Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
Marriage is an important decision in life, and unlike being in love, it involves more complex issues.
Both men and women who strayed into the wrong marriage are at risk of serious harm. Because of the importance of marriage, people must be extra cautious before deciding to get married.
From a psychological perspective, when looking for a partner, it is important to understand the three key information of the other party's family in advance, which is not only a strategy, but also forward-looking wisdom.
First and foremost, it is necessary to understand the character of the other person. Xiao Min shared her story:
At the end of college, she visited her boyfriend's parents' home for the first time. The boyfriend's parents showed great enthusiasm and the family seemed harmonious. However, when she meets her boyfriend's sister-in-law, all pretense is exposed.
At that time, her sister-in-law was pregnant with her second child, and it was summer, and the kitchen was unusually hot, but she found that her sister-in-law was the only one busy in the kitchen. What's more, when she wanted to open the door to ventilate and help her sister-in-law cool down, her boyfriend's mother was dissatisfied because she was afraid that oil smoke would enter the living room.
After the meal, when the others had finished eating, the sister-in-law had just finished feeding the child, and found that there was no food to eat when she came to the table, so she had to go back to the kitchen to prepare food for herself. Moreover, the responsibility of washing all the dishes also falls on the sister-in-law.
Xiao Min offered to help, but the other family's family did not object. When she got home, Xiao Min told her parents what she had seen and heard, and was persuaded by her parents to end the relationship with her boyfriend immediately. Although the boyfriend's family seems to be warm and friendly on the surface, in fact, there are serious problems with their morality.
A daughter-in-law should not be seen as a domestic worker, she is also a child that someone else has worked hard to raise. Although it is difficult for a daughter-in-law to establish a true parent-child relationship with her in-laws, the in-laws should at least treat their daughter-in-law fairly and not treat her as labor.
From a psychological point of view, a person's behavior actually hides a lot of subconscious that he is not aware of. Therefore, no matter how good a person is at disguise, his actions always reveal his true heart, which is difficult to hide.
Through the actions and attitudes of the individual, we can discern the true character of a person. In addition, small facial expressions can also reveal the true feelings of a person's heart.
The inspiration for the movie "Disappearing Her" - in the case of a pregnant woman in Thailand falling off a cliff, Yu Xiaonong's behavior was shocking.
However, after learning what his mother did, Yu Xiaonong's change is less surprising. After Yu Xiaonong was arrested, her mother repeatedly abused Wang Nuannuan and accused her: It can be seen that when choosing a partner, you should not only consider the personal character of the other party, but also have an in-depth understanding of her family background.
Family psychology tells us that the environment of a family directly affects the growth and character formation of children.
Secondly, when looking for a spouse, it is also important to have a detailed understanding of the health history of the partner and their family, including genetic diseases, major health problems, and family medical history.
In Chinese culture, it is known as the most beautiful vow of love.
But in the face of the real challenge of a partner's illness, how to stick to this commitment has become a question worth pondering. When your partner is seriously ill, it is not only a test of physical endurance, but also a great test of spirit.
I once heard a family story about the protagonist who married the daughter of a leader shortly after graduating from college. Initially, the life of the two was full of love and harmony. However, a few years later, his wife fell into a coma and was rushed to the hospital.
It wasn't until that moment that he learned that his wife had been suffering from a congenital heart disease since birth, a secret that his family's family had kept secret from him for five years. He had considered divorce, but when he thought of the children he shared with his wife, he finally chose patience and commitment.
Since then, his wife's health has taken a turn for the worse, and all the burdens of the family have fallen on his shoulders. The day-to-day burden of housework, childcare and work gave him a hard time to breathe.
Therefore, it is wise to thoroughly understand the other person's health before deciding to get married. This practical question reminds us that marriage is very different from love, and it carries more responsibilities and obligations. If the partner has serious health problems, this can be a huge burden on the family. Therefore, it is particularly important to have a premarital health check-up.
Further, parents should also take into account the financial background of the other family. Although many people firmly believe that love should be pure and flawless, unaffected by material conditions,
But it is undeniable that the economic base largely shapes the quality of life and the happiness of the family. Pursuing a partner with comparable economic conditions does not mean that you are too materialistic, but you want to find a balance and harmony in your marital relationship.
Psychologists point out that
A person's personality development is closely related to his or her family background, economic situation and surrounding environment.
When two people grow up in very different environments, their values and lifestyles will also be very different. For example, a cup of milk tea may be a small reward for yourself in your eyes, and the other party may see it as a waste.
You may think that life should be enjoyed, while the other person may think that the focus of life should be more on family and future plans.
There is no absolute right or wrong in these views, only different outlooks on life and value orientations. Therefore, when choosing a life partner, it becomes especially important to understand the other person's financial situation and attitude towards life.
If there is too much difference between the two parties on these basic concepts of life, it is likely that there will be frequent disputes in married life. In addition, if one of the spouses has poor family conditions, it may be given to the other spouse
It is a financial burden and may even be seen as a financial burden. Conversely, if one partner is too superior, it may also lead to the other partner feeling despised and falling into an unequal marriage.
Therefore, the decision to marry is not just based on the impulse of love, it involves more complex considerations and responsibilities. Before taking the important step towards marriage, it is important to have a comprehensive understanding of the other person's health status, financial background and other key information, which is not snobbery, but a sign of responsibility for yourself and your future family.
The End -
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Keywords in this article: marriage, psychology
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