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My name is Li Ming, I am 38 years old and I am a middle school Chinese teacher. Last year, I divorced my ex-wife, Zhang Yan, and I lived with our 10-year-old son, Xiao Ming. The reason for the divorce is simple, the relationship can no longer be maintained, and we decided to break up and not hurt each other. Although we live apart, Xiao Ming and I have a good relationship, and we are each other's closest family.
The Lunar New Year is the most solemn traditional festival of the Chinese, and the customs of family reunion, ancestor tomb visit, Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, firecrackers for children, and the distribution of New Year's money make us look forward to the New Year infinitely. When I was a child, my parents, grandparents, and aunts and I always celebrated the New Year together. Parents often say: "After the Chinese New Year, the family is reunited." "I yearn for this family affection and warmth in my heart.
As the New Year approached, I began to be busy shopping for New Year's goods, while Xiao Ming was in charge of cleaning. The home is freshly washed, and the smell of the New Year is getting stronger. Looking out the window at the red lanterns hanging high, I look forward to celebrating the festive season with my family and friends.
"Wow, that's a lot of places!" Xiao Ming looked at the list and was a little dissatisfied, "Dad, are we going to be on the road for several days in a row?"
I comforted: "These are all our relatives, we have to visit them during the Chinese New Year, don't you want to meet grandpa and grandpa?"
Early in the morning, we set off for my grandmother's house. Xiao Ming was a little reserved, but when he saw his amiable grandmother, he quickly cheered up.
"Happy New Year, Xiao Ming is so tall!" Grandma happily sent a red envelope to Xiao Ming.
"Happy New Year, Grandma! I'm almost half as tall as you. Xiao Ming smiled and snuggled up to his grandmother.
I smiled, feeling a little uncomfortable. Xiao Ming seemed a little embarrassed and hid beside me.
Back in the car, Xiao was visibly tired. "Dad, we've been two days away today, and I feel like my legs are about to break. "
I patted him on the head and said, "Okay, just hold on for a few more days, don't you want to see grandpa and grandma?"
Xiao Ming didn't say anything, I looked at his side face, and I knew it in my heart. As a divorced family, they have to run between relatives every Chinese New Year, and this traditional custom is too tiring for children.
"Am I too complacent? For the sake of the so-called 'tradition', have I brought too much burden to Xiao Ming? Family affection is precious, but can we express it in a more humane way? Xiao Ming is only 10 years old, he needs not only family affection, but also a relaxed and happy childhood. "
Looking at my son's tired eyes, my heart almost broke. I made up my mind, took his little hand and said, "No, starting this year, we won't have to do this anymore." "
Xiao Ming's fever subsided, and I began to communicate with my family one by one. First, I called my mom and explained my thoughts and decisions.
"Huh, no more relatives?" My mother said in surprise, "But, we are a family, how can we not be together during the Chinese New Year?"
I said, "Mom, I know you have good intentions, but have you ever thought about Xiao Ming's feelings? As a divorced family, we are running around every year, which brings too much burden to our children. We can pick a time and we can all get together for a reunion. "
Mom was silent for a moment, and finally said, "Yes, you are indeed too tired. Then listen to you, as long as you can give Xiao Ming a happy year. "
I was relieved and called other relatives to explain. Most people, although they didn't understand it, eventually respected my decision. Looking at Xiao Ming's happy smiling face, I knew I had made the right choice.
In addition to receiving understanding from my family, I also received doubts and accusations from some relatives. For example, Zhang Yan's mother was very unimpressed.
"What a terrible decision are you! What is it that you don't even go to see your own relatives in the new year? Don't you treat us as relatives?"
In the face of my mother-in-law's reproach, I struggled very inwardly. On the one hand, I understand that she represents the traditional understanding of family affection in Chinese; On the other hand, I also firmly believe that my decision is for the good of Xiao Ming.
Eventually, I patiently explained my thoughts to my mother-in-law: "Mother-in-law, of course I treat you as relatives, but Xiao Ming is only 10 years old, and it is too tiring to run around the whole holiday. Wouldn't it be better if we could choose a time and get together for a reunion?"
The mother-in-law was silent for a moment and sighed: "Okay, you can make your own decisions." Just don't forget your loved ones. "
I nodded, my heart full of determination. Yes, I didn't forget about family affection, but I wanted to express it in a more human way.
In this way, Xiao Ming and I started a new life of annual leave. Instead of running around, we enjoyed a relaxing New Year at home. Xiao Ming doesn't have to get up early to rush and sleep until he wakes up naturally; We also prepared a variety of board games and had a very happy time.
"Dad, this year's Chinese New Year is amazing! Can we play more games?" Xiao Ming said happily.
Looking at my son's bright smile, I was overjoyed. Yes, you should let your child have a happy New Year, instead of burdening him too much.
In the evening, I sat alone in the living room, reflecting on the true meaning of family affection. Family affection is precious, but it does not mean that we should stick to some formalistic practices. More importantly, we should be considerate of the actual needs of each family member and express our care in the most humane way.
