On March 28, 2024, in Liangshan, Sichuan, Qumu Tiegumu returned to his parents' home after being burned. Photo by Southern Weekly reporter Zheng Dan
During the 11 days of her follow-up to Qumu Tiegumu's tragic marriage, 17 interviewees described her being beaten, verbally abused, and threatened by her husband, Mukua Muzi. Such scenes of suspected domestic violence also exist in a family mediation verbal commitment, a court mediation letter, three police calls and several chat records, and even appear in the video recording of the youngest daughter's mobile phone.
The last recorded beating occurred at about 4 a.m. on August 14, 2023, when a resident in the alley near the couple's home saw that Mukua Muzi dragged Tiegumu to the ground and beat for a while, "one foot on the left and one foot on the right, and the woman kept shouting 'help, help me call the police.'"
The tragedy that ensued brought the family into public view. At his home in Yuexi County, Liangshan Prefecture, Sichuan Province, the two had an argument, and Tie Gumu was burned by fire.
According to the doctor's diagnosis, Tie Gumu suffered 18% burns all over his body, which is a second-degree serious injury. But as to who burned the fire, both husband and wife said that the other party did it.
On March 24, 2024, the Yuexi Public Security Bureau issued a police report: both parties had been drinking alcohol before the incident, and no third person was present at the time of the incident. In a brief call with Southern Weekly, Mukua Muzi denied setting the fire, but admitted that he had beaten Tegumu.
At the time of the fire, 36-year-old Tetsugumu Kogi was in the 15th year of marriage. In the interview, the earliest case of domestic violence occurred in 2010. In 2016, she could have sued for divorce, but finally gave up under the concept of "divorced women are ashamed" and the concern for her children; it was also around 2016 that she first knew that calling the police could protect herself; after burns in 2023, she learned the word "women's federation" for the first time under the questioning of a nurse.
However, after the burns, the suffering is not over.
"When you are old, you get married"
Tegumu was awakened by a nightmare. In the dream, Mukua Muzi chased her and beat her, but she couldn't run, and after stepping on her loosened shoelaces, she fell to the ground and was caught by Mukua Muzi. "I often have dreams like this. Tiegumu told Southern Weekly.
After being burned, Tegumu used to shrink his shoulders, arch his body, and always keep his head forward, his bare neck like snakeskin. After the skin graft, the scar proliferated, and the raised red flesh sac wrapped around the mandible, and the pain of the tear under the armpit made her unable to lift her arm.
In Tegumu's words, she has become a wasted person and can never go back. She blamed her husband Mu Ku Amuzi for all this. "It would be nice if he changed me back, and if I changed back, I would get a divorce. ”
In 2008, Tegumu and Mukua Muzi were introduced to each other by relatives and got engaged when they met for the first time. At that time, Tegumu called himself a "small boss". She did not go to school, so she left the village very early and followed her parents to the county to set up a stall to sell cheap clothes, and after gaining experience, she was able to go to Chengdu and Kunming to buy goods by herself.
On the day of the engagement, 19-year-old Mukua Muzi had shoulder-length hair, a diagonal bangs covering her left eye, and she was dressed plainly. Tegumu recalled that when she was 20 years old, she stood a few meters away, and the two spoke a few words in the air.
Local residents say that in the Yi people, the parents of girls reach the age of marriage when they are seventeen or eighteen years old. In the past, the Yi people would mostly follow the tradition, arrange marriages arranged by their parents and family support, and often get engaged at first sight, and then hold a ceremony according to the custom, which is more effective than obtaining a marriage certificate.
Tegumu had long been taught by his mother how to be a competent wife: women should not run outside, clean up the house, wash the clothes for the dolls, cook the food for the husband, and do not talk to men outside...... Tie Gumu wrote them down one by one.
She inherited her mother's virtuous qualities. In the eyes of relatives and friends, Tie Gumu is well organized, can tidy up the rental house of more than ten square meters, get up at 7 o'clock in the morning to prepare breakfast for the baby; Mu Ku Amuzi takes off the shoes outside the door, and she will take the initiative to wash the underwear that she changes; when she enters the clothes, she will pay special attention to the fashionable clothes for her husband.
