Ladies and gentlemen, before reading, I would like to remind you that although this article is interesting and philosophical, it is for entertainment reference only, and you should not be superstitious!
When the moon is full, it is lost, when the water is full, it overflows, and when it is full, it is lost.
Through the observation of natural phenomena, the ancients found that the moon will gradually lose when it is full to the extreme, and water will overflow after filling the container, thus analogizing people and things, and admonishing people to always maintain a humble and humble attitude, and not to be complacent.
Between in-laws, no matter how harmonious the relationship is, there should be something to do and something not to do.
People often say, "Leave a line in everything, and we will see each other in the future." ”
When dealing with family relationships, we need to uphold the principle of "two don't move, three don't smile, and four don't ask" in order to maintain this harmony and respect for a long time.
Now, let me tell you one by one.
"Two do not move"
1. Do not touch the belongings of your in-laws
The ancients said: "A gentleman loves money and takes it in a good way." "If you are like a brother, you also need to settle accounts, and between your parents, you should abide by this way. Although everything in the world is inextricably linked, the matter of property needs to be clearly distinguished and cannot be confused.
"Zengguang Xianwen" has a saying: "No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, and the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." ”
Money can often tempt people's hearts, and although the friendship between in-laws and families is deep, it is also necessary to be cautious when it comes to property. If you use your in-laws' property without permission due to temporary needs, although you can solve the urgent needs of the moment, you may sow the seeds of discord.
As depicted in Crime and Punishment, the complexities and contradictions of the human heart are often magnified by the temptation of possessions.
The relationship between in-laws and families should be one of mutual support and common advancement and retreat, but if you feel guilty because of financial matters, won't the gains outweigh the losses?
Legend has it that there are two brothers who have a strong relationship, but because one party took the property of the other party without authorization, it eventually led to the brothers turning against each other and the family relationship broke down. Such a story, although it is a legend, is also a profound analysis of human nature. In real life, we should take this as a lesson, not touch the belongings of our in-laws, and maintain that rare family affection and friendship.
In modern society, "money is the root of all evil." It's an exaggeration, but it's not unreasonable. In the face of money, the weakness of human nature is often ruthlessly exposed.
Therefore, between in-laws, they should stick to their principles and not move each other's property, so as not to hurt Yamato due to small profits. In this way, that precious friendship can be maintained for a long time.
2. Do not touch the privacy of your in-laws
Everyone has their own deep sea, just like the sea in "The Old Man and the Sea", deep and mysterious, hiding all kinds of unknown secrets. The old man's struggle with the sea is his contest with himself and fate, and his inner world is his most private sea, which no one can easily set foot in.
The same should be true between in-laws. Each of us has our own secrets and aspects that we don't want to be known, and these secrets are our spiritual sanctuary that no one else can snoop on.
Everyone has a past, and some of the past may not be glorious, but it does not mean that it can be exposed by others at will.
Between in-laws, we should respect each other and not touch these sensitive areas of the heart.
The Tang Dynasty poet Bai Juyi once said: "I miss people and am separated from the countryside." I felt something, and it was in my bowels. This deep feeling may be the privacy and secrets in everyone's heart.
During the Three Kingdoms period, Yang Xiu was clever because he was very smart, but he touched Cao Cao's privacy many times, and finally caused death. This is a profound lesson that history has taught us: don't touch the privacy of others, especially between in-laws.
As the saying goes, "Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read." "Every family has its own secrets, and the in-laws should keep an appropriate distance from each other and not reveal each other's scars.
Just like the old man in "The Old Man and the Sea", his inner world belongs only to him, and we have no right and should not disturb it.
"Three don't laugh"
1. Don't laugh at your in-laws' past
Everyone has their own history, in which there are some twists and turns, or maybe glorious pasts.
"If life is only as first seen, what is the autumn wind and sad fan. Who doesn't have a little bit of youth and ignorance at first sight? Who can go through every stage of life smoothly and without flaws?
Among the in-laws, we should bear in mind the ancient adage that "if a person is not a sage, who can do no fault?"
When we meet at a feast and drink and talk about wine, the flaws and mistakes of the past should not be the object of ridicule or contempt.
"The past can be changed, and the good is great", the important thing is the present and the future, not the past.
Shakespeare once said, "The best of times, the worst of times, the age of wisdom, the age of folly, the spring of faith, the winter of doubt." Everyone has been in such times, with disappointments and successes.
The past of their in-laws may be a testimony to their struggle and growth in the worst of times.
"How can you see a rainbow without experiencing wind and rain?" Every bumpy past is the cornerstone of today's glory. The past of their in-laws, for better or worse, is part of their life journey and deserves to be respected and understood.
"Everyone has a dead end, they can't get out by themselves, and no one else can get in. The past of the in-laws may be the blind spot in their hearts, and it is the part that they themselves are difficult to fully face.
As outsiders, we should give enough respect and understanding, rather than touching and ridiculing.
2. Don't laugh at the words and deeds of your in-laws
"Each is beautiful, the beauty of the beauty, the beauty of the same, the world is the same. "In this world, everyone has their own way of life and principles, which are the embodiment of their unique personality and charm.
Between in-laws, we should respect each other, understand and accept each other's differences, instead of standing on a high place and laughing at each other's differences with ourselves.
Everyone has their own upbringing and life environment, and these factors together shape our words and actions.
As Leo Tolstoy wrote in War and Peace: "Everyone has his own history, every man has his own way of life." "The words and deeds of the in-laws are a true portrayal of their lives, and we should respect this truth, rather than ridiculing their differences.
"The sea is inclusive, and tolerance is great. "In modern society, we should learn to be tolerant and understanding of what others say and do.
Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves and behaving, which are a reflection of their personality and cultural background. Between in-laws, if they laugh at each other's words or actions, how can such a relationship be maintained for a long time?
