Is it worth it? Maybe you have to ask yourself, what kind of response do you expect in your heart?
It seems that your heart is full of contradictions, this understanding is a decision made by yourself on your own initiative, and you should be reasonable, but when you really implement it, your heart is full of grievances and exhaustion, and you understand your husband, and who can understand you?
Whose understanding are you waiting for in your heart?
It seems like you feel like you can't expect anything but to rely on yourself.
This may be a psychological pattern in your heart, defaulting to the fact that raising children must be very hard, and this hardship can only be borne by yourself, or you will feel in your heart that all the hardships and burdens should be borne by yourself, and others will not be able to help you.
Therefore, when you judge that something must be very hard, you are willing to choose to arrange everyone else and bear it by yourself, but after bearing it, you will unconsciously feel how you are living so tired and so hard, this kind of suffering and tiredness seems to be difficult for others to empathize, and you are lonely and uncomfortable in your heart.
Becoming parents and raising children is the common responsibility of two people, there is hard work and responsibility, but it is also a creative life course completed by the husband and wife, the process is not only hardship, but also the experience of two people working together to go through hardships and overcome difficulties, just like the partners who fight monsters together in the game, there are countless frustration experiences, and there is also more tacit understanding and joy in advancing and retreating together, and every irreplaceable good memory belongs to the husband and wife.
Maybe in the process of raising a child, you don't have to carry all the difficulties on your own.
Maybe you can consider whether he can plan some time to replace you even if staying up late will affect his work during the day?
If he can only watch your hard work and can't put himself in his shoes, this will not only be able to share the feelings and topics of parenting with you, but also deprive him of the life experience he should have when he first became a father.
Human babies have a year-long infancy, which is enough time for parents to participate in it to achieve common growth, and there is a natural intimacy between mother and baby, and the addition of the father will make this intimacy have more security and happiness.
Entering the identity of the father or mother is often a role identity that we gradually perceive after we begin to enter the specific parenting process and begin to participate in a series of affairs such as feeding, sleeping, sleeping, cleaning and hygiene, etc., and also through these specific affairs, our hearts and children's hearts are brought closer to each other, and a more realistic sense of connection is established, which does not only belong to the mother, but also to the father.
Therefore, through the parenting process created and participated by the husband and wife, even if there are often listless and chaotic scenes after staying up late, there must be a feeling of warmth in the heart that is related to each other and supports each other.
——Teacher Liu