When we make amends, it's easy to focus on our exes.
You can think about it, in the process of recovery, do you often do this: your ex replies to you, you are very happy, and if your ex does not reply to you, you are extremely disappointed and feel that there is no hope of recovery.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
Not only when it is redeemed, but we often make such mistakes when we are in love, we always pin our feelings on each other.
I want you to understand that what you feel is your own subjective behavior, and it has nothing to do with how your ex treats you.
Let's take a simple example:
Let's say you're out on a night when you can't see your fingers, and because there's a pit in front that you don't see, you don't pay attention and fall.
At this time, if I tell you that you are walking looking at the point, you fall down to find yourself the reason.
You must not be angry, because it was so dark that day, you really couldn't see anything, and you would only scold me, saying that I would say cool things, not objective.
But I still want to tell you today that you still have to find your own reasons, because from the time you were fallen, to the time you were ridiculed by me, to the time you felt very wronged, all of these things are your own feelings, so you have to be responsible for all this.
If the road is not smooth, you have to think about why you have to go out in the middle of the night, or why you don't bring a flashlight, or why you don't take a hit, etc., you can only avoid falling next time if you find the problem.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
Returning to our topic of redemption, many people say, who made my ex so cold to me, isn't it normal for me to be sad? This idea is actually not normal, because it is your business that your ex is cold to you, and it is your own business to make yourself sad, and there is no causal relationship between the two, and you have to be entangled.
I want you to have more control over your lives.
If you want to reconcile with your ex, that's your business, it's your own subjective behavior, not something that the other party has to cooperate.
So under normal circumstances, the other party wants to block you, the other party wants to delete you, and don't contact you, that's all TA business, you only need to do your own thing, what you have to do is to make the other party have a sense of need for you, not for you to contribute to your own sense of need.
If you reply to your messages, you will be happy all day, and if you don't reply to your messages, you will be sad all day, you just revolve around each other all day long, where is your control over your own life?
What you have to think about is that you provide the value you have to the other party, then you are the donor of this value, you are standing in a high position, and one day you don't want to provide it, then it is the other party who is sad, you are in a high position.
People who can really reconcile are people who take the initiative to control their own lives, they know what kind of love they want, they know how to make each other happy, they can make each other sad, they know how to mobilize other people's emotions, and how to control their emotions, these can be mastered, and they can naturally get back together as soon as possible.
Xiaoyu said to redeem
If you don't have the ability to do so, and you are only reconciled by your old feelings, then it will be easy for you to separate again.
If you really want to reconcile, the first thing you have to do is to have control over yourself, you can control yourself, and you will have the ability to deal with other things, and your recovery will be smooth.
Finally, I would like to remind everyone that if you want to redeem yourself, the right direction is to focus on yourself.
#前任##挽回##失恋#