Back then, Bai Yansong was in his prime, and with his excellent hosting skills and profound and unique views, he became the first brother of CCTV in the minds of the national audience.
Many of the news programs he hosted have created ratings miracles, instantly attracting countless eyeballs, however, what is little known is that this brilliant host is suffering from endless illness behind the camera.
While his career is rising rapidly, the pressure he is facing is also gradually increasing. Every wording, every subtle change in expression, can be over-interpreted, which can lead to a storm of online violence and personal attacks.
In 2015, when he was reporting on a shooting, he inadvertently used the word "death", which was immediately strongly criticized by netizens and even demanded a public apology.
Just because of a simple word, it caused such a huge controversy, Bai Yansong's mood at that time can be imagined. During the 2016 Rio Olympics, he made a blunt comment on Australian swimmer Houghton's insult to China's Sun Yang, which once again caused a heated discussion on the Internet.
Those piercing insults, like thunder in his ears, hit his nerves all the time. As a veteran journalist, he is well aware that his every move will be widely watched and strictly supervised by the society, which is the responsibility and pressure entrusted to him by his profession.
The pressure followed, and finally showed obvious symptoms on Bai Yansong's body. He began to suffer from severe insomnia and could barely sleep for 3 to 4 hours a night.
The chronic lack of sleep left him in a state of extreme anxiety and depression.
His appetite has also almost disappeared, and he can only rely on forced food to meet the most basic needs of life. The threat of disease was further exacerbated by a 50-pound drop in weight and malnutrition.
Seeing his health deteriorating day by day, Bai Yansong's heart was full of fear, as if he had returned to that dark time.
During that time, he lost interest in everything around him, and even found it difficult to open up to his colleagues and loved ones for in-depth communication.
He once frankly said in the "Dialogue" program that he was deeply troubled by depression and even had the idea of ending his life many times.
Now, the shadow has fallen again, which makes Bai Yansong feel worried and painful.
Bai Yansong's growth process is full of hardships and twists and turns, as if to indicate that the tricks of fate will accompany his every step and run through every stage of his life.
Born in the countryside of Inner Mongolia, this young man was once the only child in his family, and he experienced loneliness and loneliness, as if he had been deliberately arranged by the god of fate.
When Bai Yansong was still very young, his father unfortunately passed away, leaving his mother alone with hard work and taking on the responsibility of raising him and his brother's two children alone.
In those difficult times, life was like a long and fierce war, full of endless challenges.
Bai Yansong's family is poor, and it is difficult to solve even the basic problem of food and clothing. In order to survive, he had to travel more than ten kilometers every day to fetch water, and when his brother left his hometown to study, all the housework was on his young shoulders.
His mother was extremely strict with Bai Yansong's discipline, and often used violence against him for various reasons, as if all the pain and helplessness were poured into him.
Whether he was poor in his studies or mischievous, his mother would punish him mercilessly.
Whenever he recalls that time, Bai Yansong's eyes always reveal a deep melancholy, as if he can still feel the helplessness and pain of that year.
During his studies at Beijing Broadcasting Institute, Bai Yansong also experienced many setbacks and difficulties. He came from a poor background, and most of his classmates came from wealthy families in the city, and this huge gap deepened his inferiority complex.
During his four years of college, he rarely socialized with people, always lived alone, and wore a pair of sunglasses to hide his inferiority complex and insecurity.
After graduating from college, Bai Yansong was confused for a while. During his internship at Radio International, he was expecting a full-fledged job, but the reality was a ruthless refusal.
However, Bai Yansong did not give up because of this, but strengthened his belief. With his unremitting efforts and perseverance, he finally succeeded in entering the long-cherished CCTV.
However, he was assigned a position in charge of scheduling programs at China Broadcasting News magazine, which was far from his original dream.
In the face of the ridicule of fate, Bai Yansong did not flinch. He worked hard and hard, and finally won the recognition of the leaders and ushered in a new chapter in his life.
As a young talent with great dreams and top ambitions, Bai Yansong is desperate to have a vast and boundless stage for him to show his talents.
However, the ruthless reality is always cruel beyond people's imagination, and he has to wrestle repeatedly and get up as if he is on the track of life, so as to gradually struggle to get closer to the seemingly unattainable ideal in his heart.
Bai Yansong's first career started as an intern at an international radio station. He threw himself wholeheartedly into it, looking forward to the good news of being officially hired.
However, the final result was extremely disappointing, the radio station did not reserve any official positions for him, which undoubtedly extinguished the faint hope that had just broken ground, and Bai Yansong's mood at that time must have been painful.
However, he did not choose to give up because of this, but resolutely continued to move forward on the path of resume submission and interviewing, despite repeated setbacks.
Fortunately, Bai Yansong learned that CCTV was recruiting talents, so he mustered up all his courage and participated in this fateful interview.
Thankfully, he managed to win admission. However, on the day when Bai Yansong happily came to report, he was flatly refused, simply because someone had reported some of his past behaviors to the organization department with his real name.
Faced with this sudden and heavy blow, Bai Yansong almost fell into the abyss of despair. However, he did not collapse because of this, but did his best to clear his grievances with incomparably strong perseverance and determination.
He mobilized all possible evidence and witnesses, and rode his bicycle between the General Administration of Radio and Television, 50 kilometers away, every day, and in order to solve the problem of food and clothing, he could only rely on one meal a day to feed himself.
It was precisely because of Bai Yansong's perseverance that the director was finally moved by his perseverance and decided to give him, a young man, a rare opportunity.
However, the work assigned to him was the work of the "China Broadcasting News" magazine, and the main responsibility was to arrange the program schedule, which was far from his original ideals.
Although Bai Yansong has shown extraordinary maturity and perseverance since he was a child, fate has tested him too harshly.
In 1992, a series of difficulties and tribulations plunged him into a long period of depression.
At that moment, only a strong thought lingered in Bai Yansong's mind - seeking relief from death, as if all hope had disappeared, and the future seemed vague, like ethereal dust and smoke.
Compared to the end of life, life is like a heavy burden on the shoulders, overwhelming people and making people feel endless despair.
In that dark and hopeless time, depression was like a nightmare, tightly wrapped around Bai Yansong. He couldn't sleep peacefully, and his insomnia was getting worse and worse.
In order to maintain his strength, he could only barely sleep for three to four hours a day, and his mental state was naturally extremely exhausted.
What's even more terrifying is that the pressure of life has caused him to completely lose his craving for food, and his weight has plummeted by more than 50 pounds, and malnutrition has further exacerbated the threat of disease.
Seeing his once healthy and energetic self gradually losing weight, Bai Yansong's deep pain and despair in his heart are undoubtedly indescribable. The shadow of depression hung over him for five years.
During this long period of time, he had suicidal thoughts many times, feeling that life had no meaning and only endless pain.
However, just when Bai Yansong was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, a great classic revealed the true meaning of life and philosophical wisdom for him.
In a moment of confusion and helplessness, he happened to read Zeng Guofan's famous saying, "The flowers are not fully bloomed and the moon is not full", which made him suddenly realize.
"The ancients' flowers are not fully bloomed and the moon is not full' is regarded as the way to borrow blessings, and the method of protecting Tai can be described as exquisite. This sentence was like a dawn, dispelling the darkness in his heart and rekindling his vision and expectation of a better life.
Since then, Bai Yansong seems to have rediscovered the meaning and value of life. He began to overcome his inner fears and worries, and gradually came out of the haze of depression.
Although the road ahead is still tortuous and difficult, at least he has found a clue to guide the way, which has become the starting point for getting out of the predicament and regaining the light.