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"Auntie, look at how beautiful the new clothes worn by Xiao Zhang's daughter-in-law are!" My mother-in-law sat on the couch and said to me while watching TV.
"It's pretty beautiful, but you know the situation in our family, and it's okay to dress now. I responded as calmly as I could.
"You're young, you're old-fashioned, like an old woman. My mother-in-law glanced at me, "If you know how to dress like Xiao Zhang's daughter-in-law, your father will have a lot of face in outsiders." "
I was a little angry, but I held back. My mother-in-law's traditional notion of resting on her laurels made me very helpless.
"Auntie, you also know that the price is expensive now, let's save up the money and redecorate the house first. "I tried to convince my mother-in-law.
"Decoration? The mother-in-law waved her hand disapprerovingly, "I want to buy a few new clothes, you can see for yourself, my clothes are almost outdated." "
"Don't quibble, look at people's daughter-in-law Zhang, how considerate they are! Last month, during the Chinese New Year, they bought a few expensive new clothes for their mother-in-law. "
"Auntie, the situation of our family is different from that of Xiao Zhang's family. Besides, no matter how beautiful you look at what people are wearing, it's not necessarily good to be kind. "I tried to defend myself.
"Ouch, don't quibble!" My mother-in-law interrupted me impatiently, "You're just a bad guy, you just don't have the slightest heart." "
The mother-in-law tilted her body, her expression full of disappointment and dissatisfaction. My heart was even heavier.
Just then, the doorbell rang. I went to open the door, it was Aunt Wang who lived next door.
"Oops, you two are arguing again!" Aunt Wang said as soon as she entered the door.
"There was no quarrel, it was just a small disagreement. I explained, but I was a little unhappy.
"Differences need to be communicated well. Aunt Wang made a gesture, "You young people are just too willful and not very sensible." Your mother-in-law's request is nothing more than to dress up decently, so you can agree to her request. "
I frowned, a little unhappy that Aunt Wang was also on my mother-in-law's side. However, out of politeness, I still politely refused: "Auntie, you also know the economic situation of our family, and now we are really unable to make ends meet." "
"Ouch, don't quibble!" Aunt Wang said in her mother-in-law's tone.
"What are you arguing about? You're a poor sour, and you're as virtuous as your father!" The mother-in-law's tone became very mean, "You are a little family, short-sighted, how can you look at the elegant temperament of Xiao Zhang's daughter-in-law!"
My heart was pierced deeply. My mother-in-law's words are undoubtedly a great insult to my personality. My face turned red and tears flowed uncontrollably.
"Auntie, how can you say that about me?" I choked up, my tone full of grievances, "I've always done my best for you. "
"Do your best?" The mother-in-law sneered, "What kind of dedication do you have?
As she spoke, my mother-in-law waved me away. My heart was half cold, and tears flowed even more. I felt helpless and angry like never before.
I silently think back to the years I married into this family. It's true that I'm more frugal, but I also do my best. I've never asked anyone for anything, I just want to be recognized for my efforts.
Now, however, it seems that all my efforts have been in vain. My mother-in-law didn't understand me at all, and she didn't want to understand my situation and thoughts. She just rested on her laurels and asked me to cater to hers.
Just as I was in a deep reflection, Aunt Wang came over again.
"Hey, why are you two arguing again?" Aunt Wang said loudly as soon as she entered the door.
I wiped my tears and didn't answer.
"Don't be willful, listen to your mother-in-law. Aunt Wang persuaded, "Mother-in-law's request is also very reasonable, you young people are too willful." "
I frowned and looked at Aunt Wang. Although she had good intentions, I was a little disgusted by her casual meddling in other people's household affairs.
"Auntie, it's better for you to worry less about our family's affairs. I said it categorically.
"Ouch, how do you talk!" Aunt Wang shook her head, "I'm all for your good." Don't be willful, just listen to your mother-in-law and buy a few new clothes. "
I rolled my eyes and ignored her. I don't think Auntie Wang understands the actual situation of our family at all, and her advice will only complicate things.
Just when Aunt Wang and I were at a stalemate, my mother-in-law suddenly rushed out of the living room, her face pale.
"What are you talking about here?" My mother-in-law crossed her hands on her hips and glared at us.
