Ladies and gentlemen, before reading, I would like to remind you that although this article is interesting and philosophical, it is for entertainment reference only, and you should not be superstitious!
Time flies. As we enter the twilight of our lives, the loved ones around us may become our deepest concern, or they may become the challenges of our later life.
As the old saying goes, "It's hard to get old, it's hard to get old." What is the difficulty? Perhaps the difficulty lies in the entanglement and entanglement with relatives.
Plan ahead and prepare in advance.
Next, let's explore together which five types of relatives may become our "nemesis" in our later years.
Category 1: Insatiable children.
In ancient legends, there are countless stories about greed and filial piety, which are like mirrors, reflecting the beauty and ugliness of human nature. Today, times have changed, but some of the old truths still apply.
As the saying goes, "Children and grandchildren have their own blessings", which is intended to warn us that children should create their own happiness and not rely on their parents.
However, in real life, there are always some insatiable children who are eyeing their parents' property as if every penny of their parents' wealth is in their pocket.
These children do not want to make progress and do not strive to pursue their dreams, but are always calculating how to extract more benefits from their parents.
As revealed in "Crime and Punishment", such behavior is not only a violation of filial piety, but also a blasphemy of family affection.
There is a saying in the Analects: "If your parents are here, you will not travel far, and you must have a way to travel." "The ancients knew the importance of filial piety while their parents were alive, but these greedy children forgot this traditional virtue. They may temporarily gain some material satisfaction, but eventually lose more, including affection, dignity, and conscience.
Such children often become a big burden for their parents in their later life.
Not only do they fail to bring comfort and companionship to their parents, but they make them pay for their greed and incompetence in their old age.
This can't help but remind people of the ancient poem: "The son wants to raise but does not wait." When their parents die, do these children feel remorse for their greed and lack of filial piety?
The old people often say: "Those who are content are always happy" and "Greed is not chewing" are both reminding us that greed is endless, and only contentment can always be happy.
Those insatiable children, it is precisely because they ignore this point that they will fall into the endless whirlpool of desire and cannot extricate themselves.
Category 2: Alienated and apathetic spouses.
In this era of rapid change, we have to be wary of those estranged and indifferent spousal relationships.
As the saying goes, "young couples come to be companions of old age", they should be in love with each other and grow old together, but in reality, there are some partners, with the passage of time, the relationship is gradually indifferent, and the distance is getting farther and farther away.
There is a cloud in the Book of Songs: "Hold the hand of the son, grow old with the son." This is supposed to be a romantic scene of a husband and wife staying together until old age, but when the spouse becomes distant and indifferent, the poem becomes a kind of irony.
They are no longer willing to hold hands with each other, and may even be estranged due to trivial matters, misunderstandings and contradictions.
Think about the stories in those famous foreign books, Darcy and Elizabeth in "Pride and Prejudice", they were also misunderstood at first, but in the end they resolved the misunderstanding and gained true love.
However, in reality, estranged spouses often allow misunderstandings and contradictions to continue to ferment, and eventually become an insurmountable gap.
The folk proverb says: "Fight at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed." "Couples will inevitably have conflicts, but the key is to learn to communicate and understand.
And those estranged and indifferent spouses have chosen to escape and cold war, making each other's hearts more and more distant.
I believe that such a spousal relationship can not only not become each other's dependence, but may become a pain in each other's hearts in their later years.
When they look back, they may regret that they didn't cherish the good times they had and didn't manage the relationship with their hearts.
Gu Shiyun: "I wish to have one heart, and my head will not be separated." "This is what everyone expects from marriage, but there is often a gap between aspirations and reality.
Category 3: Siblings who are too dependent.
In the legend, there is no shortage of stories of brothers and sisters who have worked together to overcome difficulties, showing the affection of blood thicker than water.
However, in real life, there are also sibling relationships that go to the other extreme – too dependent.
They seem to be accustomed to receiving unconditional support and help from their siblings, forgetting that they should also take responsibility for life.
Such dependencies may not be problematic in the short term, but in the long run, they can become a heavy burden.
This phenomenon of dependence is not unique to modern society, but has existed in ancient societies and even more ancient historical periods. In Crime and Punishment, although the theme focuses on the moral and psychological struggles of the individual, the relationships between the characters also reflect the impact of this dependence on the individual and society.