"You have a point. Xiao Li said approvingly, "Tradition is good, but if you stick to it reluctantly, it will backfire, and it will be meaningless." The key is to take care of your family and not copy some practices stiffly. "
I smiled and nodded, feeling from the bottom of my heart that I had finally found the true meaning of family affection.
"Xiao Ming, there may be some changes in life in the future, but as long as we manage it carefully, we will definitely be able to live a happier life. "
Xiao Ming smiled and said, "I believe Dad, as long as you are here, we will be able to live happily." "
I looked at my son deeply, and my heart was extremely determined. Yes, no matter what, I will love this family in the most sincere way.
When the new semester began, I had a few friends get together. Everyone invariably talked about the topic of family affection.
In fact, there is no one-size-fits-all definition of family affection. I said, "The key is to be considerate of the needs of each family member and to express care in the most humane way." Only in this way can family affection truly exist. "
Friends nodded in agreement. I smiled with satisfaction. Yes, this is the most important thing I learned from this experience: the true meaning of family affection is to care for the family in the most sincere way, rather than rigidly copying some formalistic practices. Only in this way can our lives be energized and truly reunited.
Although my decision was forgiven by my family, it still caused some relatives to not understand and blame. For example, Zhang Yan's mother was very unimpressed.
"What a terrible decision are you! What is it that you don't even go to see your own relatives in the new year? Don't you treat us as relatives?" Mother-in-law's words pierced my heart.
In the face of my mother-in-law's doubts, I struggled inwardly. On the one hand, I understand that she represents the traditional understanding of family affection in Chinese; On the other hand, I also firmly believe that my decision is for the good of Xiao Ming and to give him the happy childhood he deserves.
"Mother-in-law, how could I not treat you as a relative?" I patiently explained, "It's just that Xiao Ming is only 10 years old, and it's too tiring to run around the whole holiday." Wouldn't it be better if we could choose a time and get together for a reunion?"
The mother-in-law frowned and was silent for a moment, and finally sighed: "Okay, you can make your own decisions." Just don't forget our loved ones. "
I nodded, my heart full of determination. Yes, it's not that I'm forgetting family affection, but I want to express it in a more human way. Adherence to tradition is valuable, but it is pointless to stick to it reluctantly.
In addition to my mother-in-law, there are also people in my uncle's family who don't quite understand. They thought I was "deviating from tradition" and "forgetting my roots." I didn't refute it, I just explained my original intention again and again.
"Of course I respect tradition, but tradition also needs to evolve with the times and not be copied rigidly. "The key is to be considerate of the needs of each family member and show love in the most humane way." Only in this way can family affection truly exist. "
Gradually, my relatives were still a little puzzled, but finally respected my decision.
In this way, Xiao Ming and I started a new life of annual leave. Instead of running around, we enjoyed a relaxing New Year at home.
Xiao Ming doesn't have to get up early to hurry, he can sleep until he wakes up naturally; We also prepared a variety of board games and had a very happy time. Sometimes Xiaoming would pull me to play chess, and sometimes we would make Chinese New Year's Eve dinner together.
"Dad, this year's Chinese New Year is amazing!" Xiao Ming said while playing chess, "Can we play more games?"
Looking at my son's bright smile, I was overjoyed. Yes, you should let your child have a happy New Year, instead of burdening him too much.
In the evening, I sat alone in the living room, reflecting on the true meaning of family affection. Family affection is precious, but it does not mean that we should stick to some formalistic practices. More importantly, we should be considerate of the actual needs of each family member and express our care in the most humane way.
I remember when I was a child, my parents always dragged us to our relatives. At that time, I was very tired, but out of respect for my elders, I could only force a smile. Now as a father, I prefer that Xiao Ming can honestly express what he thinks, rather than forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do.
"You have a point. Xiao Li said approvingly, "Tradition is good, but if you stick to it reluctantly, it will backfire, and it will be meaningless." The key is to take care of your family and not copy some practices stiffly. "
I smiled and nodded, feeling from the bottom of my heart that I had finally found the true meaning of family affection.
"Xiao Ming, there may be some changes in life in the future, but as long as we manage it carefully, we will definitely be able to live a happier life. I patted him on the shoulder and said sincerely.
Xiao Ming smiled and said, "I believe Dad, as long as you are here, we will be able to live happily." "
I looked at my son deeply, and my heart was extremely determined. Yes, no matter what, I will love this family in the most sincere way.
When the new semester began, I had a few friends get together. Everyone invariably talked about the topic of family affection.
In fact, there is no one-size-fits-all definition of family affection. I said, "The key is to be considerate of the needs of each family member and to express care in the most humane way." Only in this way can family affection truly exist. "
Xiao Li nodded and said, "That's right, formalism is the enemy of family affection." Family affection should be based on sincere love and care, rather than rigid constraints and rules. "
"Yes, in the past, we always passively accepted the arrangements of our elders, but now we should take the initiative and manage family relationships in our own way. Another friend said.
Friends nodded in agreement. I smiled with satisfaction. Yes, this is the most important thing I learned from this experience: the true meaning of family affection is to care for the family in the most sincere way, rather than rigidly copying some formalistic practices. Only in this way can our lives be energized and truly reunited.