"Hmph, are you two gossiping about me again?" My mother-in-law stared at me, her eyes full of anger, "You unfilial son, you are even stingy to buy me a few clothes, are you going to kick me out of the house?"
I was startled by my mother-in-law's roar, and I was suddenly very unconfident.
"What are you? Are you just treating my old bones as a burden to your family?" The mother-in-law's voice became louder, "Do you look down on me as an old woman?
My mother-in-law's questioning seemed to push me into a corner, and I panicked. Tears flowed uncontrollably.
"Auntie, don't be angry. Aunt Wang hurriedly wanted to dissuade her mother-in-law, but was severely reprimanded by her mother-in-law.
"Don't meddle! The mother-in-law glared angrily at Aunt Wang.
I looked at the thunderous mother-in-law in front of me, and my heart suddenly swelled with unprecedented courage. The grievances and dissatisfaction with her for many years erupted at this moment as if ignited by a burst of anger.
"Auntie, don't do this!" I shouted, "I'm your daughter-in-law, and I'm no one else, why are you scolding me like this?"
My mother-in-law was shocked by my loud shouting and was silent for a while.
"Yes, I really didn't buy you new clothes, because you know the financial situation of our family. I said categorically, "But why do you belittle me and insult me like this?
At this point, tears welled up in my eyes again. Years of grievances seem to have found an outlet, and they erupt at this moment.
"Am I not worthy of this family? Am I just an 'unfilial son'? Do you look down on me like this?" I cried and asked my mother-in-law, "I have given so much, is this how you repay me?"
My mother-in-law was frightened by my pain and was stunned and at a loss. Even Aunt Wang was stunned by my outburst.
"That's what you see of me?" I choked up, my tone full of accusations, "Okay, then I'll leave this house!
With that, I turned and prepared to leave. Aunt Wang hurriedly came up and grabbed me.
Just when Aunt Wang wanted to stop us, my mother-in-law suddenly fell silent. She stared at me tightly, the anger in her eyes subsided. Instead, there was a look of complexity that I had never seen before.
I was taken aback by my mother-in-law's transformation and froze in place for a moment. The tears were still flowing uncontrollably, but my mood gradually calmed down.
The mother-in-law slowly sat back on the sofa, her head bowed and silent. The atmosphere became very strange for a while, and even Aunt Wang was shocked by this solemn atmosphere.
I looked at my mother-in-law suspiciously, puzzled. Just a moment ago, she had been roaring about kicking me out of the house, but now she was suddenly silent, as if in some deep contemplation.
Just when I was feeling guilty, my mother-in-law suddenly spoke, breaking the silence in the room.
Speaking of this, the mother-in-law's tears finally burst out of her eyes. She lowered her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.
I was so shocked that I froze in place, unable to move as if I had been nailed to the ground.
They come from a more traditional era and have completely different values and outlook on life than we do. Their expectations for their children are often not just material requirements, but hope that their children can give them spiritual comfort, understand them with their hearts, and care for them.
It is this generation gap that has caused the estrangement and contradiction between me and my mother-in-law. I was so attached to reality that I neglected to be considerate of my mother-in-law's needs. My mother-in-law, on the other hand, tried to guide me and test me in an old-fashioned way, but in exchange for my disgust and incomprehension.
The seemingly excessive demands of her mother-in-law actually stem from an obsession with tradition in her heart. In her concept, a daughter-in-law should be considerate and filial to her mother-in-law, and should not be too rational and realistic.
In retrospect, the reason why my mother-in-law would talk about others was actually hinting at me in her way, hoping that I would be as considerate and thoughtful as "someone's daughter-in-law". And her "vexatiousness" is just trying to test my filial piety.
This traditional concept undoubtedly seems a bit outdated and outdated in modern society. However, if we think about it from a different perspective, this notion is actually not unreasonable.
Even in the face of material constraints, we should be considerate of our parents' needs, rather than blindly rejecting them with reason and reality. Even if it seems to be an untimely request, we should be considerate of the intent, rather than directly denying it.
As my mother-in-law said, she doesn't really care so much about whether she buys new clothes or not, she just hopes that I can take the initiative to think about her and express my filial piety to her with practical actions. This traditional concept of filial piety is actually not so old and unreasonable.
In addition to the generation gap and traditional concepts, this conflict also made me realize the importance of maintaining good neighborly relations.
