Love, which is supposed to be a journey where two hearts are close to each other and accompanied by warmth, often becomes tortuous because of the excessive flattery of one party.
We often hear voices like, "Why am I always in love?", and perhaps the answer lies in your unwitting behavior to please others.
In love, pleasing others often stems from inner insecurity and low self-esteem. We are worried about our own shortcomings, afraid of losing the other person's liking and recognition, so we begin to deliberately behave in love, cater to the other person's preferences, and even give up our own principles and bottom line. We think that this can be exchanged for the other person's affection, but we ignore the most important point in love: the true self.
When we choose to please others, we are effectively denying our own worth and uniqueness. We put each other's needs and preferences first, but ignore our own feelings and thoughts. Such relationships are unequal and difficult to last. Because true love is based on mutual respect and equality, not endless flattery and sacrifice by one party.
So why do we choose to please others?
Behind this is often our doubts about our self-worth and our desire to be loved. We may have been hurt at one time and were afraid of being rejected or hurt again, so we chose to please ourselves in this way. However, doing so will only make us lose ourselves more and make our relationships more fragile.
How to change this situation and talk about a love that truly belongs to you?
First of all, we need to recognize our own value. Everyone is unique, and we have our own strengths and strengths. In love, we should be brave enough to show our true colors, rather than trying to please each other. When we dare to show our imperfections, we are actually sending a message to each other: I am authentic and I am willing to share everything about me with you. Such an attitude will make the other person respect us more and will also make our relationship stronger.
Second, we need to learn to express our needs and feelings. In a relationship, we should not just passively accept what the other person gives, but also take the initiative to express our needs and feelings. When we are able to express our thoughts and feelings honestly, we are actually building a deeper communication and understanding with the other person. Such a relationship will be more real and profound.
In addition, we need to learn to set boundaries and protect ourselves. Pleasing others often means that we are constantly sacrificing our own interests. However, true love should be based on mutual respect and equality. We should learn to set boundaries for ourselves and protect our rights. This does not mean that we are to become selfish or cold, but to ensure that our romantic relationships are based on equality and justice.
Finally, we need to learn to love ourselves. When we truly love ourselves, we don't rely too much on the other person's approval to prove our worth. We will be more confident in facing the challenges and difficulties in our relationship, and we will be more courageous in pursuing our own happiness. When we learn to love ourselves, we also learn how to truly love others.
It's not because we're not good enough or hard enough to fall in love, it's because we're always trying to please others. We should learn to accept and cherish our uniqueness, to be brave enough to be who we are, to express our needs and feelings, to set boundaries and protect ourselves, and to love ourselves. Only in this way can we talk about a love that truly belongs to us and find the sweetness and happiness that belongs to us.
In the future journey of love, may we all let go of the burden of pleasing others and bravely pursue our own happiness. Let's learn to cherish our own value, respect our own feelings, and use our true selves to attract the person who truly understands us and loves us. When we dare to be ourselves, we will find that love can be so beautiful and simple. Because true love is not about pleasing others, but about meeting your true self in the other person's world.