In this way, as time went on, our family's life became more and more regular. Every weekend, I take Xiao Ming to do some parent-child activities, such as watching movies, playing games, etc. Occasionally, we would choose a time to invite other relatives over for a reunion at home.
Everyone was happily eating the reunion dinner, talking and laughing. This kind of atmosphere is what family affection should look like, and it is more intimate and natural than that kind of blunt formalism. Xiao Ming is like a blooming flower, growing up healthy and happy in this atmosphere.
As time went on, my understanding of family deepened. There are always new things happening in life, and I realize that family affection is much richer than mere formalism.
Once, Xiao Ming came back from school and was very depressed. It turned out that he had an argument with his classmates and was said something nasty by his classmates. I hurriedly comforted him, hoping that he would not pay too much attention.
"But Dad, he said I was a 'motherless child'. Xiao Ming said with red eyes, "This sentence is really hurtful." "
I was speechless for a while, and my heart was mixed. As a divorced family, we really lack the warmth of a complete family. But at the same time, the affection between us has become purer and more precious.
So I gently hugged Xiao Ming and said sincerely: "Son, you will always have your father by your side." No matter what happens, we must go on strong and prove with our actions that family affection is more important than anything else. "
Xiao Ming nodded, his eyes flashing with hope again.
Since then, I have cherished every moment I have spent with Xiao Ming even more. Family affection is not only a form, but also an energy that can give us the courage and strength to move forward.
Indeed, when my life was at a low point, my family gave me great support and encouragement.
That was a year later. Due to a job change, I switched from teaching to becoming a marketer. During this period, I often encountered rejections from customers, and my sales performance was not up to standard, which was a heavy blow both mentally and financially.
Every day when I come home from work and see Xiao Ming's really smiling face, my negative emotions will be swept away. Xiao Ming would hold my hand and tell me interesting stories about him at school, or drag me to play chess and games. That simple and warm time is my biggest motivation.
"Dad, have you been rejected by the customer again today?" Once, Xiao Ming could see that I was depressed.
I nodded, a little frustrated. Xiao Ming put his arms around me and said, "It's okay Dad, you will definitely be able to find a better job." As long as we are together, we are not afraid of anything. "
When I heard my son's words, I burst into tears. Yes, as long as I have the power of family affection, I have nothing to fear. After that, I regained my fighting spirit and eventually landed a better job.
Time flies, and in a blink of an eye, Xiao Ming went to high school. He has grown up, but our family relationship is still the same.
High school life is very stressful, and Xiao Ming often stays up late to study. I will make some supplements for him and be by his side to encourage him. Sometimes he was so anxious that he couldn't sleep, and I would tell interesting stories until he fell asleep.
"Dad, thank you for always supporting me so much. Xiao Ming rarely said such a thing, "If it weren't for you, I might have given up halfway." "
I smiled and patted him on the shoulder: "Silly boy, you have always been my motivation." As long as we support each other, nothing is impossible. "
Yes, family affection is the source of our strength to overcome all difficulties. It not only exists in the blood, but also in the heart-to-heart and spiritual connection with each other.
In this way, Xiao Ming was successfully admitted to the ideal university. He is already a sunny and handsome big boy, but in my eyes, he will always be that cute child.
"Dad, I'm leaving the house soon, you have to take care of yourself. Xiao Ming hugged me with tears in his eyes.
I smiled and patted him on the back, tears grooming in the corners of my eyes: "Silly boy, are you going to leave your father behind? Our family relationship has just begun!"
Yes, family affection is not an end, but a never-ending process. It will always be part of our lives and become the force for us to move forward!
As the years passed, I had entered the second half of my life. It can be said that my understanding of family affection has been perfected.
It was an ordinary weekend, and I had a few old friends for a get-together. The topic somehow talked about family affection.
In fact, there is no one-size-fits-all definition of family affection. I said slowly, "It should not be confined to some formalist practices, still less should it be constrained by narrow concepts." The key is to be considerate of the needs of each family member and express care in the most humane and sincere way. Only in this way can family affection truly exist and continue. "
My friends nodded their heads, as if they were moved by my words.
"That's right, formalism is the enemy of family affection. Xiao Li agreed, "Family affection should be based on sincere love and care, rather than rigid constraints and rules." "
"Yes, in the past, we always passively accepted the arrangement of our elders, but now we should take the initiative and manage family relationships in our own way. Another friend said.
I smiled and continued: "Family affection is not only a form, but also an energy, a force that supports us to move forward bravely. It exists in the bloodline, and it also exists in the spiritual fit of the heart. "
"Just like you and Xiao Ming, the family relationship between you is so pure and precious. Xiao Li sighed.
Therefore, the true meaning of family affection lies in this. "It's not an end, it's a never-ending process." As long as we take care of it with the most sincere heart, it will always be integrated into our lives and become the driving force for us to move forward!"
My friends were deeply moved by my words and raised their glasses in celebration. I smiled and clinked glasses with them, and I was so gratified. Yes, this is my deepest understanding and cognition of family affection.