Ah Zhi, who used to set up a stall next to Tie Gumu to sell clothes, recalled that the newlywed Tie Gumu and Mu Ku Amuzi were inseparable all day long, "At that time, I thought that the relationship between the two of them was quite good, they were together when they bought vegetables, and they had never seen a quarrel."
The secret of domestic violence came out in 2010, when Tegumu was pregnant with her second child. A neighbor at the time told Southern Weekend that she had seen Mu Ku Amuzi press the big-bellied Tiegumu on the aisle of the door and beat it, regardless of his crying.
Shi Zemu from the same village also bumped into her, and Mu Ku Amuzi pulled Tie Gumu's hair and yelled to throw her off the balcony on the second floor. Another time, Tegumu was broken by her husband, and Shi Zemu sent her to the clinic for three stitches.
For a few years, Shi Zemu and her husband were picking cotton in Xinjiang, and Tiegumu and his wife also defected to the past. After working for less than a month, Tie Gumu fled back to his hometown first because he couldn't stand the domestic violence. "I took her to the train because I was afraid that her husband would chase her and beat her. Shi Zemu recalled.
Children are also aware of the tension between their parents. Tegumu's daughter once secretly filmed a scene with her mobile phone. In the shaky camera, Tie Gumu hid behind the cabinet, and Mu Ku Amuzi stood in front of him and scolded: "Every time I ask you for money, you have to say a few words to me, believe it or not, I beat you?" The two children screamed several times, crying: "Mom, don't talk." ”
After a long time, Ah Zhi also realized that something was wrong. One evening a few years ago, she and Tie Gumu were out partying with friends, and Mu Ku Amuzi came over and scolded several women present, "Gua Po Niang, brought Tie Gumu to the ground." Because of that unpleasantness, Ah Zhi didn't talk to Tegumu for a month. "Some of our friends are afraid of her husband, so they slowly stop playing with her. ”
Later, Tegumu occasionally mentioned to his friends that this marriage was a mistake. "I don't know what love is, it's time to get married when I'm old, so I'll get married. ”
Qu Mu Tie Gumu and Mu Ku Amuzi got engaged in 2008 and officially registered their marriage in 2012. Photo courtesy of the interviewee
"Say this, others will laugh"
The high-speed train crosses the Hengduan Mountains, enters the hinterland of Daliang Mountain, and arrives at Yuexi Station, which will be put into use at the end of 2022. Yuexi County lies in the valley, and more than 90% of the county is mountainous, and the villagers mostly grow agricultural products such as artichoke and apples. It used to be a national-level poverty-stricken county until it was lifted out of poverty in 2020.
The village of the Qu Mu family has been around for some years. The low house that my grandfather's generation built on the mountainside is now surrounded by a layer of dark green moss.
Compared with his elder brother Qu Mu Tiandu and his two younger brothers, Tie Gumu lived in the old house for the longest time. Of the four children, she was the only one who had never gone to school. The brothers went out to school, and their parents went to the county seat to make a living, leaving thirteen or fourteen-year-old Tegumu alone to look after the family and feed the livestock. Recalling this childhood, Tegumu said that it was the happiest years of her life.
Qu Mu Tiandu sometimes thinks that if his sister also goes to school, maybe it won't end like this. Some scholars of local culture have written that as villages that have lived in the mountains for a long time, the local people have formed a unique social and marriage system. Among them, the more significant feature is that more attention is paid to the inheritance rights of men in the family branch, and women have a lower status, are considered to be subordinate to men, and are bound by many rules.
In the local tradition, it is a matter of course that girls do not study. "I don't want to miss either, it's too far to go to school. "Today's Tie Gumu doesn't know a few big characters, and he speaks Chinese jerky, and he often has a headache because he can't think of the right words.
Ah Zhi, who graduated from junior high school, is already a relatively well-educated girl in the local area, but she also has to endure her husband's actions against her. This is a secret that Ah Zhi has been covering for a long time, and if it weren't for hearing Tegumu mention the experience of being subjected to domestic violence, she wouldn't have said it.
