Today, it's another ordinary day. In my day-to-day life, I sometimes have the idea of falling in love. Although he always emphasizes that he doesn't want to meet new people anymore and doesn't want to hand over his emotions to others again, there seems to be a trace of fantasy about love in a corner of his heart.
It's a thought that usually pops up when I hear a sweet love song or when I see a romantic holiday photo shared by someone else in my circle of friends. Those beautiful moments seem to have a kind of magic that can make people forget the pain of the past and rekindle the desire for love.
When I calm down, I ask myself, do I really need to be in a relationship? I don't want to experience the loss of novelty again, and the expectation of love is long gone. I don't have the energy to deal with all the talk about the future, and the quarrels and cold wars that come with it.
I was afraid of being hurt for the uncertain warmth and companionship, and that indifference that I could not read back had exhausted my courage. I began to wonder if there really would be anyone in this world who would be willing to accept the whole of another person, including his clarity and turbidity, glossiness and dilapidation.
Perhaps, there is a castle in everyone's heart, which is strong and fragile, and we both long for someone to be able to get close to it, but also fear the harm they will cause. I don't know if I'll ever meet the person who is willing to embrace my whole again, but at least for now, I'm still waiting, waiting for the one who may never show up.
I may listen to that sweet song again, maybe look at other people's happiness in the circle of friends, and then tell myself that tomorrow, I still have to go on with my life, with or without love.