My name is Zhang Ming, I am 28 years old and I am an engineer. My wife Li Ting and I have been married for 3 years, and although we get along very well, because of the different concepts of our families, there will be some bumps and bumps occasionally. Li Ting currently works in an advertising agency, with a more stable income than mine, and her parents are typical traditional families, with many requirements and controls over their daughter's mate selection and family life.
Our journey from falling in love to getting married can be said to be magnificent. Li Ting's parents were very distrustful of me as an "outsider", thinking that I was not stable enough, did not have my own career, and did not understand the importance of family. It wasn't until I had a certain level of success in my work that I slowly accepted me. But even so, they still have a strong voice and desire to control their daughter's life. This is also the root cause of the conflicts between our two families.
A few days ago, our family gathered at Li Ting's parents' house for dinner. After the meal, Li Ting's father suddenly said to me, "Ming, I have something I want to discuss with you." "My heart tightened, and I knew that family conflicts were about to start again.
"Say it, Dad. I tried to keep my tone as calm as possible.
"You know, our family has always been about helping each other. As a family, everyone's income should be used by the family. Li Ting's father said, his eyes signaled to Li Ting, who had been silent.
I chuckled and guessed what he was going to say. Sure enough, he continued: "So, I hope you can hand over your salary card to Li Ting for safekeeping, so that she can better arrange the family's expenses." "
I was speechless and didn't know how to answer. Of course I understand his intentions, but this is undoubtedly a huge violation for me. Both of us should have our own income at our disposal, rather than being passively handed over to someone else to manage.
Seeing my embarrassment, Li Ting hurriedly explained: "Dad, this is not appropriate." Ming and I both have our own income and expenditure arrangements, and we can also manage our family expenses well. You don't have to worry. "
Li Ting's father frowned: "Isn't this the obligation of family members? As a daughter, you should also abide by the family rules." "
"Dad, I understand your thoughts, but every family's situation is different. My way of life is different from that of your generation, and we are more focused on personal financial independence. You can trust us to take care of your household expenses. Li Ting patiently explained.
What's more, both of us earned our income through our own efforts, so why should we hand it all over to someone else? This not only affected my self-esteem, but also made me feel distrusted by my family. I understand that Li Ting's parents have good intentions, but this practice is undoubtedly violating our rights.
I glanced at Li Ting, who had been silent on the side, her brows were also slightly furrowed, obviously uncomfortable with her father's request. I know that it is not easy to convince Li Ting's father, because in their opinion, this is a family rule that cannot be violated. However, I also don't want to compromise and abandon my principles.
I'm afraid this problem will become a hidden danger between the two of us. Although Li Ting and I have roughly the same concept of life, there will still be differences on some specific issues. I didn't want to affect our relationship because of this disagreement, so I had to find a way to convince Li Ting's father to make him understand our thoughts.
After dinner, Li Ting and I went back to our apartment. As soon as I entered the door, I couldn't wait to say to Li Ting: "My dear, I really can't accept your father's request just now. "
Li Ting sighed: "I know, I also feel very embarrassed. My father was always conservative, and he believed that family members should help each other, which is why he made this request. "
"But this is not in line with our way of life! Both of us earn our income through our own efforts, and we have the right to use it ourselves. Do we have to compromise just because of your father's demands?" I said with some excitement.
Li Ting held my hand soothingly: "I understand your feelings, and I don't want to affect our relationship because of this issue." However, you also know my father's character, he is very stubborn and difficult to convince. We've got to find a way to get him to understand what we're thinking. "
"But I couldn't accept his request. Our lives should not be subject to others, let alone your parents. "I stood my ground.
Li Ting was silent for a while, and suddenly said, "Then let's explain to them frankly and let them know what we think." Maybe through communication, they will be able to understand us. "
I nodded, "Okay, let's go talk to your parents about it." "
I patiently explained, "Auntie, of course I understand your thoughts. However, Li Ting and I have a different way of life than your generation. We pay more attention to the independence and autonomy of the individual. Both of us earn our income through our own efforts, and we should be at our own disposal and management. "
"Auntie, I understand your concern. But just because we manage our own income doesn't mean we don't do our part. The two of us communicate regularly and decide together on the family's expenses. It's just that we leave the specific implementation to ourselves. I patiently explained.