Before Tegumu was burned, as his best friend, Ah Zhi didn't know what level of domestic violence Tegumu had suffered. "Tiegumu is very face-saving and never says this. Once she was drunk and cried so much that she said that her husband was not good to her. ”
"I don't want to put my bad side on others, I always feel that if I say this, others won't help you, and I will laugh when I hear it. Tegumu found that his beaten daughter was as silent as he was. Once, her daughter was hit in the swollen face by Mukua Muzi, and when someone in the class asked about it, her daughter lied and said that she had fallen by herself. "I cried when I heard that, and she must have been as scared as I was. ”
In order to avoid disputes with her husband, Tegumu privately told Ah Zhi not to call her at future gatherings. "I don't want Mukua Muzi to think that I'm doing bad things outside. ”
Tiegumu said that Mukua Muzi suspected her of cheating, and even suspected that her daughter was not her own. He frequently looked through Tiegumu's WeChat address book and photo album, logged in to her Kuaishou account, and asked fans in private messages what their relationship was with Tiegumu.
"When I was working, he often called me in the early hours of the morning to scold me, saying that I was being fostered. Tiegumu denied cheating to a reporter from Southern Weekly, "I have never done anything bad."
Southern Weekend reporters interviewed a number of Tiegumu's relatives and friends, all of whom said that there was no evidence of his cheating, and contacted Mukua Muzi and his family, but did not respond to this.
The courtyard where Tetsugi lived when he was a child. Photo by Southern Weekly reporter Zheng Dan
The mediation of the elders of the family
After the burn, Tie Gumu changed his WeChat name to "rebirth". She began to take the initiative to tell about her experience of domestic violence over the years, repeating it over and over again.
Qu Mutian heard that his head was on fire. He had heard his sister mention being beaten two or three times before, but he didn't realize the seriousness. In his impression, Tiegumu can be alone and never let people worry about it, but after marriage, he became a stranger. "My parents didn't lift a finger of her, and I don't know how she got like this. ”
The first time was about 10 years ago, Qu Mu Tiandu recalled that Tegumu suddenly ran to his house, saying that he was beaten by his husband and wanted to borrow it for a while. Qu Mutian didn't think much about it, and agreed, this stay is a few weeks. "I didn't understand it at the time, I thought it was just an awkward quarrel between the two of them, and after a few light hits, my sister was angry. ”
Another time, Qu Mutian received a call from his sister saying that he had been beaten. He rushed over and saw Mukua Muzi sitting on the sofa, "I asked him if he was fighting, and he said that he did, and as soon as I punched up, the two of them fought." A neighbor of Tiegumu also had an impression of this time, she said that she saw Mu Ku A Muzi waving a knife at Qu Mu Tiandu, stepped forward to persuade him, and was scolded by Mu Ku A Muzi for being nosy.
Tie Gumu later explained that calling his brother over was a request made by Mu Ku Amuzi. Qu Mutian expressed his disdain for his brother-in-law, "I said in front of him that I just looked down on him and had no ability."
Mu Ku Amuzi really has no way to make a living, the only short-term job as a school bus driver is provided by his uncle, 2,000 yuan a month, so that he often has to ask Tie Gumu for tobacco and alcohol money; Tegumu said that her husband often came home drunk in the early hours of the morning, and while beating her, he asked: "People outside look down on me, your brother looks down on me, do you also look down on me?"
Due to the endless conflict between Tiegumu and Mukua Muzi, the relationship between the two parents' families was tense, and the most fierce one was around 2016, which also alarmed the clansmen of both sides to mediate.
In those years, there was a "labor shortage" in the eastern coastal areas, and many women in Daliangshan went out to work. Tie Gumu also followed his friends to work in Xuzhou, Jiangsu. However, in the local tradition, a woman's role is to raise children and take care of her husband at home.
"Children also need living expenses to go to school, Mu Ku Amuzi has no job, (I) don't work, what can I do. "The place where Tiegumu works in Xuzhou is a foot massage shop. She heard from a friend that she could earn four or five thousand yuan a month, which was an unimaginable high salary in Yuexi County at that time. "Mukua Muzi thinks that I have a man outside, and his mother says that I am prostituting outside. For this reason, the mothers of both sides had a fight in the street.
According to local tradition, when a matter is serious, the elders of the two families will come forward and ask a few intermediaries to communicate on behalf of both parties and orally agree on a solution, and the result of the negotiation is often more authoritative than the court's decision. On that occasion, Qu Mu Tiandu invited Qu Mu Zai, the eldest of the family's fathers, to come forward and administer justice for Tie Gumu as the head of the family with the highest prestige.
