Lead
In their later years, what the old people want most is to be filial to their children and have someone to accompany them when they are sick. But sometimes, even if the children are by their side, the parents will think that the children are not filial, and even the people around them will follow suit.
However, is it true that children are not filial? It can only be said that without the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be kind. In many cases, it is not that the children do not want to be filial to the elderly, but that the elderly are too much, making the children feel tired and just want to stay away from them.
50-year-old Ms. Li has recently been physically and mentally exhausted, her mother has been hospitalized many times in a year, and she has accompanied her to take care of her mother every time, however, after the experience, she found that her mother's illness is not a serious illness, which made her very angry, and after sending her mother back to her parents' home, she said: I can't afford the filial piety that my mother wants.
Narrator: Ms. Li, 50 years old
I am Ms. Li, 50 years old, and my mother is in her 70s. There are four brothers and sisters in my family, the eldest brother above, and the younger brother and younger sister below.
As time went by, we each became adults and had our own families, and we also left our parents and had our own nests. Usually, my parents spend it by themselves, and we will go back to my parents' house to get together during the New Year's holidays.
A few years ago, my father left, and my mother began to live alone, and it was also at this time that my mother began to slowly change, and it became more and more incomprehensible to do things.
My mother lived by herself for a few years, maybe she felt lonely, or maybe she was afraid, she mentioned to our brother about her own pension, saying that she wanted to live with us, and asked us what we thought.
We respected our mother's opinion, and after discussion, we decided to let my mother live with my younger brother, and the other three of us would give my younger brother living expenses every month.
At first, my mother lived very happily, but after a long time, because she couldn't get along with her brother and daughter-in-law, there were a lot of conflicts, so naturally she lived unhappily.
At first, when we heard my mother crying to us and my brother-in-law treating her badly, we thought that it was because my brother-in-law didn't like my mother and had opinions about my mother's care at home, which caused the conflict.
The three of us brother and sister also talked to the younger brother and the younger brother-in-law, hoping that the younger brother and daughter-in-law could be more generous and not worry about the mother and an old man.
Unexpectedly, my brother and daughter-in-law said directly: If you think it is my problem, then take your mother-in-law to you to take care of it, and I am willing to pay the same living expenses as you.
The eldest brother took his mother to his home angrily, and the younger brother and sister gave 1,000 yuan of living expenses to the eldest brother every month, and said: After you take us away, we don't care, we only give living expenses every month, if 1,000 yuan is not enough, we can give 1,500.
In this way, my mother went to live at my eldest brother's house, and we gave my eldest brother money every month, because I worked in other places and had less time to take care of my mother, so I gave 1,000 yuan for living expenses like my younger brother.
I thought that my mother would be happy to live in this way, and everyone didn't have to worry about my mother's life, but I didn't expect that half a year later, the eldest brother couldn't live with my mother, and the mother and son quarreled every day, making the atmosphere at home very tense.
The sister-in-law offered to send her away, asked her who she wanted to live in, and asked us who would like to take her to her.
My sister and I meant to go to my sister's house, because my sister was close, but my mother didn't want to go, but asked to go back to her own home, saying that it was safe to live in her own house and not to be disgusted.
No matter how much we tried to persuade her, we had to send my mother back to her hometown, and in order to quickly understand her situation, we installed a camera in the house and made a video call to my mother every two days.
I don't know if it's because I usually have more contact with my mother, and my mother has become very dependent on me, often telling me that it is better to raise a daughter, caring and so on.
My mother likes to call me when there is anything at home, regardless of time and place, such as going to the city, or missing something at home.
I have been told many times that there is an urgent matter for me to take leave to go home to deal with, but when I get home, it is a small matter that can be solved by just calling other brothers and sisters who are nearby.
After this operation went back and forth a few times, I felt a little irritable, and told my mother that it was nothing serious, you can just call the other brothers and sisters to deal with it, I can't keep tossing like this, after all, I also have to live.
