There is a "three-board axe principle" within the emotional industry, I used some cases to experiment, and the recovery effect is really good, so today I will teach you the underlying logic that these industries do not spread.
First of all, I will only talk about three directions of thinking, not "three types", because I found that people's emotional types can be divided into many different types, and they can be switched at any time according to the current state of both parties.
And some small partners do not combine their own actual situation, catch a method to put on themselves, and finally the compound fails to blame the method for having problems, this kind of fixed thing may not be suitable for everyone.
Without further ado, I'm going to elaborate on three directions of thinking, which I believe can cover most breakup situations, and if you are within this range, you can consider seeking solutions in the direction I suggested.
01
Don't just give up on the entanglement, try to solve the problem through emotional collisions
If you have the conditions, you must try to solve the incident through emotional collision in the breakup, and don't resist, so proper entanglement is very necessary, provided that it is appropriate.
We all know that emotions are very high at the moment of breakup. Some people break up in a few minutes, some people break up in days, some people break up in a scene like chickens and dogs, and some people are as calm as stagnant water.
But this does not prevent the emotions from being shocked to the highest state during the time period of the breakup.
In any case, this strong emotion needs to be echoed and dealt with, unless the two of you have completely let go of each other.
This relationship is completely over, otherwise you will always be in a breakup relationship, and as long as you are still in the relationship, dealing with emotions is meaningful and effective.
In other words, if the other party has a negative emotion in his heart, the best way to deal with it at this time is to let the other party vent, and in the process of the other party's venting, you should also pick it up and give the other party a certain response.
There is an emotional collision with the other party, pay attention, the collision I am talking about is resonance, understanding, standing in line, not making you shout and quarrel.
If you do, there may be two directions:
It is possible that you will have a strong emotional impulse under a strong emotional collision, and this impulse is likely to resolve the other person's willingness to break up.
If the other party is not firm, if the other party breaks up because of a flat mood, if the other party breaks up because of emotional impulses, through a spiritual collision to produce a strong emotional stimulation, it is entirely possible for your relationship to come back to life.
We often see such a bridge, in some idol dramas, two people on the verge of breaking up reveal their true feelings in the rain, and then hug each other after roaring loudly, although the scene is indeed a little Mary Sue's blood, but it is really possible to remove the exaggerated elements.
However, it is also possible that even after the emotional collision, the other party still maintains the decision to break up, but the effect of this mental collision is still huge.
It is difficult for the other party to vent their negative emotions, if you don't deal with it, then this split period may last for a long time, and many people have to start a long disconnection because they have not dealt with it well in the breakup stage.
Emotional collision is a difficult practice to describe, it depends on both of your understanding of love, especially the other person's understanding of love.
It also depends on what you have experienced in love, and whether you can talk about the deep reasons for your breakup. Sometimes the communication is too straightforward, but it will hurt the other party more, so an effective emotional collision.
Instead, it will prompt the reason for your breakup to surface, and you will have the right way to deal with it.
02
Try to be as "vague" as possible about the breakup
If you've missed the point in time when you just broke up, or you haven't dealt with this stage.
Then you should move on to the next direction of thinking: "fuzzy" all things in the past, especially the breakup, everyone first put aside those fixed thoughts, follow my logic to think, and see if this is the case?
On the premise that the breakup is a foregone conclusion, the direction we should consider is:
Let the breakup pass as soon as possible and downplay the impact of this matter, especially the moment of conflict at the breakup, which is destined to become a thorn, and all the actions of the other party will be affected by this thorn afterwards.
Many people often write small essays, or some ways to play the "old love card" to make the other party change their minds, if you find the core of the problem in time to make up for it at the moment of breakup, it has a certain effect, but if you do it again for a period of time after the breakup, the other party will only reject you, why?
You feel like you're going through an emotional output, but you're behaving the same way you were before the breakup, and the result is that the other person is dragged back into the emotional quagmire by you.
The two of you always keep your eyes on the breakup, the other party just came out of the sadness of the breakup and was dragged back by you, and the breakup was reviewed by you over and over again until it finally became a solidified thorn.
Then you complain that the other party is ruthless, unwilling to listen to you, and ignores your communication, but what you communicate is something that makes the other party feel sad, and you have to force others to touch that thorn, who doesn't hurt?
For example, like a stack of books in front of you, the breakup is the bottom one, and as time progresses, the other books are covered one by one, if you don't want the other party to pay attention to the breakup, don't turn it out from the bottom.
03
Your self-improvement and your problem correction are meaningful
Idea 3: The reason why recovery can be successful is to create emotional impulses is the fuse, and then your self-improvement and correction of your problems are meaningful
This is also a logical mistake that most people tend to make, that is, they like to be reasonable too much. To be reasonable, you have to talk about logic, and love is not a reasonable thing, at least not the truth in your life.
For example, one of the most common arguments is that the basis of recovery is to find the reason for the breakup and correct the previous problems.
Strictly speaking, there is no problem, but it has led many people to think: find the cause, correct the problem, and restore it, which is a big mistake.
The spark of love between two people can be rekindled, not by these things on the surface.
You have to understand that now that your relationship has broken down, there is no point in maintaining the old relationship, you need to have as many new feelings as possible, create new feelings.
The purpose of I say this is not to say that correcting problems and improving oneself are not important, but on the contrary, they are very important, because it determines the possibility of the other person reconsidering being together.
But these things must not have worked much in the early stages of recovery, or at least before the idea of the other party turning back.
The spark of love must be some intermittent momentary feeling in the early stage, an ambiguous friction between words, a turn in the light, and a highly synchronized echo in a certain thing.
These so-called "feelings" are rubbed out in the contact of ordinary life, but these feelings do not last long, if you can grasp this feeling, and then interpret this feeling as love, then the opportunity for redemption will arise.
So guys, if you want the other party to think about your possibilities again, you must let the other party have such an impulse, otherwise it is likely to be "you are fine now, but it has nothing to do with me".
The above are the three different directions of thinking that I can provide, as for those basic things, I have talked about almost every content, I will not talk nonsense, if you can patiently read and execute, maybe you can achieve a compound by yourself.
Okay, that's all for this issue, if you still have emotional problems that you want to solve, you can come directly to the background and poke me to chat.