Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
In the vast sea of people, two people can meet, know each other and fall in love, and finally enter the palace of marriage, which is a rare fate in itself.
However, marriage is not something that can be maintained simply by falling in love, but also requires both husband and wife to manage it with their hearts. Just like a ship sailing on the sea, it takes two people to work together to sail steadily to the other side of happiness.
So, how should husband and wife get along with each other in order to make the relationship better and better?
01
Listen and understand
Psychological research has shown that effective communication is the key to maintaining a relationship. Listening and understanding are particularly important in this regard.
Husbands and wives should learn to listen to each other's opinions and ideas, whether it is a daily trivial matter or an important decision. Listening is not just about hearing what the other person is saying, but also about understanding the emotional needs behind the other person's words.
For example, when a wife complains about stress at work, the husband should not simply say "don't think too much", but should understand her feelings, share the stress with her, or provide some substantial help.
This kind of in-depth understanding and support can make the wife feel the love of her husband and enhance the relationship between husband and wife.
02
Respect and acceptance
Everyone has their own unique personality and habits, and couples are no exception. In long-term life together, couples should learn to respect and accept each other's differences.
The "self-determination theory" in psychology tells us that everyone has a basic psychological need to pursue autonomy, competence, and relevance.
In the context of a marital relationship, this means that both spouses should respect each other's autonomy and allow each other to retain their individuality and choices.
For example, if the husband prefers quiet and the wife prefers to be lively, both parties should seek a balance in their lifestyles.
Husbands can support their wives when they need social activities, and wives should be understanding when they need to be alone.
This mutual respect and acceptance allows couples to integrate into each other's lives while maintaining themselves. This kind of integration with each other can make the emotional connection between two people deeper.
03
Support and encouragement
On the road of life, everyone will encounter setbacks and difficulties. Husbands and wives should be each other's most solid backing.
The "social support theory" in psychology states that support and encouragement from intimate relationships are essential for the mental health of each of us, as well as the ability to cope with difficulties.
As a couple, when a partner encounters failures or challenges, the other partner should provide unwavering support and encouragement. Not only will this help the other person regain their confidence, but it will also make the other person feel loved and accompanied by you.
For example, when a husband encounters a setback at work, the wife can encourage him to face it bravely and provide some constructive advice and help.
This will make the husband feel the understanding and support of his wife, feel more confident to face challenges, and will also have more trust and dependence on his wife.
04
Common goals and values
Studies have shown that couples who share common goals and values have deeper and stronger feelings for each other. When couples are able to work towards a common goal, their relationship grows deeper.
These shared goals can be family, professional, or personal growth. It is important that both sides agree and are willing to achieve these goals.
In addition, having common values is also conducive to maintaining the relationship between husband and wife.
If two people can have similar values in their treatment of family, friends, career, etc., then it is easier for them to agree in daily life and reduce conflicts and conflicts.
05
Keep it romantic and fresh
Long-term married life can easily make people fall into a bland state.
In order to keep the relationship alive as a couple, both partners need to create some romantic moments, or fresh experiences from time to time.
Think of regular dates, trips, or simple celebrations. These activities not only increase the intimacy between couples, but also remind them of the sweet times they had when they were in love.
In short, the relationship between husband and wife needs to be managed and maintained by both parties.
By listening and understanding, respecting and accepting, supporting and encouraging, sharing goals and values, and keeping romance and freshness, we can make our relationship better.
As psychologist Carl Rogers said, "Love is deep understanding and acceptance." "Only when we truly understand and accept each other can our love stand the test of time and become better and better.