Li Ting's mother was silent for a while, and finally said, "Okay, since this is your choice, we don't have to talk too much." However, if there is anything you need help with in the future, just let us know. "
I breathed a sigh of relief and said gratefully, "Thank you, Auntie, we will." "
Just when I thought that the matter had been resolved, Li Ting's father suddenly said: "Since you are not willing to hand over your salary card to Li Ting for management, then I suggest that from now on, you should take out a part of your income every month and hand it over to us for your family." This is also a family rule and cannot be violated. "
I was speechless for a while, and I couldn't believe that Li Ting's father had made such a request. This is undoubtedly a further violation of our rights and a denial of our economic autonomy.
I lowered my face and said in a somewhat cold tone, "Dad, I understand your thoughts, but we still want to be able to control our own income." We have the ability to manage household expenses well and do not require you and your mom to supervise. It's about our lifestyle and values, and I hope you understand. "
Li Ting's father did not mean to back down at all, but said more forcefully: "This is not a matter of negotiation, this is a family rule! As a family member, you must abide by it." Otherwise, I can't guarantee that it won't affect your position in the family in the future. "
I felt an inexplicable outrage. We both have our own jobs and incomes, so why should we be subject to others? It's an insult to our dignity.
"Dad, you're violating our rights! Both of us earn our income through our own efforts, and we should be at our own disposal. You do not have the right to compel us to entrust your earnings to you. Don't you understand that this doesn't fit our way of life?" I couldn't help but raise my voice a few degrees.
Li Ting's father's face sank: "Since you said so, then I have nothing to say." If you don't want to follow the house rules, then don't come to our house! "
Looking at my father's increasingly serious face, I felt anxious. I know he's always been stubborn, and I'm afraid it's hard to convince him this time. But I don't want to turn against my father because of this problem, and I don't want to trouble Li Ting.
Just when I was hesitating, Li Ting suddenly said loudly: "Dad, you calm down first." We can discuss this matter again. It's not that we don't want to contribute to the family, we just want to be able to do it in our own way. The fact that the two of us have a different lifestyle than your generation already does, but that doesn't mean we don't value family. We just want more autonomy, and that's not wrong. Can you try to understand our thoughts?"
Li Ting's father was silent for a long time, and finally sighed and said, "Okay, since you insist on doing this, then I have nothing more to say." However, if there is anything you need help in the future, just tell us, don't carry it yourself. "
Hearing my father's words, I breathed a sigh of relief and said gratefully, "Thank you, Dad, we will." "
When I returned home, Li Ting saw that I was feeling a little heavy, and patted my arm gently: "My dear, I was also a little surprised by your father's attitude just now. Still, I'm grateful that you've been able to stand your ground for us. "
I took her hand and sighed, "I know it's not easy for you either. Your father has always been stubborn, and I'm glad we were able to convince him. I just hope this incident doesn't affect your relationship with your parents. "
Li Ting smiled gently: "It's okay, I've been used to it for a long time." I know your differences, but I also hope you can understand my parents' thoughts. After all, they are for our good. "
"Of course I understand, it's just that our way of life is not the same as theirs. We need more autonomy to decide our own things. I hugged her gently.
Li Ting nodded: "Yes, I also hope that in the future, they can fully understand and accept our choice." But even if there are differences, we must try to preserve our families. After all, you and I are the masters of this family. "
Listening to Li Ting's words, I had mixed feelings in my heart. Although the two of us have differences on some issues, mutual understanding and support are the most important. Even if we are under pressure from our families, as long as the two of us stand together, we will definitely be able to resolve the crisis.