At first, Aunt Wang's intervention certainly disgusted me. But from another point of view, she is just out of good intentions and hopes that our mother and son will be harmonious.
Everything in front of me was like a slap in the face, and it woke me up fiercely from the confusion of a young man. I began to reflect on my mother-in-law's practices, those "excessive" demands in the eyes of others, but they originated from the most simple expectations in her heart for her children.
A strong sense of guilt and self-blame welled up in my heart. I realized that my understanding of my mother-in-law's requirements was very skewed. I always interpret her approach as vexatious, ignoring her deeper desires.
I began to hate myself for being impulsive and self-willed. How I hurt my mother-in-law! She just wanted to test my filial piety in a traditional way, but in exchange for my doubts and accusations. My hurtful words must have pierced her heart deeply.
Seeing my mother-in-law's painful appearance, I finally made up my mind, walked to her side, and knelt down.
"Auntie, it's all my fault. I choked up and spoke, "I misunderstood your intentions, I hurt you willfully, I'm really sorry." "
The mother-in-law raised her head, her eyes dark and complicated. She didn't speak, just looked at me quietly.
"I should be considerate of your heart's desires, not my own way. My tears fell, "You hope that I can treat you with my heart and express my filial piety to you with practical actions, instead of being indifferent to reason." "
At this point, I couldn't control my emotions anymore and burst into tears: "I don't live up to your expectations of me, I'm not doing well enough." You can punish me however you want, I just ask you to forgive me for being an unfilial daughter-in-law. "
The mother-in-law's eyes finally softened. She reached out and patted me on the head as if to comfort me.
"Silly boy, you're already fine. The mother-in-law's voice choked, "It's my old man's way that is too blunt, which makes you misunderstand." "
At that moment, it was as if I had been reborn. My mother-in-law did not blame me, but comforted me. I realized that conflicts often arise from a lack of mutual understanding on both sides. As long as you communicate with your heart, you will definitely find a way to resolve it.
"It's me who is too headstrong to turn a blind eye to your kindness. I said sincerely, "You are out of traditional ideas, and I hope that I can express filial piety with practical actions, instead of being indifferent." I should be considerate of your intentions, not as vexatious. "
My mother-in-law nodded and motioned for me to continue.
"There is nothing wrong with your traditional notions of filial piety to your parents, what is wrong is that our generation of young people is too realistic and ignores the desires of their parents' hearts. I said firmly, "When you ask me to buy new clothes, you want me to take the initiative to think about you, not wait for you to ask." I should appreciate this meaning with my heart, not just at the surface. "
Speaking of this, my heart suddenly opened up. I finally understood my mother-in-law's intentions and understood my mistakes. This contradiction arises precisely because of the generation gap and conceptual differences between us. As long as we communicate and understand each other, we will be able to resolve differences and find consensus.
"In the future, I will definitely be considerate of you and strive to practice traditional filial piety. I said sincerely, "You also need to be more forgiving to us young people and communicate with us in a more straightforward way." Only by understanding each other and being considerate of each other can we truly come together. "
Seeing this, Aunt Wang on the side finally put her mind at ease. She clapped her hands and sighed sincerely: "Hey, seeing that you mother and son have finally spoken, it also reassures me." "
I turned my head and looked at Aunt Wang with some embarrassment. As a young man, I really didn't do well enough in this conflict. Thankfully, our mother and son were able to resolve their differences, and I learned valuable life lessons from them.
"Yes, Auntie, if it weren't for your persuasion, our mother and son might not be able to stalemate. I said sincerely, "I understand your kindness, and I will strive to be a good and filial daughter-in-law in the future." "
Aunt Wang smiled and shook her head: "What am I, the matter between your mother and son, or you communicate well are the most important." However, you should also reflect on why this generation gap and estrangement arises. "
I nodded, and I was sincerely grateful to Aunt Wang. It was her appearance that made our mother and son not do anything unreasonable when they were tense. Although she is only a neighbor, she plays a mediating role at a critical moment.
"You young people need to learn to understand the thinking of the older generation, who come from a more traditional era and naturally think differently than we do. Aunt Wang said seductively, "And your mother-in-law's side should also communicate with the juniors in a more straightforward way, not always in a test way." "
"You're right, Auntie. I said sincerely, "We will definitely remember this lesson, communicate with our hearts, understand each other, and truly come together." "