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My name is Li Xuemei, I am 48 years old, and I have been working as an administrative clerk in a company for more than 20 years. I have an only daughter named Xiaoyu, who just turned 22 this year and is studying in college. My marriage with my husband, Mr. Zhang, has always been stable, but there are always some minor contradictions.
My monthly pension is only 6,000 yuan, and I have to take out 2,000 yuan to support my mother, and my husband and I will not be able to make ends meet. However, if I don't do this, I am afraid that the whole family will accuse me of being an "unfilial daughter". Traditions are deeply rooted, and what do I do?
"Wife, what do you think we should do this month? I said to my husband, Mr. Zhang.
"I know, but traditionally, daughters are supposed to support the elderly, and if they don't, they will be looked down upon by their relatives. I sighed.
"Then let them see!" The husband was a little angry, "We are already very poor, and we still have to be talked about? Can't you listen to what people say?"
My husband's words made me ponder. Yes, we are really struggling to get by. We are all ordinary migrant workers with limited income, and we are already overwhelmed by living expenses, mortgages, and our daughter's tuition fees.
I was tormented by the traditional notion of responsibility on the one hand, and the economic pressures of reality on the other. What do I do? I was deeply troubled.
The husband, Mr. Zhang, insisted on not giving alimony to his mother.
"Wife, did you hear your mother? She doesn't want our alimony. He said.
"But what if she regrets it in the future, what if she gets seriously ill and needs money?" I hesitated.
"Then let's wait until that happens! Now that we can't even afford to live on our own, where is the extra money to have?" He shook his head, "Don't worry about it all the time. "
Although my husband said this, I still couldn't rest assured. I am deeply rooted in the traditional belief that my daughter is the iron hoof of the family and will have to support her parents in the future. But real life is so embarrassing, we can't take out 2,000 yuan at all.
My heart was struggling and aching.
Once, when our family was reunited, a distant relative said to me, "I heard that you don't plan to support your mother?
"With your meager income, you don't want to think about how to support the elderly! Your mother serves you as a child, and you repay her like this? It's too unusual!" The relative said.
Other relatives also chimed in: "Yes, my daughter is not filial, it's too much to say!"
I was ashamed, tears rolling in my eyes. How can they accuse me like that? I'm helpless!
One day, my mother, Mrs. Zhang, suddenly came to my house.
"Mom, why are you here?" I said in surprise.
"I'm here to ask you, when are you going to give me the money?" The mother's face was gloomy.
"What money? Didn't you say you didn't need me to support you?"
"That's my politeness! You are my daughter, and you should do your duty to support you! But you can't even take out 2,000 yuan, do you want me to wander around with this old bone?" Mother said angrily.
"Explain what? You're an unfilial girl! I served you big, but you did this to me!" My mother angrily interrupted me.
The arrival of the mother caused dissatisfaction among the whole family.
"It's too unbelievable for you to be a daughter!" My sister scolded me, "Mom serves you big, but you can't even get 2,000 yuan in alimony!"
"I really misread you!" The brother-in-law also said, "You usually behave so filtily, but I didn't expect to be so selfish in private!"
Even her daughter Xiaoyu cast a disappointed look: "Mom, how can you be like this to your grandmother?"
I am ashamed of myself. How can they accuse me like that? I'm so embarrassed!
Just when I was blamed by the whole family, my mother, Mrs. Zhang, stood up and helped me.
"Don't talk about it!" Mother said, "It was my capriciousness, first saying that I didn't want money, and then I asked for money, which made Xuemei very difficult." This is mainly my fault. "
"No, it's just my fault. The mother said solemnly, "Xuemei and the others are really very poor, how can I force her to come up with alimony? As a mother, I should be considerate of her difficulties." "
"Then what will you do in the future? How can you live without support?" My sister asked.
"I have you and your brother-in-law here, haven't you been supporting me? The mother said, "Xuemei and they are so poor, I can't embarrass them anymore." "
My mother's words made me feel guilty. Yes, although I am financially constrained, my sister and brother-in-law have been supporting my mother, and I can't even think of that. How selfish I am!
"Xuemei, you don't have to blame yourself like this. My mother comforted me, "It's not easy for you, you have to pay for your daughter's schooling and pay off the mortgage, and your life is so stressful." I understand your difficulties and don't blame you. "
Seeing that I sincerely confessed my mistakes to my mother, the family was also relieved.
