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My name is Zhang Wei, I am 47 years old, and I am an ordinary office worker working in Shanghai. My wife Li Na and I have been married for 20 years and we have an 18-year-old daughter named Xiaoyu. At our age, most of us are already worried about our children's marriages. Recently, however, Xiaoyu said something to me that I didn't expect.
It was a weekend afternoon, and I was reading the newspaper in the living room when a light rain walked in.
"Dad, I have something I want to discuss with you. She said.
"What's the matter?" I put down the newspaper and smiled.
"I decided, I don't want to get married. Xiaoyu said categorically.
I was taken aback by this remark, and the smile on my face stiffened. "What do you say, not getting married? How can you think like that?"
"I'm serious, Dad. Xiaoyu said firmly, "Now more and more young people are choosing not to get married, and I don't want to be bound by marriage." I want to live a life of freedom. "
I felt the need to talk to my wife, so I called her over. "Listen, even Xiaoyu said so. I said to my wife, Li Na.
Unexpectedly, his wife agreed: "Yes, now the social atmosphere has indeed changed, and it should be up to the children to decide whether to get married or not." Anyway, she will have a job in the future, and there will be no problems in her life. "
I couldn't believe my wife would say that, because when we got married, both parents were very supportive. "But marriage is a big deal for a man, why did you agree so readily?" I said a little angrily.
"Don't be nostalgic all the time, the times are advancing, and the concept must keep up. The wife said, "We were influenced by our parents' ideas back then, but now that society has developed to this extent, we must also respect Xiaoyu's choice." "
I shook my head, mixed feelings. I never thought that even my wife would hold this view. It seems that modern society has indeed brought a huge impact on the concept of marriage and family.
Faced with the insistence of my daughter and wife, I decided to have a good talk with Xiaoyu to understand why she had this idea.
"Xiaoyu, you said you don't want to get married, what is the reason?" I asked her seductively.
"Dad, look at how many anti-marriage activists there are in society right now, and they are all preaching that marriage only deprives individuals of their freedom and increases their financial burden. Xiaoyu said, "And now that the divorce rate is so high, marriage is no longer sacred." "
"That's all conventional, Dad. Xiaoyu retorted, "Now that society is highly developed, people can live a free life by themselves, and marriage is no longer a necessity." "
I really felt the great conflict between traditional and modern ideas. For thousands of years, Chinese have always regarded marriage and family as the top priority in life, and "the union of husband and wife, the continuation of offspring" is a common goal. But now, this concept has been challenged and questioned like never before in modern society.
I sat on the couch in the living room, all sorts of thoughts churning through my head. Is it because our generation is too conservative, or is it because the young people are too open-minded? What is the point of marriage? I feel as if I am lost in the conflict between two ideas, and I can't make up my mind.
"Zhang Wei, don't be too traditional. Wang Gang patted me on the shoulder and said, "Now that the society is highly developed, you can live a good life if you are single, and you don't need to get married at all." "
"Yes, yes, it is up to the young man to decide whether to marry or not. Li Ming also chimed in, "Our generation is too influenced by the old ideas. "
On the weekend, I invited my parents to my home for dinner. I told my parents what my daughter and wife were thinking, but they didn't expect their parents to react so strongly.
"What?Xiaoyu doesn't want to get married?!" My father slapped the table hard, his face turned pale, "This is a great disrespect to our ancestors!
"It's just that the social atmosphere is so bad now, and they are all confused by those anti-marriage activists. My mother also said angrily, "Marriage is a major event in life, how can you deny it so casually?"
"Opinion? That is, to be confused by modern thought!" My father interrupted me, "Wei'er, you have to persuade them not to be confused by these evil thoughts!"
This incident also caused a lot of psychological pressure on his wife. That night, she lay in bed and never fell asleep, tossing and turning and thinking.
"Wei, you say, did we make a wrong decision, is it too arbitrary to support Xiaoyu not to get married?" She finally asked me.
I could clearly feel my wife's wavering. I understand her thinking because, like me, she has been deeply influenced by traditional ideas. But at the same time, I also hope that she can stick to her own ideas and respect her daughter's choice.
"Nana, you have to trust your own judgment. I said, "Anyway, Xiaoyu is our child, and we should respect her outlook on life." "
That night, I tossed and turned, and I didn't fall asleep at all. I was in a deep struggle. On the one hand, I want my daughter to be able to live the life she wants and not be tied down by anyone; On the other hand, I hope that she will follow the tradition, get married, have children, and live up to the expectations of her ancestors.
I couldn't decide which side to support. There was confusion in my mind, as if two voices were arguing fiercely: one was the firm belief of Chinese people in marriage and family for thousands of years, and the other was the individualistic trend of thought that is increasingly prevalent in modern society.
This clash of ideas is destined to affect a family and even the whole society. As a client, I will have to choose between two ideas.
Just as I was struggling with a heavy struggle, the sad news came: my mother was suddenly critically ill in the hospital due to her advanced age. I rushed to the hospital with my wife and daughter.
When I saw my mother lying in the hospital bed, tears flowed involuntarily. Her face was pale, her breathing was so weak that she barely had the strength to speak. I held her hand tightly and looked at her with bitterness.
"Mom, you must be strong, you must hold on!" I choked up.
As the mother said this, her voice became quieter and quieter, and finally she lost her strength completely. I burst into tears, as did my wife and daughter.
My mother's last words made me wake up completely. I understood the importance of marriage and family to a person, a family, and an entire nation.
