In India, there are no more vicious curses than:
I wish you a daughter!
Having a daughter in an ordinary Indian family not only means raising an extra person and occupying an extra bed, but also brings heavy financial pressure - when a woman marries, the woman's dowry must be large, usually up to 4 times the average family's annual income.
Not only that, but the extreme "patriarchal" concept has reduced Indian women to "accessory property" - the family is the property of the parents, the marriage is the property of the husband, and once the husband dies, the value of the person is almost lost.
What does it mean to lose value?
Either follow your husband or draw a circle by yourself and be "cut off from the world".
A widow in the eyes of Indians is not even a complete "person".
We know that there was a caste system in India that has been in place since the time of the Vedas, deliberately dividing people into four classes: Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas, and Shudras. In addition to these four castes, there is a large number of people who belong to the "fifth caste" - Dalits, who have very low status, are discriminated against, and cannot interact with people of higher castes.
So which class do Indian widows belong to?
They are under the untouchables, evil and filthy "monsters".
● Widows who fled into widows' shelters. Image source: Reuters
Although India announced the abolition of the caste system and called for gender equality as early as 1947 after its independence from colonial rule, it is difficult to suddenly reverse the cultural perception that has accumulated for thousands of years.
The ancient Indian epic "Sirapadhikanan" tells the story that Kavanan was brutally killed because he was framed, and his wife Kanaji cursed the murderer and burned the entire city with chastity fire, and he also gave his life in the fire.
There are many other Hindu myths like this, most of which sanctify female chastity and encourage women to use their lives to preserve the personality and dignity of their husbands. Over time, the custom of "sati" was formed.
Sati was a woman in ancient Hindu mythology who committed suicide by jumping into a sacred fire when her family insulted her husband. Later, the meaning of "saty" in Indian Sanskrit was fixed as "good wife" and "chaste woman".
It is believed that when a woman is buried with her husband, she can remove her sins and ascend to heaven. As a result, "Sati" gradually evolved into a social trend of widows self-immolating and martyrdom.
● A 19th-century painting depicting "Sadi".
In Hindu view, "sati" is a voluntary choice of women. In fact, most widows were forced into the fire.
The record of the relevant information is particularly shocking: "They first tied the widow to her husband's corpse, then put a large amount of wood on her body, so that she could not move, and when the crematorium was set on fire, a large bamboo pole was added...... "After the firewood was burned, the crowd of onlookers drummed and sang in unison, and the screams and screams of the poor woman were immediately drowned out in the carnival of the group.
According to statistics, in just 13 years from 1815 to 1828, more than 8,200 widows were burned alive in six regions of Bengal, India.
This cruel practice continued until 1829, when the British colonists forcibly put an end to it.
However, the rewriting of the law cannot immediately reverse the deep-seated notions.
In 1987, a 16-year-old widow set herself on fire and died in a village called Judli in Rajasthan, India, and tens of thousands of onlookers threw flowers on the altar to witness the birth of the so-called "Goddess Sati".
● More than 30 years later, it is still regarded as a "place of worship"
In the face of such a tragic suicide scene, not only did no one stand up at the scene to stop it, but the woman's family and local villagers also felt particularly honored and praised the young girl's "feat" of dying.
Until 2006, there was still a "Sati" incident in India, which caused a sensation in the domestic and foreign media.
Times are changing, and today's Indian widows, although they have escaped the nightmare of "Sati", have not escaped the torture of living.
For one day to live, "sin" lasts for one day—the death of their husbands is God's "punishment" for them.
● Indian film "Moon River"
Hinduism explicitly prohibits widows from remarrying.
If the wife is unwilling to burn herself after her husband's death, she will be seen as a stain on society and lose all the rights that ordinary married women have:
They are not allowed to attend weddings, birthday celebrations and other festive events, they are not allowed to socialize, they are not allowed to dress up (in some places widows are required to shave their heads), they are not allowed to eat meat and high-calorie food, they can only eat one meal a day, and they cannot sleep in bed......
The in-laws can let them be cattle and horses, but ordinary people can't avoid them when they see them, and they have become synonymous with "bad luck", being ostracized and expelled by the whole society, untouchable, and humiliated.
