Although I tried to control my jealousy and desire for power, my inner struggle did not stop there. Every time I see Yinren's confident demeanor in the court, I feel an indescribable sense of frustration. He was the crown prince, the future emperor, and I, although also favored by the emperor, was always just an ordinary prince.
This difference in identity made my desire for power stronger and stronger. I began to study harder and perform harder, hoping to get more appreciation from Huang Ama and even one day take Yinren's place. However, I also know how dangerous such thoughts can be, and if I am discovered, I may lose everything I have now.
Outside of the court, I also began to lay out my own forces. I have befriended a loyal group of guards and advisors who have quietly supported me behind the scenes and advised me. I even began to secretly establish contacts with some important officials of the court, hoping to get their support.
However, all this was done in secret, and I did not dare to be careless. I know that if you take one wrong step, you can be doomed. But the temptation of power was too great for me to resist.
As time went on, my influence on the court grew. The Emperor also began to pay more attention to me, and even asked for my opinion on some important state affairs. This makes me feel incredibly proud and satisfied, but it also makes me crave more power.
However, I also understand that the competition between me and Yinren has become more and more fierce. Our relationship is also becoming more and more delicate. Although we have never quarreled openly in court, the battle in secret has never stopped.
Such days went on for years. Every day, I hovered on the edge of power, both eager and afraid. Until one day, a sudden news broke the peace of the court - Yinren was deposed as the crown prince.
The news came as a bolt from the blue to me, and although I had fantasized countless times that I could take his place, I felt a little dazed and uneasy when the day actually came. I began to reflect on my own behavior, whether I was really doing anything for power, and whether I really wanted to see a scene of sibling fighting?
However, things are out of my control. Various rumors and speculations began to appear in the court, some supported me to take over the crown prince, and some opposed it. I started to be the target of public criticism, and I was stressed by both the voices for and against.
At this critical juncture, I chose to remain silent. Instead of standing up for myself or fighting for anything, I chose to back down and wait and see. I know that any action at this time could become a lever for others to attack me.
However, my silence did not allow me to escape the storm. Soon after, a minister wrote to impeach me for forming a party for personal gain and plotting against me. I knew it was someone behind me trying to pull me over. But I have no way to defend myself, so I can only suffer all this in silence.
During this time, I experienced more torment and struggle than I had ever experienced before. I began to wonder if my intentions and motives were really correct. I began to reflect on whether my quest for power was really worth the cost.
Eventually, after a period of silence, Huang Ama made the decision to make me the new crown prince. I couldn't believe my ears when I heard the news. I had dreamed of this moment countless times, but when it did, I felt an inexplicable sense of fear and unease.
I know this position is not so easy to sit in. I need to face more challenges and difficulties, and I need to take on more responsibilities and pressures. But I also understand that this is an opportunity, an opportunity for me to realize my ideals and ambitions.
So, I accepted the canonization of Huang Ama and became the new crown prince. I began to work harder to learn how to govern the country, how to control the ministers, how to benefit the people, I know how heavy the burden is on my shoulders, and I also know how big the responsibility is, but I am willing to work hard and fight for the country and the people.
In my days as a crown prince, I have always maintained a humble and low-key attitude. I have worked hard to acquire various knowledge and skills in order to better govern the country, I have listened to the opinions and suggestions of my ministers to make more informed decisions, I have cared about the suffering of the people in order to create a better living environment for them, and I have always kept in mind my mission and responsibilities and always adhered to my principles and bottom line.
With the passage of time, I have gradually won the trust of the ministers and the love of the people, I know that this is an affirmation and encouragement to me, but also an expectation and spur to me, and I will continue to work tirelessly to contribute my strength to the country and the people.
Looking back on the past journey, I am filled with emotion. I used to struggle, lost and suffer for power, but now I understand the true meaning of power - not for personal glory and status, but for the interests of the country and the people, I will continue to move forward on this road full of challenges and opportunities, and work hard to realize my ideals and ambitions.