I remember that Confucius once said: "Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "We don't want our words and deeds to be ridiculed by others, and we shouldn't laugh at the words and deeds of our in-laws.
3. Don't laugh at the children of your in-laws
Since ancient times, children have been the pearl of their parents' palms and the flesh of their hearts.
The evaluation of them all deeply tugs at the heartstrings of parents. In the past, Mengzi's mother moved three times, just to give Mencius a good growth environment, and his love for his son can be seen.
In "Zuo Biography", there is such a story: Zheng Boke Duan Yuyan. The fight between Zheng Zhuanggong and his younger brother Gongshu Duan actually reflects the mother's preference and entanglement for her children. When others criticized Zheng Zhuanggong's younger brother, Wu Jiang, as a mother, was so entangled and painful in his heart.
This warns us that a negative evaluation of a child in the family is likely to touch the most sensitive nerves of parents and cause unnecessary conflicts and disputes.
There is a cloud in the "Book of Songs": "My father gave birth to me, my mother bowed to me, caressed me, raised me, and raised me." "The love of parents for their children goes deep into the bone marrow and feels the pain of the skin.
How can we rashly judge the children of our in-laws and hurt the deep love of our parents?
As the saying goes, "Children and grandchildren have their own blessings." "Every child has their own unique growth trajectory and life values. We do not have to, and should not, ridicule or belittle it.
Four don't ask
1. Regardless of the income of the in-laws
"Regardless of the income of the in-laws, it is as if the age of the woman is not asked. Although this is a joke, it also speaks to a profound truth: income, as a part of personal privacy, excessive inquiry often makes the other party feel embarrassed or even offended.
The ancients said: "A gentleman loves money and takes it in a good way." This sentence not only admonishes us to obtain wealth properly, but also implies respect for personal financial privacy.
Although the relationship between in-laws is close, they should also abide by this boundary and not ask about each other's income.
In modern society, with the development of the economy and the improvement of personal privacy awareness, more and more people have begun to pay attention to their financial privacy.
Lao Tzu once said: "Those who are content are rich." This quote tells us that true wealth does not lie in the amount of money, but in inner satisfaction.
Moreover, there is a popular saying in modern society: "Talking about money hurts feelings." Although this is a joke, it also reflects a social phenomenon.
Excessive attention to money issues is often prone to unnecessary disputes and conflicts.
2. Don't ask about family conflicts in your in-laws
Since ancient times, family conflicts have been an unavoidable topic.
The ancients said: "It is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs", this sentence profoundly reveals the complexity and subtlety of family affairs.
Every family has its own unique way of getting along with each other and unspeakable secrets, and these contradictions and disputes are often not simply black and white to judge.
"Zuo Biography" records many stories of family disputes, warning future generations of the depth and entanglement of family conflicts. In these stories, we can see that even the closest family members can become bitter and even turn against each other because of various trivial matters.
These historical allusions tell us that family conflicts are extremely complex and sensitive, and too much interference from the outside world is often counterproductive.
There is a popular saying: "Who has no ashes at the bottom of the pot?" This sentence expresses the true meaning of family life in simple language - every family has its unknown contradictions and difficulties.
Maintaining certain boundaries between in-laws and not interfering too much in each other's family affairs is not only a respect for each other's privacy, but also an important criterion for maintaining the harmony of the relationship between the two parties.
Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read.
3. Don't ask about the property of your in-laws
In this materialistic society, real estate seems to have become an important indicator of a person's success. However, there is an invisible red line between the in-laws - that is, the other party's property.
"There are thousands of mansions, and it only takes six feet to sleep at night; This ancient wisdom tells us that no matter how much property a person owns, in the end it is only the basic needs of life.
If you pay too much attention to each other's real estate, it is tantamount to throwing a pebble on the calm surface of the lake, causing unnecessary ripples.
"People should never forget their dreams from the first day, your dreams are the greatest thing in the world. This sentence reminds us that true wealth does not lie in the amount of material things, but in the pursuit and dreams of the heart.
Focusing too much on our in-laws' properties will only lead us to fall into a quagmire of material things and ignore more important things.
"I don't ask the geometry of my in-laws' real estate, but I hope that the years will be quiet and the present world will be stable. "It's an attitude towards life, and it's also a kind of wisdom. No matter how much property you have, you can't buy peace and harmony in your heart.
Between in-laws, more attention should be paid to the exchange of emotions and the cultivation of family affection, rather than material comparison.
"Thousands of acres of fertile land are only three meals a day, and thousands of mansions only sleep on three feet. "Why bother with property being a sensitive topic between in-laws?
Cherishing the moment and enjoying family affection is the most important thing we should do.
4. Don't ask about the work plan of your in-laws
"Life is like a drama, the important thing is not the length, but how to interpret it. Everyone has his own career plan, as Shakespeare said in Hamlet: "Every man's destiny is in his own hands." ”
Relatives should respect each other's career choices and future plans, and do not ask each other too much about their work plans.
In this era of rapid change, everyone wants to be free to gallop on their own career path and realize their self-worth.
Therefore, not asking about the work plan of the in-laws is both a kind of respect and a kind of understanding.
We should encourage each other to pursue their dreams, rather than being a stumbling block in their path.
As the Analects says, "Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "We don't want others to interfere with our work plans, and we shouldn't interfere with our parents' work plans.
Only by respecting and understanding each other can we create a harmonious family environment that respects each other's choices.
When dealing with family relationships, we should also learn to empathize and face each other's differences with an understanding and tolerant attitude.
Maintain a certain sense of distance and give the other person enough space and freedom.
Only in this way can we maintain this harmonious and respectful relationship for a long time.
The relationship between relatives and family is like walking on a tightrope, which requires caution and caution.