The two sides were about in a wide area, each with more than a dozen people, standing more than 30 meters away from each other. In order to prevent group fights, the greater the contradiction and the farther the distance, several intermediaries all adhered to the concept of "rather demolishing ten temples than breaking a marriage", and the two sides ran back and forth to spread the word. Qu Mu Zayi, who is now 73 years old, recalled to a reporter from Southern Weekend that after a day of talks, the two sides finally verbally agreed to let Tiegumu, who was working outside, go home to take care of his children, and Mu Ku Amuzi would find a way to earn money to support his family and no longer fight Tiegumu.
"In our case, such mediation is a spittle and a nail, and what is said must be observed, but Mukua Muzi does not abide by it. Qu Mu Tiandu said that shortly after the mediation, he received a call from his sister before he could return. "She said, 'Mukua Muzi came to Jiangsu to kill me.'" ”
Tegumu recalled that day he suddenly received a call from a local person saying that he wanted to make an appointment for a pedicure service. "I was happy because no one had ever rang my clock, and I thought something was wrong, how could he know my number. When she walked to the door of the reserved private room, she had a bad premonition, so she asked the clerk to go in first to help take a look, and sure enough, it was Mu Ku Amuzi who chased after her.
Two clerks who worked at the foot massage shop confirmed the incident to Southern Weekend, saying that the police quickly took Mukua Muzi away. The clerks learned from the police that Mukua Muzi arrived in Xuzhou that day, and on the way to the foot massage shop by taxi, he asked the driver to call Tiegumu's phone at the clock, "The driver saw that he was holding a knife, so he called the police."
That night, Qu Mu Tiandu received a call from Mu Ku Amuzi, "He asked me to talk to Tie Gumu and guarantee him out." Qu Mutian ignored it and explained to his sister, "If you are as soft-hearted as before, I will not recognize you."
"I'm afraid he'll come out and beat me. Tegumu did not vouch for her husband. This was also the first time she knew that she could protect herself by calling the police.
Bentwood iron ancient wood before burns. Respondents: Respondents
"I want to endure until the baby grows up"
After the traditional mediation method failed, Qu Mu Tiandu, who had a university education, decided to solve the problem through legal means. On December 2, 2016, he took Tegumu to the Yuexi County Court and filed a complaint.
In this complaint, Qu Mu Tie Gumu stated: The defendant Mu Ku Amuzi was violent and suspicious after marriage, and the plaintiff had always accommodated the defendant and hoped that the defendant would repent; however, the defendant intensified his efforts, scolding the plaintiff and his children as soon as he opened his mouth, beating him when he raised his hand, and often stayed out overnight, and became addicted to gambling. "Never fulfilled the duties and obligations of a husband and father. ”
The complaint refers to a recent incident of domestic violence: On March 14, 2016, the defendant returned home drunk and smashed furniture, waking up the sleeping plaintiff and his children. The plaintiff advised him to sleep, but the defendant refused to listen and beat the plaintiff until he was hospitalized with a lumbar spine injury.
Tegumu asked the court to order him to divorce Mukua and Amuzi, and to sentence one of the legitimate children to be raised. But these two requirements are contrary to local traditions, and she has no bottom in her heart.
Traditionally, once a marriage has been concluded, it cannot be easily dissolved, and divorce is considered a serious sin. This perception has changed as residents become more educated, but it remains a strong constraint.
"The rule of our family is to marry a dog and a chicken. Divorced woman, a bit of a shame. Tiegumu's mother told Southern Weekend that in her generation, there were many men who beat their wives, but no one would get divorced. "And we have to lose money, Mu Ku Amuzi wants 500,000, where can we get it?"
The local custom is that whoever files for divorce first will have to pay a sum of money. If the woman mentions, the bride price for the marriage must be doubled, and the general amount must be enough for the man to marry the next wife. Shi Zemu told a reporter from Southern Weekly, "There are many men, in order not to lose money, but also to get a sum of money, to beat women to death, let the women file for divorce themselves."
Tegumu believes in his heart that divorce is a very disgraceful thing. "When people see that I'm divorced, they will laugh at me and feel like there's something wrong with me as a person. ”
What makes her even more concerned is that according to custom, after the divorce, the children belong to the man's family, and the woman has no custody rights. "I can't live without my two babies, I don't know how I can live without them. ”
Putting children first at all times is also the mission of Tegumu's mother's life. She said that she had spent most of her life trying to pull her four children, and "I was very satisfied when they all got married." But she didn't expect that Tegumu would face a choice between children and divorce. She felt sorry for her daughter, so she didn't say anything, it all depended on Tiegumu's intentions.