Isn't there a way out of such a situation?
Willendavon is a "way out" for them to flee.
Willendavan is a small city with a population of just over 100,000, located only 150 kilometers from New Delhi, the capital of India.
In Hindu mythology, Virendavan is the place where Krishna, the "god of heroes", lived as a child, and temples dedicated to Krishna can be found everywhere in the town.
Later, widows who had been expelled from their in-laws came to Vilendavan in an attempt to find shelter in the holy city, which was dotted with more than 4,000 temples.
● Widow of Willendavon. Image source: Reuters
They sang hymns in the temple in exchange for a small amount of food, or begged in the streets, struggling to make ends meet.
Despite the solitude and barrenness of the ascetic life, the number of widows seeking refuge continued unabated.
Soon, the number of widows in the town exceeded 10,000, and the former holy city became known as the "City of Widows".
In recent years, the local government and charitable organizations have set up several shelters for widows in Willendavan in an attempt to provide shelter, food and a small subsistence allowance for those who have lost their dependencies.
● A widow is making a bed at her residence. Image source: Reuters
Unfortunately, the situation of the widows is still "dark".
From the moment they lost their husbands, their fates were completely rewritten. Behind almost every widow who goes to Villandavan hides an unknown bitterness and helplessness.
Mukti, who is from West Bengal, died her husband at the age of 40. The two sons not only refused to take care of her, but also tried every means to drive her away. In desperation, she had no choice but to come to Villandal alone.
Another hunchbacked widow explained the underlying reasons for her eviction in an interview: "I had no children, and after my husband died, the landlord in the village took my family's farmland on the grounds of paying off the debt, and I wanted to die." ”
Many families evict widows in the name of religion, in effect to divide the property left by their husbands.
● A widow who is fetching water. Image source: Reuters
Before the sixty-year-old lady Shaktidasi came to Villandavan, she was even abused by her son and daughter-in-law, and finally the son broke her leg cruelly, so that the woman's life with her family was completely broken.
However, Villandavon is no paradise either, and the widows who gather here may encounter various potential dangers, such as human traffickers and pimps, in addition to embarrassment.
Indian female director Deepa Mehta once used Willendavan in the 30s of the 20th century as the background to shoot a movie called "Moon River".
● "Moon River" poster, formerly known as "Water"
In the film, after arriving in Villandavon, the young and beautiful widow Carrie is often forced by the director of the widow's house to sell her body in the rich villa on the other side of the river for the pleasure of the rich in exchange for the supplies of the widow's house.
By chance, Kali meets Narayan, an open-minded aristocratic young man, and rekindles hope for life. But soon, Carrie discovers that Narayan's father is actually the "spring buyer" she once served. In shame, Carrie chose to walk into the "holy river" Moon River and end her life.
●《Moon Liang River》剧照
At the end of the film, a line of subtitles stands out:
"In 2001, there were 34 million widows in India who were still suffering from the provisions of the Manu Code more than 2,000 years ago. ”
●《Tsukiryo River》Katao Subtitle
According to statistics, as of 2018, there are more than 46 million widows in India. How much has their situation changed today?
In the Indian state of Maharashtra, in a place called Rangmar Village, you will see many women, carrying two large aluminum cans on their heads, walking 30 miles to a well, and then carrying 30 pounds of water cans, and then walking 30 miles home.
In this way, there will be two or three trips back and forth in a day.
The high temperature of more than 40 degrees Celsius made the stinging sensation come from the soles of their feet, and if they were not careful, some women would faint from heat stroke on the side of the road.
However, these women with jugs on their heads never thought of stopping - fetching water is both a task and a way out.
Ram is part of this team.
In the evening, after serving her husband Bhagat, she calmly drank the foot-washing water.
● Bhagat and his three wives, the first on the right is Ram
In the village of Jeanmar, Ram, along with the other women who fetch water, has a special nickname, the "Water Wife".
As the name suggests, their main task every day is to fetch water.
Due to the extreme shortage of water in the village, it is not only a problem for the village to irrigate, but also for the people to have daily water supply.