"Xuemei, you're too pitiful. The sister said, "We haven't experienced your predicament, so we have no right to blame you." "
"Yes, if you have to pay for your children's education and repay the loan, your life is really not easy. The brother-in-law nodded.
Even Xiaoyu said: "Mom, you have worked very hard, I will study hard and make money to support you in the future." "
The family is finally back together, understanding and understanding each other.
Life in the world, no matter how much suffering you experience, as long as there is love, everything is fine. My family is small, but because of love, I am happy.
This incident made me deeply realize that traditional ideas are important, but they also need to be adapted to the times. We live in a fast-paced modern society with a lot of economic pressure, and many times we simply don't have time to take care of tradition.
Supporting one's parents is certainly a filial duty, but if the family is really poor, it cannot be forced. After all, modern society is different from ancient times, and filial piety also needs to keep pace with the times. It is difficult to completely unify traditional concepts and real life, and we must learn to balance the two and make reasonable choices.
More importantly, family members should understand and be considerate of each other. We need to resolve conflicts with love and patience, rather than arbitrarily blaming each other. Only by treating each other with love can families live in harmony.
The ancients said that "filial piety is the first" and "filial piety is the first", which shows the important position of filial piety in the tradition. However, in ancient times, the pace of life was slow, the family economy was relatively well-off, and people had enough energy and financial resources to support their parents.
In modern society, people are working hard for their livelihoods, and financial constraints are the norm. In such a situation, it is a bit out of touch with reality to reluctantly ask children to support their parents.
I am not denying filial piety, but I believe that the connotation of filial piety needs to keep pace with the times. Material support is important, but spiritual support is also indispensable. As long as the children do their best and treat their parents with love, even if they are temporarily unable to provide material support, parents should be considerate.
Family harmony is one of life's great blessings. Only by understanding each other, being considerate of each other, and resolving conflicts with love, can family members love each other and be happy.
If there is a lack of understanding and tolerance among family members, and they always accuse each other arbitrarily, then the family will fall into a cold war and the conflict will become more and more intense. A home that lacks warmth is destined to be unhappy.
I was once accused by my family of being an "unfilial girl", and my heart was tormented. Fortunately, thanks to the mother's intervention, the family finally understood each other's situation, and the conflict was resolved.
This incident has made me deeply realize that family members should treat each other with love, rather than arbitrary accusations. Only by understanding and tolerating each other can families live in harmony and be happy.
Since then, I have never been accused of "unfilial piety". My mother was supported by my sister and brother-in-law, and we concentrated on living our own lives. Although the economy is still tight, at least we don't have to worry about alimony anymore.
Sometimes I would visit my mother and talk about family life. My mother always said happily: "Xuemei, you can live your own life well, and when the child grows up in the future, she will support me." "
Yes, although support is a kind of filial piety, it is more important to treat family members with love. We need to understand and be considerate of each other, and resolve conflicts with love, so that families can live in harmony.
When Xiaoyu grew up, she was admitted to university as she wished and started a new stage of her life. Although she was under a lot of pressure to study, she never forgot her filial piety to her mother.
Every holiday, Xiaoyu will take time to go home, chat with her grandmother, and take care of her daily life. Sometimes she would give her grandmother a beating on her back and rubbing her shoulders, which made her feel extremely warm.
"Grandma, just wait for me to graduate and work to make money, and I will definitely give you alimony when the time comes. Xiaoyu always said that.
The mother smiled and said, "Silly child, you should study hard, and if you have a career in the future, you can live a good life by yourself." "
I saw it in my eyes, and my heart was extremely gratified. Seeing my daughter so filial, I feel that my hard work back then was not in vain.
In this way, the years passed quietly. In the blink of an eye, my mother was 80 years old. My sister and brother-in-law took care of her daily life as always, while Xiaoyu and I did our best to give spiritual care and companionship.
One day, my mother said to me happily: "Xuemei, I am so happy that my old bones have survived to this day." With you good children by my side and caring for me, I have nothing to regret in my old age. "
I nodded repeatedly, my eyes moist. Yes, although our family once had conflicts over alimony, we finally resolved the differences with love through mutual understanding and consideration.
Now, our family is happy, but it doesn't matter whether we support it or not. The important thing is that we treat each other with love and do our best to care for our families, which is the root of happiness.
Life in the world, no matter how much suffering you experience, as long as there is love, everything is fine. My family is small, but because of love, I am happy. This happiness is the greatest pursuit and gift of my life.