When Mukua Muzi refused to divorce the court and the judge persuaded him to reconcile, Tegumu's determination was still relented. He said that he would definitely change it in the future, stop beating me, and let me not divorce for the sake of the two babies. ”
According to the court mediation transcript dated December 12, 2016, the plaintiff Qu Mu Tie Gumu and the defendant Mu Ku Amuzi voluntarily reconciled, and the defendant promised to change his previous bad habits such as drinking, playing cards, and domestic violence, returning home early without incident, and taking care of the family responsibly. The transcript is accompanied by the autographs of Qumu Tie Gumu and Mu Ku Amuzi.
Walking out of the courthouse, Tegumu didn't dare to look at his brother's face. Qu Mu Tiandu recalled that after learning the result of the mediation, he was very disappointed in his sister and blocked Mu Ku Amuzi's phone. "They're adults, and I'm here as an older brother to help. ”
On April 1, 2024, Qumu Tegumu went to the court to obtain the previous divorce record. Photo by Southern Weekly reporter Zheng Dan
Tie Gumu, who was not divorced, encountered domestic violence again. She never talked to her brother about what happened to her, but ran back to her parents' house 10 kilometers away overnight with her child.
Tiegumu's parents were deeply impressed by this, and one morning, it was raining lightly, and Tiegumu wore pajamas and ran home with his two children on a tricycle, and the youngest son was naked. She said that the mobile phone was smashed by Mukua Muzi, and we still paid for the tricycle. Tegumu's mother recalled.
Tegumu lived in her mother's house until the day the child started school, and because school could not be delayed, she took the initiative to go back to her husband's house.
"Women on our side rarely get divorced, sometimes they are not happy, and they will survive for the sake of their children. "Ah Zhi can understand Tegumu's choice, and so does herself. "It still depends on my husband for the child to grow up, and I just want him to raise the child as well as me. For love or anything, it has nothing to do with me. ”
In 2019, Mukua Muzi admitted to Tegumu on WeChat that he had cheated and posted a long series of texts begging for forgiveness. Tegumu said that the next year, the same thing happened again, and she was completely chilled by her husband. Despite this, she did not get divorced.
After Tiegumu was hospitalized with burns, a friend who worked abroad all the year round commented that there was no bottom line for Mu Ku Amuzi's tolerance. This sentence stung her: "I just take my two babies very seriously, and I want to endure them until they grow up." ”
When the police came, it got bigger
On the eve of being burned, on August 13, 2023, after Tegumu settled his son in school, he went to find Ah Zhi and Shi Zemu for a party. They sang and drank at KTV. It didn't take long for the drunken Mukua Muzi to push open the door of the box.
He said that he drank a pound of liquor, and he could see that he was drunk in his eyes. Ah Zhi remembered that Mu Ku Ah Muzi would order liquor to drink when he came in, toast one cup after another, and took out WeChat chat records with other women and said that he had failed the other party. Tie Gumu on the side lowered his face, and Shi Zemu said, "Then you go to find her, I didn't invite you over."
The owner of the bar next door to the KTV also confirmed to the Southern Weekend reporter that Mu Ku Amuzi "drank too much and cursed people that night, and we quarreled". Seeing this, Tegumu proposed to send Mukua Muzi home.
Their home is in the family courtyard of a middle school in Yuexi County. Turning from the downhill road on the side of Lingguan Avenue, along the stone brick wall plastered with psoriasis advertisements and the wires coiled in the air, the small building of high and low height extends all the way to the end of the alley, which is the gate of the family home, and the whole distance is less than 200 meters.
At about 4 o'clock in the morning of the 14th, a resident on the second floor of the alley saw that a man dragged the woman to the ground and played for a while, "one foot on the left and one foot on the right, and the woman kept shouting 'help, help me call the police'." The two people in the night were Mu Ku Amuzi and Tie Gumu. At 4:31 a.m., the resident called the police.
Qu Mu Tiandu said that the road surveillance video at the time recorded Tegumu being beaten by her husband in the street. Southern Weekend reporters did not see the video.
