In married life, we have to face the reality that most of the couples can survive the hardships of their youth together, but they can't enjoy the sweetness of having money together, and finally many people reach middle age, but they embark on the road of divorce.
When people reach middle age, compared with men, the life after divorce is very different, and for those women who enter middle age and choose to enter the marriage hall again, the meaning of marriage and the motivation behind it may be more complicated.
As a 43-year-old second-married woman, after experiencing the ups and downs of life, I finally understand that at this age, most men marry you for these purposes.
01
Thinking back to my second marriage now, it's as if I had stepped into an elaborate game. I met my current husband at a social event, and he was suave and well-behaved, and he quickly won my affection.
As time went on, our relationship gradually warmed up, and we eventually entered the palace of marriage. However, life after marriage was not at all as good as I imagined.
My current husband, his financial situation is not optimistic. Although he has a stable job, the income is not high, and he has a lot of financial pressure. And I, after years of hard work, have accumulated a certain wealth and social status.
He married me largely because of my financial strength. He hopes that through me, he can improve his living situation and reduce his financial burden.
This motivation became apparent soon after I got married. Less than a month after getting married, he began to frequently mention his financial difficulties to me, hoping that I could provide him with more financial support, and as soon as he opened his mouth, he asked me for 500,000 yuan, saying that he wanted to open a restaurant with friends.
In short, since getting married, he no longer cares about my emotions and needs as much as he did before marriage, but more about how much material benefits I can bring him. So, I began to wonder if he really loved me or if he just had a crush on my wallet.
What chilled me even more was that he lacked the respect and care he deserved for my family and friends. He didn't seem to care about my feelings, only his own interests.
I began to realize that the marriage might have been a mistake from the start. He married me not because he really loved him, but because my economic strength could bring him benefits.
02
I am deeply saddened by this reality. I used to think that I would find true happiness when I entered the palace of marriage again, but the reality was completely different.
Marriage should be a process of two people supporting each other and growing together. It should be based on mutual respect, understanding and trust.
However, when marriage is hijacked by money and interests, it loses its original meaning. Such a marriage is destined to be difficult to last.
Eventually, my second marriage ended in divorce.
I don't regret my choice, because every experience is a part of life. But I hope that through my story, I can give some warning to women who are about to enter the palace of marriage.
For those men who only value your financial strength, I would say that their love is not worth your heart. Remember, your value is not just in your wallet, but also in your intelligence, kindness, and independence.
Many times, we have to admit that time is a ruthless knife. When women enter middle age, their youth is gone, their faces are getting older, and their body functions begin to decline gradually. And men who choose to remarry at this age often have more realistic considerations.
They may value your financial strength, perhaps because your stable job can provide him with material security, or because you have rich social experience and network resources, which can help his career and life.
Of course, this is not to say that all middle-aged remarried men are so utilitarian, but such a phenomenon does exist.
Therefore, when a woman enters middle age and is faced with the choice of remarriage, she must keep a clear head and not be confused by superficial sweet words, but to gain an in-depth understanding of the other person's true motives and purposes.
03
So, in the face of the choice of remarriage in middle age, what should women do? I think that first of all, we must have our own bottom line and principles. Don't compromise your values and life pursuits because of age, stress, or other external factors.
Marriage is an important part of life, but it is not the only option. If you don't feel like you're ready to get married again, don't push yourself.
Second, learn to discern the other person's true motives and purposes. Don't be fooled by superficial sweet words, but judge whether he is a trustworthy partner by in-depth understanding of the other person's personality, living habits, values, etc.
In closing, I would like to say that women should maintain self-confidence and self-esteem regardless of their age. Don't feel inferior or anxious because of your age or marital status.
Everyone has their own value and charm, as long as you maintain a positive attitude and an optimistic attitude towards life, you will be able to find your own happiness.
In short, when a woman reaches middle age, if she is divorced, she should be very cautious when remarrying, if it is not because she really has feelings for the other party, she must not easily find a man to make do with it, because you can't afford to lose in the second marriage.