to find the right position in life and control the direction of life.
Source: There are books