In the early morning of August 14, 2023, some residents in the alley saw that Mu Ku A Muzi dragged Qumu Tie Gumu to the ground and beat it. Photo by Southern Weekly reporter Zheng Dan
At about 5 o'clock in the morning, Tie Gumu fled to Ah Zhi's house for help. "As soon as I opened the door, it was Tegumu, who said that she had been beaten by her husband. Ah Zhi remembered that Tegumu did not have a mobile phone, the necklace was missing, his arms were torn, and his legs were covered with mud.
Ah Zhi tentatively asked if he wanted to call Qu Mu Tiandu for help, but Tegumu refused. "Actually, I don't dare to fight, call my brother over, what if they fight again after a while?"
Tiegumu proposed to call the police, and Ah Zhi was startled, "I said don't call the police, she had to report it, so she snatched my mobile phone to call the police."
In Ah Zhi's view, the quarrel between husband and wife is a family matter, and when the police come, the matter becomes bigger. Five years ago, Tegumu's aunt reacted in the same way when faced with a similar situation.
In the summer of 2017, Tie Gumu and Mu Kua Muzi went to Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province, to join their aunt's family who worked in a factory. In just over two months, there were three instances of domestic violence. Tie Gumu's aunt once scared Mu Ku Amuzi, and if she beat someone again, she would call the police. "I'm scared of him, everyone is a relative, it's not good to call the police to really arrest him, I don't want him to cause any trouble here. ”
Tie Gumu's uncle asked Mu Ku Amuzi why he beat his wife. He remembered that the other party replied that beating his wife had nothing to do with others.
In Zhejiang, Yili, a fellow villager, also witnessed domestic violence against Tiegumu. "We watched her being beaten from the window, knocking on the door and not opening it, and the door was locked. ”
Tie Gumu recalled that the cause of the domestic violence was that Mu Ku Amuzi took a fancy to a pair of 800 yuan shorts and asked her for money. "I said it's too expensive, you don't make any money. ”
Since the court's mediation the previous year, Tegumu has had a sense of preserving evidence. Because Mu Ku Amuzi often checked her mobile phone, she asked Yili to help take pictures of her injuries after domestic violence. Yili told Southern Weekend that in those six or seven photos, Tegumu was sitting on the bed, his thighs and arms were black, but these photos were eventually erased due to the passage of time.
"Where the two little ones are, they are your little ones. If you continue like this, one day you will be beaten to death by Mukua Muzi. Tiegumu's aunt said that she had expressed her views euphemistically, but did not directly propose a divorce, "We are still not used to Yi people wanting to divorce."
During that time, Tegumu became dark and emaciated, and dense black spots appeared on his face. Before escaping back to his hometown in Yuexi alone, Tie Gumu promised his aunt that he would divorce no matter what he went back. Since then, they have rarely been in touch, "I thought they were reconciled."
Six years have passed. In order to take care of the children, Tiegumu never went far again. She opened a clothing store in Yuexi County and worked in a teahouse at the same time. After the outbreak of the epidemic, the clothing store closed down, and she went to work between Yuexi County and Chengdu, running motorcycles, working in restaurant services, and also working as a KTV wine salesperson.
During the two years in Chengdu, Tie Gumu lied to Mu Ku Amuzi, saying that she was working in Zhejiang. "I'm afraid that he will know that I am in Chengdu and come to Chengdu again, Chengdu is so close. ”
She still can't escape domestic violence. The craziest scene happened in the early hours of 2021. After getting drunk, Mu Ku Amuzi smashed all the TVs, coffee tables and flower pots at home, and the two children called their grandparents for help. After the old man arrived, Tegumu recalled that Mu Ku Amuzi slashed at her with a kitchen knife, and the old man blocked her out. In a panic, Tegumu ran to the roof of the building and dialed 110.
It was the first time in Tegumu's life that he called the police. She said that the two policemen rushed to the scene and left when they saw that Mukua Muzi's family was there. Later, Tie Gumu went to the Yuexi County Public Security Bureau to obtain records at that time, trying to prove that he had reported to the police for domestic violence, but to no avail.
"Burns are the result of escalating domestic violence"
"He's just as crazy as the last time. Tegumu recalled that in the early morning of August 14, 2023, more than 1 hour before being burned, she used Azhi's mobile phone to call the police. Ah Zhi remembers that after the two policemen arrived, they knocked on the door but no one answered and left.
