Love is like a colorful dream, in which people feel both sweetness and illusion. For boys, there are some common delusions they may have in a relationship due to a variety of factors such as gender roles, societal expectations, and personal experiences.
The following will introduce to you several common misconceptions of boys in love, and try to analyze the reasons behind them, so as to help boys better understand themselves in love, don't add drama to themselves, and avoid misunderstandings.
Myth 1: The more you give, the more you get
Many guys have a notion in a relationship that they think that if they give enough for each other, they will be rewarded accordingly. This illusion can lead them to constantly give for each other while ignoring their own needs and feelings. However, romantic relationships are not simply an exchange relationship, and giving and giving are not always proportional to what is rewarded.
The root of this illusion may lie in boys' identification with their sense of self-worth. Some guys may think that only by giving for the other person can they prove their worth and importance. However, a true romantic relationship should be based on equality and mutual respect, and both parties should have their own needs and pursuits, rather than simply existing for each other.
Delusion 2: Love is what life is all about
Some guys will take each other too much importance in love, and even regard love as the whole of life. They may give up their hobbies, career plans, and social circles for each other and devote themselves to a relationship. However, this over-engagement can cause them to lose themselves and become dependent and anxious.
The reason for this delusion may be the boy's over-idealization of the relationship. They may see love as a state of perfection, believing that as long as they are in love, they can be happy and satisfied. However, being in love is only one part of life, not the whole story. A healthy romantic relationship should be based on personal independence and autonomy, and both parties should have their own lives and pursuits.
Delusion 3: Everything about the other party is perfect
In the early stages of a relationship, many boys will have an idealized perception of each other, believing that everything about the other person is perfect. They may ignore each other's shortcomings and inadequacies and even make excuses for each other's behavior and attitude. However, this idealized perception can be shattered over time, leading them to feel disappointed and frustrated.
The reason for this delusion may be the boy's excessive expectations for love. They may see being in a relationship as an idealized state that the other person should meet all of their expectations and requirements. However, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and both partners in a relationship should also accept and respect each other for who they really are.
Myth 4: Falling in love solves all problems
Some guys may think that as long as they are in love, they can solve all the problems in life. They may expect happiness, fulfillment, and security from being in a relationship, but ignore that it also requires dedication and effort. When something goes wrong in a relationship, they may feel confused and helpless, or even choose to run away or give up.
The root of this illusion may lie in the boy's over-dependence on love. They may see being in love as a one-size-fits-all solution, believing that as long as they are in love, they can get rid of loneliness, anxiety, and insecurity. However, love is not a panacea, and it also requires hard work and dedication from both parties. A healthy romantic relationship should be based on mutual understanding, support, and growth.
How to avoid these illusions?
To avoid these delusions, boys first need to build a healthy sense of self. They need to understand that being in love is only a part of life, not the whole story. At the same time, they also need to learn to respect and understand each other, accept each other as they are, and not idealize or over-rely on each other.
In addition, boys also need to learn to be independent and autonomous in a relationship. They should have their own interests, career plans, and social circles, rather than being completely dependent on each other. At the same time, they also need to learn to communicate and solve problems in a relationship, rather than choosing to run away or give up.
Delusions in love are universal, but as long as we keep a clear head and a healthy sense of self, we can avoid misunderstandings and build healthy romantic relationships.