Between men and women, as long as there is no sexual relationship, there is no relationship in essence. Because, the other relationships are not between men and women
The author of this article is Lin Caiyi, vice president of the China Chief Economist Forum Research Institute
Recently, many people have asked me what I think of the "art story" of an 86-year-old painter and his 36-year-old assistant tying the knot? Personally, I think that there is no difference between 86 marrying 36 and 82 marrying 28. So, I took out the old article that commented on the "marriage story of the century" of 82 and 28 18 years ago and reposted it again. Bo everyone smiled. The following is the original text: A woman and a man
Last week, I had dinner with friends and talked about marriage, he said: "If women and men are divided into A, B, C, and D according to their education, property and status, then most of the remaining women in the marriage transaction are women and men, that is, women with high education, high income and high positions have the highest proportion of singles, while men are the opposite, most of the men who cannot marry wives are poor and have a low level of education, this so-called phenomenon of women and men." It would be very interesting to use the concept of "transaction" in economics to interpret the phenomenon of "A Woman and Ding Man". Since Cummins generalized the concept of transaction, the definition of "transaction" has encompassed most behaviors between people, and almost all interest swaps and cost allocations can be summarized by the broad term "transaction". In this life, people will make many transactions, and marriage is nothing more than one of the big transactions. Since marriage is defined as a major transaction, from an economic point of view, it should imply the exchange of interests between the parties and the sharing of costs. Unlike other transactions, the benefits and costs of marriage are related to an important theme, which is sex.
No matter how utilitarian the world is, the due meaning of the relationship between the sexes determines that love charm is an important bargaining chip in marriage transactions, otherwise transactions worth billions of fortunes will not abound. In the most sensational marriage of this century, Yang Zhenning and Weng Fan's pear blossom and begonia are one. Weng Fan, with his 28-year-old age, is a good student, and can step into Professor Yang's door and become his tall feet, and he is naturally a leader among women. If it is A, B, C and D, it should be among the first women. Professor Yang is already old, although there are academic articles behind him, but after all, it is the year of the wind and candle, and the pear blossom can only nourish the eyes of the begonia, no matter how beautiful it is. The essence of marriage is the union of man and woman, not the competition of academic articles and status and fame. (Another friend of mine called Professor Yang a "super man") Regarding this, Weng Fan's father's "deep understanding of righteousness" in the media made people stunned: "Professor Yang, as a scientist, has made great contributions to mankind, and Xiaofan is willing to make sacrifices to take care of Professor Yang's later life, which is a virtue and a glorious ......" He eliminated the core position of gender relations in marriage, and alienated it into a secretary serving the chief, and a maid serving the master's general "care" Even though he also considered marriage without sexual bliss to be a sacrifice, this sacrifice was exalted to him as "virtue" and "honor." Some people say: a twenty-year-old woman is a green orange, which is not good-looking or delicious, a thirty-year-old woman is an apple, which is beautiful and delicious, and a forty-year-old woman is a pineapple, which is not good-looking but delicious. A fifty-year-old woman is a tomato, and it has been debated whether it is considered a fruit, but it can still be eaten. What about men? If you see a lady who can't even "stand up and salute", what qualifications are there to be listed in A, B, C, D, and age, which brings to men not whether they are delicious or not, but whether they can eat or not. This problem is much more serious than "whether it tastes good or not". Of course, marriage is a big deal, and its utility is a weighted combination of multiple interests. If anything, it is the pricing rules, and the gain-loss-cost-benefit function of marriage is determined entirely by the needs and utility of each consumer. "Happiness is your own feeling", and the gains and losses of marriage and love are naturally only known to yourself. The so-called men and women who eat and drink, and think about men and women after food and clothing, this is Maslow's classic theory of needs. Women who do not have the ability to survive independently solve their livelihood through marriage and treat men as food and wardrobes, then female scholars, female presidents, and female politicians who have no worries about food and clothing should seek a combination of yin and yang through the "transaction" of marriage and love. Vibrant, playful men are the greatest effect of marriage. The question is: Do women, like men, dare to face the real needs of their hearts? Can women give a man an objective and fair evaluation of his youth and beauty in a marriage transaction? A phrase that men and women like to love is nothing more than "pursuing spiritual resonance." This year, if you really want to talk about spiritual resonance, on the Internet, you can resonate with MM and GG you don't know anytime and anywhere, if it's not enjoyable, then make a person on the blog (now that the blog is outdated, you can get other self-media, such as public accounts, video accounts, Weibo, headlines, Xiaohongshu), one-to-many, and N readers, "fans" at the same time "resonance", the channel of spiritual resonance has never been a problem in this era of wireless wired networks, it costs a lot of money, and what to do with cumbersome marriage procedures. Lustful and immoral is preaching for men and a fence for women. Li Huiniang in the Yuan drama "Red Plum Pavilion", as a beautiful concubine of the eunuch family, traveled to the lake for a day, and occasionally saw a beautiful young man dancing by, and couldn't help but praise: "Beautiful boy!" The next day, her husband Jia Nidao gouged out her eyes, and the handsome young man Pei Shunqing was also imprisoned. Of course, as far as survival is concerned, today's women will not be gouged out even if they openly flirt with beautiful boys, but they are more willing to shyly calculate men's diplomas, money and status under the veil of "spiritual resonance". So the A girls are single not because she is a A girl, but because there is a problem with the pricing thinking. I remember a friend who was tired of marriage and tried to get rid of it, and his wife felt very aggrieved and felt that she had given her best years for the family and the man, but the other party wanted to quit irresponsibly. Their marriage is youth to beauty, and men have also paid their best years for their families and women. However, the society does not regard men's youth and men's beauty as inputs and costs in marriage, and women's beauty is natural capital, which can be clearly valued in marriage and converted into transaction chips, (such as bride price, such as the name to be free of charge on the other party's real estate certificate...... And men can't, men's youth doesn't seem to be youth, and men's feelings don't seem to be feelings. Men should pay for women's beauty with wealth or something, and moralists coined a term for them called "responsible". Women have never thought to pay for the benefits of men, and men's youth and feelings are free lunches, and they can't make others "responsible" bills. Therefore, when the women of A measure men, they never discounted each other's youth and beauty. The distortion of pricing standards has led to the fact that the hearts of the women are higher than the sky when they weigh the value of men, and they hang themselves on the clouds to hang on to the loneliness of the "high-end". We always miss how brilliant the youth of the twenty-year-old is when we are thirty years old, and when we look back at the thirty-year-old when we look back at the thirty-year-old Shaohua how to nourish it, we always have to wait until the age of sixty to understand that the age of forty is also the verdant years of the universe in the hands and the beauty in the arms. Wealth can be accumulated in the rings, knowledge can be precipitated in the rings, status can be climbed in the rings, only the vitality of youth can disappear irrevocably and silently in the rings. I hope that talented and colored girls will use blue eyes instead of white eyes to look at the shy but vibrant boys around them. Adam and Eve's youthful and red faces are the origin of mankind and the foundation of the relationship between the sexes, after all, marriage is an institutional agreement between the sexes, not a comparison of status, diplomas, and money.
Between men and women, as long as there is no sexual relationship, there is no relationship in essence. Because none of the other relationships are male-female relationships. Therefore, the phenomenon of A woman and a man is not essentially an imbalance between supply and demand between the sexes, but a deviation in the value scale of understanding marriage, a problem of social emotion, and in the final analysis, the alienation of marriage by the values of society itself.
Lin Caiyi
2005-8-21