Tie Gumu didn't dare to stay in front of her home, so she walked under a street lamp in the community and asked Ah Zhi to take pictures of her injuries with her mobile phone. At this time, Mukua Muzi suddenly appeared.
"He scolded me so badly that I deleted the photos. Frightened, Ah Zhi deleted the photos and left. Afterwards, she fell into self-blame, "I want to know that this kind of thing will happen (Tegumu was burned), and I won't leave if I am killed."
According to the police report issued by the Yuexi County Public Security Bureau, at about 6 o'clock on August 14, 2023, Qumu Tiegumu was burned by fire, and at 7:27 on the same day, Mukua Muzi contacted his brother and said that Qumu Tiegumu burned himself at home and needed to be sent to the hospital as soon as possible. At 9:38 a.m., the Yuexi County Public Security Bureau received a report from Qu Mu Tiandu that Qu Mu Tie Gumu had been burned by Mu Ku Amuzi.
In the inpatient medical records of Qumu Tiegumu on the same day, the patient and his family stated their medical history: 8+ hours before the patient was admitted to the hospital, she was splashed with white wine by her husband and set it on fire, burning her head, face, neck, front torso, and both upper limbs. In the signature column of the patient or client marked with "The following medical history records are true and accurate", there is the autograph of Muku's sister.
The police did not file a case against Qumu Tiegumu for his burns, but Tiegumu and his lawyer disagreed with this and applied to the Yuexi County Public Security Bureau for reconsideration. His lawyer argued that "the burns were the result of the escalation of domestic violence, and the two cannot be viewed separately."
In the police report, the domestic violence suffered by Qumu Tiegumu was not confirmed. According to the circular, Qu Mu Tie Gumu and Mu Ku A Muzi had conflicts and disputes over trivial family matters during the existence of their marital relationship, but they were all occasional quarrels and disputes between family members in their common life, and no evidence was found to prove that Mu Ku A Muzi had beaten, bound, maimed, restricted personal freedom, and regularly abused and intimidated Qu Mu Tie Gumu for a long time.
Southern Weekend learned that in early March 2024, police staff members said in the course of handling the case that "domestic violence is not a legal term in the first place, and we only have evidence of two beatings." On April 15, police in western Vietnam refused to be interviewed by Southern Weekend.
Before the burns, Qu Mu Tie Gumu and Mu Ku Amuzi lived in the family courtyard of a middle school in Yuexi County. Photo by Southern Weekly reporter Zheng Dan
In a telephone conversation on April 8, a reporter from Southern Weekend asked Mukua Muzi if he had been committing domestic violence for a long time, and he asked, "Do you think it is possible?"
"They were so noisy that they would wake us up in the middle of the night. A neighbor upstairs said that in recent years, she has heard things smashing downstairs several times, and Tegumu has been smiling since he first moved in, but he only buried his head when he met later.
Tiegumu said that Muku's uncle and aunt lived in the same neighborhood and had come to persuade him many times. But Muku's uncle denied this statement to a Southern Weekend reporter on the phone, "Usually the two of them have a good relationship, and I have never heard them fight before." Mukua Muzi's aunt also refused to be interviewed on the grounds that "I had surgery and can't remember anything". Mukua Muzi's father hung up the phone after learning about the reporter's identity.
After the police report was released, Qu Mu Tiandu turned out a recording, which was a phone call from Mu Ku Amuzi's father to Qu Mu Tiandu at 3 p.m. on the day Tiegumu was burned. In the recording, Mukua Muzi's father said: "I want to beat Mukua Muzi to death, every time I drink alcohol, I get drunk and have an accident, I ask him to stop drinking, there is nothing to do with him." We want to arrest Mu Ku Amuzi and go to labor reform, but we are afraid that it will affect the two babies in the future, otherwise we will let him go to prison for the rest of his life. ”
He promised Qu Mu Tiandu: "As my daughter-in-law, Tegumu will be cured no matter what, and as for any request from your family, I will agree." ”
Promises quickly lapse. During Tegumu's hospitalization, the Mu Kujia interrupted the supply of medical expenses. Qu Mu Zayi came forward and communicated with Mu Ku Amu's family three times, "The first time they said that they had no money and couldn't afford to be treated, and the third time, they directly denied this daughter-in-law."
