Thoughtlessness is usually a phenomenon in which thoughts associated with depression, anxiety, and anger recur and/or extend in the brain.
One is the depressive thinking, which roughly means that something bad has happened and there is no room for recovery.
The second is anxiety-inducing thinking, which roughly means worrying and/or having a premonition that something bad is about to happen.
The third is the thinking that causes anger, which roughly means: feeling that you have been treated unfairly and regretting that you did not fight back and take revenge on others.
To stop the uncomfortable thoughts in your brain as much as possible, try the following:
1. Don't label any thought that comes to mind negatively, but see it as a side of your inner world, where there is no right or wrong, good or evil.
We need to be aware that to say that a way of thinking is cranky is inherently critical, which can lead to expulsion and confrontation. However, the more you drive away and oppose it, the stronger this thinking becomes, and over time, it may develop into rumination, or obsessive thinking.
2. Saying, recording and/or writing down all the thoughts that come to mind without any evaluation is tantamount to pouring out the mental representation of the inner world.
Then, you listen to your recordings and look at your notes, and you may be able to distance yourself and observe your inner world.
3. Pay attention to the thoughts that cause you to experience pain and see if they contain the following four misconceptions:
(1) Absolutist requirements (feeling unfair and angry when the outside world and others do not meet their expectations)
(2) Low emotional tolerance (always feeling afraid of emotions and believing that you can't regulate them)
(3) Personalized evaluation (labeling yourself negatively, such as "I'm just a stupid", "I'm a failure", "I'm useless", etc.)
(4) Disaster thinking (over-exaggerating the consequences of things and/or projecting a terrible future step by step.) The phrase that is often used is "if... Just...").
If your thinking is highly corresponding, then you need to realize that your thinking is most likely distorting reality.
4. If we find the above four misunderstandings, we can usually use the following three methods:
(1) Dialectical Uniformity.
There are symmetrical poles in everything in the world, and any thinking has its value, and our handling principle is often to stay in a neutral position.
For example, a polar mindset that is symmetrical with disaster thinking is extremely risky, so when we have disaster thinking, we need to be aware of the precious quality of prudence that lurks here, and that being too ignorant and fearless is also extremely dangerous, and we don't need to be so self-critical.
(2) Reality check.
For example, in the past, when you felt that a terrible disaster was about to happen, did it really happen? If it did, was it exactly the same as when you were in the same situation as you are now?
(3) Look for exceptions.
For example, if you always say that you are a failure, then you really don't have the experience of success in doing something?
5. If a person or an event bothers you, and you repeatedly analyze, "What kind of person is he?" and "Why did he break up with me?" and try to find an answer, this seems to be solving the problem, but in fact it is just avoiding pain, try to accept the fact that there is never an answer to this matter, and if there is an answer, it is just that you have parted ways.
Then, turn your attention to taking care of your life and work.
6. When the thought that is uncomfortable with you is too strong, take a deep breath slowly, turn your attention to the awareness of the breath and the body, and the thought may drift away.
- Teacher Yuan