There are more than 10 days left before the May Day holiday, I don't know how you arrange it? I made an appointment with a few friends to take advantage of the long holiday to go out for a long time. If someone tells me now, "You are not allowed to go out to play on May Day, what are you going to do if you stay at home?" then I will definitely turn against that person. I swiped a post like this today, and I was so aggrieved that I was panicked!
▽The owner of the post is in Changsha, and last week he and his sister booked a ticket hotel to Qingdao on May Day. The raiders made clothes and bought them, so it can be said that everything is ready and only owe it to go out and have a good time. Suddenly, her mother called her and told her that a relative was going to come to Changsha to play (the relatives' hotel tickets were booked), and asked the poster if he had time on May Day?
Note that the subtext of "having time" is: have time to invite relatives to dinner, and then take relatives around Changsha to have fun (including the kind of round-trip fare for attraction tickets)!
▽ After learning that the poster was going to Qingdao on May Day, and the poster's husband was going back to his hometown, her mother's tone was wrong. My mother said, "You are really willing to spend money", "You value your friends, but you look down on your relatives", and she said, "It costs thousands to go out to play, and you take out these thousands to invite relatives to dinner, relatives don't know how happy they are, I don't know how happy they are"... Anyway, her mother said all kinds of things, she had to let the owner refund the ticket to Qingdao, and stay in Changsha to entertain relatives on May Day.
▽But when the poster mentioned that 3,000 yuan would be deducted for the refund, and the money would be reimbursed by the mother, the mother began to play the emotional card: how much the relatives value the poster, why is the poster so impersonal. No matter what, you have to invite your relatives to dinner, it's not enough to just pay for it, people have to go! If the owner of the post is not free, then let the husband of the owner of the post invite, anyway, there must be a representative at home to entertain relatives in person.
The poster felt very uncomfortable. She thinks that her mother is just for her own face, unscrupulously mocking and PUA herself. But what bothered her was that after so many years, she seemed to have become accustomed to her mother treating herself in this way.
➤ "Mom said that relatives are her most important people, no matter how good I am to her or bad to my relatives, she is not comfortable".
I was speechless and helpless when I saw this sentence! For children, their mothers are the most important people to them. But the mother of the post owner said that relatives are her most important people, and the child is not filial to herself, and she has to be filial to her relatives?
➤ I know that some people from my parents' generation will indeed take kinship very seriously. In order to gain a good reputation of "generosity" and "enthusiasm" in front of relatives, in order to save face, I would rather wronged myself and my children. There are really examples of this around me.
▽ My sister of a relative's family got married last year, and when she returned to the door in the first month, she took cigarettes, alcohol and gifts to her relatives. There is a family in the village that is related to their family but not close to each other (the relationship between the grandparents and the upper generation, the kind that usually doesn't move around), and this sister didn't give gifts to that family. After all, tobacco and alcohol are not cheap, and the family conditions of my sister's husband who married far away are not very good.
Soon this was known by my sister's parents, and the old couple became furious, scolded my sister for being ignorant and embarrassed them, and threw all the things that my sister brought back to her parents' house outside the house. My sister went back to her parents' house in the morning and was driven back without even eating lunch.
➤ This is also what I heard my mom say later. Because my parents also have a lot of brothers and sisters in the family, and the relationship between our family is also very complicated. Since I was a child, they didn't let me be wronged for my relatives, but they did wronged themselves.
My mother often said that young people of my generation have a weak sense of kinship, and they really don't understand the relationship with their relatives. I'll admit she's telling the truth, but I don't think it's like there's anything wrong with young people these days.
▽ Like my mother and my grandmother, the two generations lived in an era of material scarcity, and the living conditions were not good, and the family could not afford a major event. In this case, many families rely on this relative to help and that relative to pull it, and everyone helps each other to come over.
My mother also said many times that when she gave birth to me, there was nothing to eat at home, relying on my aunt to send brown sugar eggs, my second aunt to send longan, and my aunt to send milk powder, so I made do with the confinement.
Because of these love bases in the snow, my mother and my aunts are really close, and the relationship is really good!
▽But it's different in my generation. There is no shortage of food and clothing in my family, and kinship has become the icing on the cake for me. I am naturally willing to move around more with relatives who come from all over the world, but when I meet relatives who are not familiar with me, especially those who are not of good character, I think more about my own feelings, and naturally I don't care so much. If I really have to worry about anything, it's because I'm worried about my parents' feelings, not about my own face.
➤ For kinship, it may be difficult to change the ideas and behaviors of the parents' generation. As juniors, we can follow our parents, but we must have a bottom line in our hearts. Kindness should be given to the right people, and giving should be a two-way street.