"It's me who ruined myself by not divorcing"
But legally, Qu Mu Tie Gumu and Mu Kua Muzi are still husband and wife.
On October 26, 2023, two months after being burned, Qumu Tiegumu and Mu Kua Muzi had a WeChat exchange.
"I really don't want to lose you. In the past two months, I sent two (children) to school, and when they both cried, I couldn't help crying. In the chat log, Mu Ku Amuzi said.
"If you had loved me as much as you said, you wouldn't have hurt me again and again, and you wouldn't have burned me in such a way in the end. Tegumu replied, not believing Muku's words.
"Trust me. If you want the conditions to come back, if you tell the conditions, I will do it well. Mukua Muzi said.
"Then you go and turn yourself in. ”
"It's better for me to turn myself in than to die, for the sake of our two children. ”
Later, Mu Ku A Muzi posted two pictures of divorce certificates in the circle of friends, with the text: "I have all the certificates, just this certificate, I believe it won't be long before I have this certificate." ”
On the afternoon of March 28, 2024, Qumu Tiegumu basked in the sun in the courtyard. Photo by Southern Weekly reporter Zheng Dan
Azhi goodbye Tegumu, it's early 2024. Tie Gumu changed, she returned to her parents' house to live, lost a lot of weight, and the top of her head was bald because of skin grafting.
Ah Zhi felt an indescribable sadness in her heart. She comforted Tegumu to recuperate well, and the wound would be healed in the future, "Actually, we all know very well that the wound will not heal."
Tegumu recalls the happy days after marriage, when he was with his children and sworn sisters, but these are gone. After being burned, she was reluctant to leave the house, and an urge was born to leave the west and live in a place where no one knew her.
"I regret dying, but unfortunately there is no regret medicine in the world. Tegumu said that she was completely awakened by a fire. There had been many opportunities to escape the marriage, but she didn't take any of them.
Just a week before he was burned, Tiegumu also sent a WeChat message to Muku's brother to cry that he couldn't live anymore. Tegumu said that in the early morning of August 7, 2023, she was abused by her husband who returned late from a drunken house, on the grounds that Mukua Muzi suspected that she "had a man outside".
Tiegumu complained in WeChat: "You keep saying that he will get better, and I hope that he will get better year by year, but he has never been better, I can't stand it." ”
Mukua Muzi's brother replied: "That's how he gets drunk, scolding people." Sister-in-law, don't be angry, don't listen to him. ”
During the hospitalization, a nurse asked Tiegumu why he did not seek help from the Women's Federation when he encountered domestic violence. This was the first time that Tiegumu knew the word "Women's Federation". Whenever someone asked her why she didn't ask for help, she would just say, "I don't understand, I don't understand anything."
Even Qu Mu Tiandu, who went to college, only really understood "domestic violence" after his sister was burned. "As long as you beat your wife and children, it's considered domestic violence, right?" he asked, "Domestic violence is a crime, right?"
A few years ago, Qu Mu Tiandu had seen a man beating a woman on the side of the road while driving. The fleeting image made him uncomfortable, but he didn't think much of it. "Looking back now, I could have gone over and persuaded this kind of thing. "My sister's experience made him understand that no one knows what will happen after domestic violence.
"It's me who never divorced and ruined myself. In the early morning of April 2, 2024, Tiegumu told a reporter from Southern Weekend that if he could get a divorce, he would not remarry in the future because "if he gets married, he will be beaten." Outside the window, it was so quiet that only the barking of dogs and the chirping of insects were sparse, and she couldn't sleep every night because the wound was itchy and hot.
"What I regret the most is that I bought him clothes to wear. She couldn't understand why she couldn't see her good if she had done what her mother taught her and tried her best to be a good wife. "If your husband can see your goodness, that's ideal. ”
She thought of her two children again. The last time I saw them, it was at the end of 2023. Her daughter brought her a string of small peace charms with the words "peace and smoothness", which she carried in her pocket every day and was reluctant to take it out. She told her daughter: "If you have any grievances, you have to tell your mother, if you look for a husband in the future, you must choose well, and you can't let him beat you." ”
(Azhi, Shi Zemu, and Yili are pseudonyms in the article)
Southern Weekly reporter Zheng Dan and Southern Weekly intern Fu Yijing
Editor-in-charge: Tan Chang