Historically, there have been many examples of conflicts and disputes between siblings due to over-dependence. For example, in the ancient royal family, in order to compete for the throne, brothers and sisters often staged power games, including the use of other people's dependence psychology to manipulate and profit.
In the case of modern society, the long-term dependency of siblings has led to severe restrictions on the mental, economic, and social development of one of the siblings. When the dependent party encounters a problem, it does not think about solving it on its own, but immediately asks for help from its siblings. In the long run, this dependency will snowball, getting heavier and heavier, and eventually crushing both sides.
In ancient and modern times, many celebrities and wise men have warned about this phenomenon.
Confucius once said: "Gentlemen are harmonious but different, villains are the same but not harmonious." Although this sentence is talking about the way of getting along with each other, it can also be extended to the relationship between brothers and sisters.
A true family relationship should be based on mutual respect, understanding and support, rather than unilateral dependence and demand.
In later life, when parents die and children start families, this dependency between siblings can become an unbearable burden.
Category 4: Elders who like to interfere.
The ancients said: "Don't be stupid, don't be deaf, don't be a family." It means that as an elder, you should pretend to be deaf and dumb in front of your juniors, and not interfere too much in their lives.
Although some elders are old, they are still keen to make a lot of concerns about the lives of their younger generations, whether it is a major marriage event in the red dust, or the ups and downs in the workplace, or even the details of the family.
"Qi Min Yaoshu" has a saying: "When the weather is good, the amount of land is favorable, then there is less effort and more success." Although this is about farming, it also applies to family life.
If the elders can follow the trend of the times and observe the mood of the younger generations, the family will be harmonious and happy. On the other hand, if we blindly interfere, it will only backfire and cause unnecessary family conflicts.
In modern literature, there is no shortage of stories that describe conflicts caused by the excessive interference of elders in the lives of younger generations.
These stories remind us that as elders, we should learn to let go at the right time and give our juniors enough space and freedom.
There is a folk proverb: "Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, don't be horses and cattle for your children and grandchildren." This is to warn the elders not to overwork and interfere in the lives of the younger generations, and let them explore and grow on their own.
"The best education is a role model, and the best management is a demonstration. "Elders can lead by example and set a good example far more effectively than empty preaching and excessive interference.
The fifth category: relatives and friends who do not know how to be grateful.
In the complicated life, relatives and friends should be the harbor of our souls, but there are always some relatives and friends who do not know how to be grateful, which makes people feel cold.
Gu Shiyun: "Raising rice to raise benefactors, fighting rice to raise enemies." This exposes a profound contradiction in human nature: people tend to take sustained favors for granted, and even breed greed and resentment.
I am reminded of that old legend about a mysterious village where the villagers helped each other and lived in harmony. However, this harmony is shattered when an outsider keeps asking for help from the villagers and never reciprocates.
This story reminds us that ungrateful relatives and friends are like outsiders, and their excessive demands can destroy the original harmonious interpersonal relationships.
"Sun Bin Art of War" has a saying: "If you don't repay your kindness, you are not a person." This sentence travels through time and space and is still resonant today.
It warns us that gratitude is the most basic moral code between people, and that people who do not know how to be grateful are tantamount to deviating from the essence of human nature.
I often hear people say: "It is love to help others, but it is duty not to help." This reflects the rational view of contemporary society on the relationship between people and mutual assistance.
In the face of those relatives and friends who don't know how to be grateful, our feelings seem to become worthless. They are indifferent to your life when you need help, or even disturb your life when you need to be quiet, which is undoubtedly a trample on affection.
Ancient and modern folk customs and proverbs also contain a deep understanding of gratitude. For example, "the grace of a drop of water is reciprocated by a spring", emphasizing the cherishing and reciprocal kindness of others.
And those relatives and friends who don't know how to be grateful leave this precious emotion behind and only care about their own interests.
Of course, the above is not absolute, and everyone's situation is different.
But we can draw some inspiration from this: in our later life, we must learn to adjust our mentality and expectations, and maintain a certain degree of independence and autonomy;
Learn to maintain an appropriate distance and boundaries from your loved ones, and avoid over-dependence and interference;
More importantly, we must learn to cherish those who truly care for and support us, and spend a happy and fulfilling old age with them.
Finally, I wish every reader a happy and happy old age!