Parents all over the world love their children selflessly, greatly, and without asking for anything in return. Therefore, as long as it is beneficial to the growth of the child, parents will give everything for their child.
However, this does not mean that the child will give what he wants, after all, some things are given, which may have a bad impact on the child's growth.
When your children ask you for two things, your parents must know how to refuse, and if you give them, you may become "enemies"
The first thing: ask your parents for money to "save the poor".
There is an old saying in the market, called "emergency does not help the poor", which means that when others need money in an emergency, we can help, but when others need money simply because they are poor, we cannot help.
Why? Let's look at the story of a "poverty alleviation village."
In a remote place, there is a small mountain village, which belongs to a poor village, and it is almost all families in need of help.
Among them, there is a bachelor named Lao Fu, a well-known poor household, not young, not only the family is very poor, not yet married, and at the same time has no father and mother, alone.
One day, the poverty alleviation team came to the mountain village, ready to start changing the current situation of poverty in the mountain village, and after visiting and investigating each family, the poverty alleviation was carried out according to the different conditions of each family.
When he saw that Lao Fu's family was poor and had nothing, he gave Lao Fu a "improvement fund", asking Lao Fu to buy basic supplies at home, improve his life, and find a job to do.
However, after a while, when the poverty alleviation team came to the mountain village for the second time to check the effect of poverty alleviation, they were stunned.
So, the people in the poverty alleviation group asked about this matter suspiciously, it turned out that the old man was lazy by nature, and when the poverty alleviation group left, he used the money to buy wine and meat, and he just ate and drank all day long, and did nothing, and finally wasted the money.
The people in the poverty alleviation group felt that this would not work, and only giving money would not play a role in poverty alleviation, so this time they left a few piglets for Lao Fu, let Lao Fu feed the pigs, and sell them for money to improve their lives when they grow up. The people in the poverty alleviation group thought that this time it would be fine.
As a result, when the poverty alleviation team came to accept the results of poverty alleviation for the third time, it was found that other families had improved their lives through the help of the poverty alleviation group, but the old family was still poor.
When I asked, I found out that as soon as the poverty alleviation team left, Lao Fu killed all the piglets, some of them bought wine to drink, and the rest were eaten......
This is the principle of "emergency not poverty", for the poor, we do not recommend giving money and material help, so when children ask their parents for money to "help the poor", parents must not give.
At this time, some people may ask, where are parents who see their children suffering poor and suffer and do not help?
It should be noted here that when we only say that we do not give money, we do not say that we will not help, and helping children does not mean that we directly give money to our children.
[Advice from Fanfan's mother]: When encountering a situation where children need to "help the poor", in addition to providing certain protective help, the most important thing for parents is to learn to "teach them to fish".
For example, help children find a suitable job, give children some entrepreneurial experience, etc., so that children can use their own hands to create value and improve their lives.
This approach is very correct, and only then can the problem of children's "poverty" be fundamentally solved.
If only money is given, the children will become dependent, and if something is not given one day, the children are likely to turn against their parents.
The second thing: ask your parents for "unnecessary" help
It is normal for a family to help each other, and it is also a harmonious family. But if the child asks his parents for help without limit, many of which are unnecessary, then the parents should refuse.
For example: Xiao Zheng, a neighbor in his hometown, asked his parents to help take care of the children when he had children. At this time, Xiao Zheng and his wife were busy with work, and it was normal for the elderly to help take care of the children.
However, in addition to helping with the children, Xiao Zheng also asked his parents to help clean up the house, help with laundry, help with cooking, and so on.
And Xiao Zheng's parents thought that since their children were busy and they had time, they would help a little bit.
When the children grew up and Xiao Zheng and his wife were no longer busy with work, their parents wanted to go home, but Xiao Zheng and his wife were used to the help of their parents, so they asked the second elder to help take care of the children. Parents see their children's needs and agree.
As a result, in the days that followed, Xiao Zheng asked more and more "help" from his parents, such as children's tuition fees, vehicle cleaning, house repairs, etc., and the second elder was very busy.
After all, the old man is old and in poor health, so he gets sick when he is busy, and when the old man can't help, Xiao Zheng and his wife complain to the second elder, saying that there is no one to clean up at home, no one to pick up the children, and there is no hot meal when they go home from work......
It is understandable for parents to help their children, but if they don't help them right, not only will they not get the gratitude of their children, but they may also turn against them.
[Rice Mom's Suggestion]: When parents receive a message from their child asking for help, they should judge the information to see if this favor is necessary to help.
For example, children are busy with work and have no time to take care of their children, and parents have time at home after retirement and are willing to take care of their children, then they can help their children take care of their children and let them develop better.
However, if the child has the ability and time to take care of the child, then the parents should try not to help with the child.
The fact that the children themselves have the conditions to accomplish something, but ask their parents for help, shows that the children do not "care" about their parents, do not know how to be "grateful", regard their parents as "nannies", and feel that their parents should "use them for their own use".
Therefore, what should be helped and what should not be helped, parents should weigh it clearly, and they must have a scale in their hearts.
Write at the end
No matter how selfless parents love their children, they should also pay attention to the correctness of home education. If it is good for the growth of our children, then we can give, if it is not good for the growth of our children, then we must know how to refuse, we must know what real help is, what is true love, otherwise we may turn our children into our enemies.
(The pictures in this article are all from the Internet, and the infringement will be deleted immediately)