I squeezed Li Ting's hand and said solemnly, "My dear, we must take good care of our family. No matter what pressure there is from the outside world, as long as the two of us are together, we will definitely be able to get through it. "
Li Ting smiled and nodded: "Well, we will." "
Just after the two of us were emotionally stable, Li Ting's parents suddenly came to our house again.
"Ming, Ting, we're here to discuss something with you. Li Ting's father spoke.
Li Ting and I glanced at each other, feeling uneasy. Is there going to be a new round of controversy?
"Mom, Dad, what's the matter with you?" Li Ting asked tentatively.
"We want to apologize to you. Li Ting's mother was the first to speak, "Our attitude just now was too tough and we didn't respect your wishes. As parents, we should give our children more choice and autonomy instead of imposing their own ideas. "
I looked at them with some surprise, I didn't expect them to apologize.
"We're getting a little stubborn. Li Ting's father continued, "However, we just hope that you can take good care of yourself and don't always carry it alone." If you need help in the future, be sure to let us know. After all, we, as elders, also have a responsibility to take care of you. "
Hearing this, my worries finally let go of a lot. It seems that they are finally able to understand our thoughts.
"Mom, Dad, thank you for your understanding. It's not that we're reluctant to discuss family matters with you, but we just want to have more autonomy over some specific matters. If there is anything that needs to be discussed in the future, we will definitely take the initiative to come to you. I say sincerely.
Li Ting's parents nodded, "Okay, then it's decided." We will respect your decision as well. "
Watching Li Ting's parents leave, I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. This family conflict was finally alleviated, and the three of us found a way to understand and respect each other.
I turned my head to look at Li Ting, who was quietly observing everything, and there was a satisfied smile on the corner of her mouth. I took her hand and said softly, "Honey, we've finally made it through this." "
Li Ting nodded, "Yes, I'm glad that my parents can understand our thoughts." I know it's not going to be easy for them either. "
"As long as the two of us are together, we will definitely be able to solve any difficulty. I said solemnly.
Li Ting leaned on my shoulder, "Well, we will run our family well." No matter what challenges I face, as long as you're there, I feel at ease. "
I kissed her lightly on the forehead, "Me too, dear." We will move forward hand in hand to create a better future together. "
At this moment, I felt happiness and satisfaction like never before. No matter what difficulties we may encounter in the future, as long as we have each other's support and understanding, we will be able to overcome the difficulties and build a happy family together.
Just as we were hugging each other, Li Ting suddenly said, "Ming, I have something to tell you." "
I looked at her quizzically, "What's the matter, my dear?"
"I'm pregnant. Li Ting whispered, a happy smile blooming on her face.
I froze and looked at her in disbelief. "Really? Great!" I hugged her excitedly, feeling a warm current in my heart.
We are about to usher in a new phase of our lives, and we will also begin to shoulder more family responsibilities. But at this time, I feel extremely relieved and excited.
"We will definitely be good parents. Li Ting said with a smile.
"Yes, dear. With you, I'm not worried at all. We will definitely take good care of this little life. I kissed her on the forehead and looked at her expectantly.
Just then, the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw Li Ting's parents standing outside the door, carrying a large package in their hands.
"Ming, Ting, this is some baby products we have for you. We know that you have limited financial resources, and you are worried that you have no place to buy them. Li Ting's father said with a smile.
"Mom, Dad, thank you so much. Li Ting happily took the package.
Our family sat around the living room for this warm moment. I looked at the scene in front of me, and my heart was filled with gratitude and happiness.
All the differences and disputes of the past seem to have been swept away. In its place, there is a family atmosphere of mutual understanding and mutual support. The three of us finally found a good way to get along, no longer rigidly following a certain "house rule", but maintaining family relationships with a more open and inclusive attitude.
We are standing at a new starting point in our lives and facing new challenges. However, as long as we support each other and hold hands, we can create a happy future together. No matter how difficult the road ahead, we will move forward together together.
I gently hugged the pregnant Li Ting, felt her warmth, and secretly vowed in my heart: I will be a good husband and father who is responsible and contributes to my strength. We will live happily together as a family.