After losing my temper at my mother, I finally passed a month of quiet days, and after I thought she understood, on a calm afternoon, I received another call from my mother.
My mother said that she was not in good health, chest tightness and shortness of breath, and uncomfortable, so I was shocked at the time and quickly called my little brother to ask him if he was free and asked him to send my mother to the hospital for examination.
I didn't find anything when I went to the hospital, and the doctor said that there was nothing wrong with it, but she was thinking too much and asked her to pay more attention to rest. But my mother just thought that the doctor didn't check it out, and said that she was uncomfortable for a while, and strongly asked to be hospitalized for observation.
The younger brother also asked for leave at that time, and there was no time to accompany my mother in the hospital, I was far away and did not know the situation, I was very worried, and called the eldest brother and younger sister, hoping that they could take care of it.
The younger sister said that he couldn't leave halfway on a business trip, and the eldest brother said that he would rather give more money than accompany his mother, so I had no choice but to ask for leave to go home and stay in the hospital with my mother for a few days.
After several tests, but nothing was found, my mother agreed to be discharged from the hospital, and I went back to work.
Two months later, I received another call from my mother, who said that she was not feeling well here, that she was uncomfortable there, and that the other siblings did not care about her and asked me to come back and take her to the doctor.
Originally, I wanted to wait for the weekend to go back to the hospital with her, but my mother just didn't agree and insisted that I go back immediately, this time I took another week off and spent three or four days in the hospital with my mother.
And before going back to work, I bought some nutritional and health products for my mother, as well as some daily necessities, and told her to remember to eat and not to save.
I thought I would be able to live in peace in this way, after all, I went back and forth to the hospital twice and didn't find anything serious, and my mother scared herself.
Unexpectedly, in the following months, I received 3 calls back and forth from my mother, and each time she was not feeling well and wanted to go to the hospital.
Every time I went back nervously, it turned out that there was nothing wrong with it, it was purely my mother's blind tossing, tossing back and forth five or six times, and I couldn't stand it anymore.
My mother didn't have any serious illness at all, it was a lack of calcium, and her irregular diet caused her to feel uncomfortable, and there was no major problem with the examination, but her mother kept tossing, and every time she was making a fuss about being hospitalized, so that she couldn't live, she said that we couldn't see her well, and we were afraid of spending money.
He also said that we knew money and money in one day, and we didn't know how to care about the old mother, and we didn't want to die early, so if we wanted her to die early, we would leave, otherwise we would accompany her to the hospital.
When she said something ugly, she scolded us for having no conscience and raised us to be taken care of in the end, but we didn't care about her and didn't want to treat her.
She was like this, and the people around me looked at me with strange eyes and pointed at us, which made me very uncomfortable. There is no way, but to follow the mother's wishes.
It was also at this moment that I finally understood the feelings of my eldest brother and younger brother, who were really physically and mentally exhausted.
After my mother was discharged from the hospital, I also left my hometown, and the sisters had a meeting and decided to send my mother to a nursing home. The eldest brother and the younger brother said that I was too obedient to my mother, which caused my mother to do things more and more according to her own temperament, tossing people, and not knowing how to understand them.
This time I really understood, so we agreed that it was the best option for each other to pay some money to send my mother to a nursing home. We can visit our mother more often when we are not busy, and there are people of the same age who can talk to her in the nursing home.
It's not that we don't want to be filial to our mother, but the filial piety she wants, and we can't afford it. Even if the people around us thought we were unfilial, we still chose to send our mother to a nursing home.
Write at the end
People say that there is an old man in the family, if there is a treasure, but this old man must also be reasonable, not just care about his own happiness, and toss as much as he wants.
No matter how much filial piety the children have, they will only become more and more tired in the face of the thorny elderly, and in the end they just don't want to pay attention to the elderly, and from filial piety to unfilial piety in the eyes of the elderly.
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