In order to solve the family's water problem, the "water wife" came into being. Men "marry" many women and serve as water porters in the household.
Although there is a word "wife" on the title of "water wife", her status is low, she is not protected by law, she cannot have children, and she must obey the dispatch of her legitimate wife. At most, he is a high-level slave in the family, and in addition to carrying heavy loads and fetching water, he often has to do a lot of chores, such as taking care of the baby, washing dishes, and cleaning up the garbage......
To be such a humble "water wife", what is the picture?
Because most of them are widows, do not want to be buried for their husbands, and have nowhere to go, the "water wife" has become the best choice: to live in the second family as a wife, to solve the problem of food and housing, to be recognized by society, to get basic respect.
Ram drank the basin of foot-washing water, not to her liking, but to follow the custom as a way to prove her "loyalty" to her husband.
They would rather carry a 30-pound jug of water on their heads and endure the torture of the scorching sun than live alone as widows.
In other villages in the Indian state of Rajasthan, however, the choice is even more difficult for widows.
The proximity of these villages to the sandstone mining areas of Rajasthan is characterized by rugged mountain roads and constant traffic, and most of the men in the villages have no choice but to work in the nearby mines.
● An open-pit mine somewhere in Rajasthan
The harsh environment of dusty air and near-zero personal protection soon allowed an occupational disease to spread in the mine - silicosis.
Silicosis is a respiratory disease with a high fatal rate, caused by patients inhaling silica dust from building materials such as quartz and sand.
Sheila's 68-year-old husband died of silicosis: "It started with a cough and he thought he had tuberculosis. He worked all day during the day, drank all night at night, and was gone soon after. ”
This is not an isolated case, and the more than 80 women in the village are widowed for the same reason – their husbands went to the mines and died of silicosis.
Gradually, a number of "widow's villages" began to appear around the mine.
● Widows in the village of Budpura
Rada, from the village of Budpura, watched her loved ones leave one by one: her husband, her eldest daughter and her husband's two brothers...... As if it was an inescapable fate, she was soon diagnosed with silicosis herself.
Doctors advised her to stay away from construction sites and dust, but she had children to feed and had no choice.
My husband is dead, and life has to go on.
The Ladas, who had no choice, silently shouldered the burden of supporting their families.
However, how can they make a living without higher education and no special skills?
● The widows are moving stones
Next to the village, the dusty mines became their only option.
So in the dust, under the "unlucky" gaze of others, the widows wearing saris got together and began the race against death:
It takes about five minutes to chisel a small pebble with an axe, which can be exchanged for one rupee (about 0.1 yuan), and young and middle-aged laborers can chisel more than 100 pebbles a day, which the widows obviously can't do.
● A young woman is chiseling pebbles
Feeding a family of four requires at least 10,000 rupees (about 900 yuan) per month, and whether the widows can fill their stomachs with the money they earn from work.
In desperation, many widows had to bring their children to the mine to earn money together, and they were threatened by the dust.
It's as if a kind of whirlpool is formed, and the harder you try to make money, the faster you get closer to death.
Widow Mamta felt alive, but only to survive.
But she still wants to live a little longer, for poignant reasons:
My kids haven't settled in yet.
46 million, put into the population of 1.4 billion India, it seems so insignificant.
But as human beings, everyone is unique and different.
Under the same blue sky, why should they suffer all this abuse, discrimination, oppression and expulsion in silence?
In 2013, with the encouragement of progressives, the widows of Willendavan stepped out of their rooms for the first time to participate in the Indian festival of Holi (the traditional Hindu New Year) to welcome a new beginning in a sky of flowers and colored powder.
● On Holi 2018, Indian widows were covered in colored powder. Image source: AFP
But public opinion still does not let them go, and social prejudice is still deep-rooted.
In recent years, India's Supreme Court has begun to pay attention to groups of widows, asking the government to provide them with the necessary food and medical assistance.
But how many widows' lives can be illuminated by this glimmer of light, no one can give an answer.
Perhaps, only when "having daughters" is no longer a curse, the most vulnerable women in India will be able to hold their heads high and become whole people. Text/Yu Yezi