Students, if you still think like this, you really don't understand the male mind, and it is recommended to hurry up and learn our "Interpreting Men's Hearts" lesson.
In fact, male thinking is completely different from female thinking, and today I will tell you the answer.
I can tell you with great certainty that whether a man likes you or not, whether he cares about you or not, has nothing to do with whether his lord takes the initiative to find you.
On the contrary, sometimes, he likes you very much, but he doesn't take the initiative to look for you.
Why is it so weird?
The first point: men are especially afraid of trouble
It's just that in men's thinking, they are particularly afraid of trouble, let's talk about things if there is something, why do you look for her if you have nothing to do?
After looking for it, I can't talk about it in three sentences, and I don't know what to reply, and you say I'm cold and violent, so I simply don't look for it, this is what men really think.
And when he wasn't looking for you, weren't you waiting for him to find you? You didn't take the initiative to look for him, did you?
The second point: indirect control
There are also some boys who don't take the initiative to find you, but want to indirectly control you. You have to pay attention to this.
What does indirect control mean? It's that a boy is very smart, he controls you directly, for example, if he asks you to do something, you will definitely not do what he says. So, he will control indirectly.
What is indirect control? It is to make you anxious, make you sad, make you unbearable, make you emotionally broken, what will he do by not looking for you?
It's about breaking your mentality first, which is a means of indirect control.
If you find out that your partner makes a request to you every time, and you don't agree, and then starts not contacting you, then he may be trying to control you indirectly.
The third point: personality disorders
For example, we often talked about the avoidant attachment personality, what is the avoidant attachment personality? It's that he won't look for you if he can, and he is afraid that after finding you, you will reject him.
I'll give you an example, let's say I like a beautiful woman very much, and I don't necessarily go up and confess it, why? What if I confess and she scolds me? She says I'm a toad? So even though I like it, I won't say it.
Only when it's particularly safe, for example, she also expresses that she is very interesting to me, and at this time, hey, coincidentally, I am also interesting to you. If it's absolutely safe, they may take the initiative to find you.
So what do we do if a man often doesn't take the initiative to come to you?
If a man doesn't look for you, it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, it doesn't mean he doesn't like you, if you have to use a man to find you or not to prove that he loves you or not, then aren't you just giving your own judgment criteria to others?
When others look for you, you think you are very good, and if others don't look for you, you think you are too bad, and whether you are excellent or not is not up to you, but by this man.
Not only will this make you lose yourself, but it will also make you passive in the relationship.
Therefore, we must have a correct mentality, whether we are good or not has nothing to do with his behavior.
Think about it, why didn't he look for you, you would feel bad? You feel like you're being ignored, don't you? So, tell him about your mentality.
For example: "When you're not talking to me, I know you're busy, but I feel neglected." ”
So some people say that I expressed it like this, what if he still doesn't look for me?
Students, have you been promoted and raised?Have you finished reading the book?Have you finished reading my lesson?Have you made any notes?Did you finish reading my book "The Art of Marriage" that I bought last time?
Don't you have to do these things? The courses you bought on "Reading Men's Hearts" and "365" have to be seen! You have to have your own things to do and your own independent space.
It's not that "if I express my feelings, he will have to look for me", he doesn't look for it, I allow this kind of behavior, can't I just have my own things to do?
When he found out that he wasn't looking for you, you were doing well.
You are studying, you are working hard, but he will panic and pay attention to you.
Therefore, in many cases, in solving this kind of problem, it is to respond to all changes with the same. Girls, it's important to adjust your mentality.