Sitting on a bench in the hospital, I reflected on my previous thoughts. Yes, we should respect the choices of young people, but at the same time, we should also guide them to develop a correct outlook on life. Marriage is not a shackle, but the most beautiful part of life; Childbearing is not a burden, but the greatest filial piety to ancestors.
My mother's last words made me determined to reverse this misconception of not marrying and not having children. I invited my daughter and wife to the ward and had a heart-to-heart talk with them.
"Dad, are you bound by those traditional ideas again?" Xiaoyu frowned.
After hearing this, his wife also nodded, as if she had understood.
"Xiaoyu, you have to understand that your marriage is not only about you personally, but also about the continuation of our entire family. I said to my daughter earnestly, "If you choose not to marry and not have children, it means that our lineage will be cut off, and it is a great disrespect to our ancestors." "
And marriage is not a shackle, but the best part of life. Only when you start a family can you truly feel the warmth and happiness between your family. I continued, "Therefore, you must establish a correct outlook on life and not be deceived by some bad trends in society. "
The daughter lowered her head and seemed to be deep in thought. My wife, on the other hand, nodded firmly, agreeing with me. I know that through this heart-to-heart conversation, my family has gained a new understanding of the importance of marriage and family.
Soon after, my mother passed away peacefully. On her deathbed, our family stayed at her bedside. Although the mother was speechless, her eyes revealed endless love and blessings.
At the moment when my mother passed away, I felt a heavy weight come off my heart. For years, I've been plagued by the clash between modern and traditional ideas, but now I've finally found the answer. I know what to do.
I firmly said to my wife and daughter: "Nana, Xiaoyu, from today onwards, we must uphold our mother's last wishes, adhere to traditional virtues, and cherish marriage and family. The wife and daughter nodded, their eyes shining with understanding.
The death of her mother touched Xiaoyu a lot. In the months that followed, she became reticent and seemed to reflect on her outlook on life.
One day, she came to me and said, "Dad, I've figured it out." I can't be fooled by some bad habits in society, I must follow the tradition and get married and have children in the future. "
I hugged her happily, tears welling up in my eyes. I know that it was under the influence of her mother that she completely changed her view of marriage and family.
Xiaoyu continued: "Moreover, I also hope to live a happy married life in the future and form a warm little family. This is not only filial piety to my ancestors, but also my own pursuit in life. "
In the months following my mother's death, our whole family has been reflecting on the meaning of marriage and family. Xiaoyu regained her belief in marriage and childbirth, and her wife also strengthened her cherishing of tradition. As for me, I am determined to pass on these values to the next generation.
In this way, the concept of our whole family was finally unified. In order to commemorate my mother and regain my love for marriage and family, I took a week off and returned to my hometown with my wife and daughter.
During the few days in my hometown, my family often walked hand in hand on the field path. Xiaoyu occasionally remembered her mother's words and burst into tears. And I would hug her and comfort her to be strong and to carry on the wishes of her ancestors.
When I left my hometown, I looked at the countryside in the distance, and my heart was very steady. I know that our family has regained the right understanding of marriage and family, and that this precious value will be passed on from generation to generation in our future generations.
Time soon came to Xiaoyu's college graduation season. As parents, my wife and I naturally broke our hearts and planned for her marriage.
Xiaoyu herself also has a clear idea. One day, she took the initiative to say to me: "Dad, I have decided to marry a daughter-in-law from a serious family according to the ancestral teachings. Please help me find a candidate. "
I am not only happy, but also full of emotion. I think Xiaoyu was still a stubborn "anti-marriage activist" back then, how did she become a person who attaches so much importance to marriage? It seems that her mother's influence is heavy.
Soon, with the help of friends and family, we found a girl who was the daughter-in-law of our fellow countryman. When we first met, the girl was elegant and generous, and she was steady, which made our whole family very good.
In this way, on the first anniversary of my mother's death, we held a grand wedding for Xiaoyu. On the day of the wedding, I wore a crisp Chinese dress, hugged my wife and bride, and had a happy smile on my face.
I deliberately taught Xiao Zhao a lot of traditional life wisdom, such as how to honor the elders, how to manage a marriage, how to raise children, and so on. Xiao Zhao has all of them in mind, and I sincerely hope that he can pass on these virtues from generation to generation.
From Xiaoyu's pregnancy to childbirth, my wife and I were waiting for them throughout the whole process, passing on the traditional wisdom of our generation about pregnancy and childbirth. On the day Xiaoyu gave birth, I personally checked her pulse and confinement, abiding by the customs passed down from my ancestors.
Xiaoyu gave birth to a white and chubby baby boy, and we were all extremely happy. This is the new incense of our family! I held this baby in my arms, and the corners of my eyes couldn't help but moisten. I hope that in the future, he will inherit the traditional virtues of our family and always remember the teachings of his ancestors.
Since then, I have often held this grandson and told him some ancient precepts and stories about marriage and family. Although he is too young to understand it, I hope that these beautiful truths will take root in his subconscious.
Sometimes Xiaoyu will smile and say, "Dad, aren't you afraid of cultivating your child into an 'antique'?" I would laugh and reply, "No, I'm just sowing the seeds of tradition for him to judge for himself when he grows up." "
Yes, I just want to pass on this precious family tradition from generation to generation, and it is up to the child to decide whether he will follow it in the future. But in any case, this cherished heart for marriage and family will always flow in the blood of our entire family.
Marriage is not only a need for personal happiness, but also the foundation of the entire nation. Each of us has a commitment to our ancestors and a responsibility to pass on this precious tradition from one generation to the next.