Contributor: Anonymous Caifeng Feiwu (Disclaimer: This article is not my own experience, it is the real experience of the contributor)
The older generation all say that if you have a child, you don't want to have a daughter, and raising a girl is like raising a white-eyed wolf.
At that time, I didn't quite agree with this statement, I thought how could my daughter be so ruthless, and it wasn't until my daughter got married that I realized that what the older generation said was not groundless!
01
I am 60 years old this year, and my wife and I belong to a couple who really went from campus love to marriage, and many classmates were very envious of us at that time, curious about how we managed to talk for so many years without getting tired.
After graduating from university, we were employed locally, and we didn't want to go to a new city anymore, and we felt that the pace of life in this third- and fourth-tier small city was quite suitable for us.
After working for less than two years, I discussed getting married, and at first my parents didn't agree very much, thinking that I would marry out like this, and the other party didn't know what the family background was, and it would be very troublesome to get along with each other at that time.
Because they didn't know that we had been talking for six or seven years, thinking that we had just known each other for a short time, after all, when I was in high school, they treated me very strictly, not asking me to fall in love, for fear that it would affect my academic performance too much.
But at that time, it was the time of rebellion, and nothing could stop me from falling in love with my wife, so this "underground relationship" has persisted until now.
At this time, I said to my father: "Dad, I still don't know what the details of his family are, we have been talking for 7 years, and you say I don't know anything."
My father was shocked when he heard it: "You've been talking to him for 7 years, and I didn't find out that you had a partner when I was in high school, you are hiding strangely and hidden."
I smiled and said, "If I had let you know in high school, your "seven wolves" might have hit me a long time ago."
My father smiled bitterly and agreed to our marriage, as long as we are happy, and I don't expect anything for the rest, because my family is my only daughter, and they are still quite reluctant, but it will be a matter of time before the man marries the woman and the woman marries.
After we got married, my parents-in-law didn't have that patriarchal mentality, so I discussed with my wife, or we should have a child, whether it was a boy or a girl.
That said, but my wife and I really want a girl, not only is it easy to raise, you don't have to save a lot of money, and you can travel and do anything after retirement.
After about a year of marriage, we gave birth to a little princess as we wished, and our family was very happy at that time, and we had a child, and my parents-in-law were quite willing.
As a mother-in-law, she also knows that giving birth to a child is painful, and it is also from that time that women understand women.
And many colleagues told me: "Don't live with your mother-in-law all the time, even if your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a good relationship, but once you quarrel, your mother-in-law will still stand on the side of other people's sons."
What I want to refute very much is that our family is not like this, every time I don't talk about it, my mother-in-law is on my side, and she will always find fault with her son, and my mother-in-law also gave me a reassuring pill: "It's okay, Niuniu, if he dares to bully you in the future, tell me, I will help you teach her a lesson, and marrying you here is not to make you angry."
This is also the confidence that I dare to do whatever I want at home, usually as soon as I rest, I will take my mother-in-law to go shopping to buy clothes, and she will not say anything about my random purchase.
During my confinement, my mother-in-law would cook porridge for me every morning, and I was showing off these to my family, trying to prove to them that I was not wronged here.
After all, after the daughter gets married, these are the most worrying things for the parents, some people are in front of the person when they get married, and they are good to you before they get married, and then they become indifferent after they get married.
In the blink of an eye, my daughter should go to kindergarten, and my parents-in-law have reached retirement age, so they took on the task of picking up and dropping off the children, which also saved my wife and me a lot of heart.
We didn't supervise her very much in the area of learning and education, because we were afraid of backfire, but fortunately, my daughter was still relatively motivated in her studies and had been in a state of high status in the class.
But we will try our best to cultivate our daughter's interests and hobbies, but who knows that she doesn't like piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, she actually likes to play basketball, my wife and I also said: "How are you like a boy, these are all things that boys like, and your little girl's family is still quiet."
We didn't listen to anything, so we had to sign her up for a basketball interest class, and every time she played, we would go to the scene to cheer us on.
Once my wife almost made her unable to touch basketball in the future, when in a game, a little boy thought that my daughter Wenwen was weak, and every time he would pretend to touch her, trying to touch my daughter, my wife was in a hurry and wanted to take the child away immediately.
But I said: "People are playing games, what is the matter with you taking your daughter away directly, at this time she chooses her own hobby, she has to bear such a result, it is normal to play basketball a little bumpy, you can't be used to being like a flower in a greenhouse, she can't withstand the wind and rain, and it's not very good for her." ”
But my wife didn't want to do so much, and said directly to her daughter after the game: "Let's stop playing basketball in the future, okay, you see those little boys have been bullying you, I blame you for being distressed."
My daughter was very strong and said, "It's okay Dad, it's all a small problem, who plays basketball doesn't have a body friction."
Seeing that my daughter said this, he, as a father, didn't say anything more.
02
Time flies, my daughter has started to go to college, during this school period, my wife is called a pampered, daughter wants to buy anything, say nothing, even if you say not to buy, as soon as the daughter is coquettish, then my wife can't grasp the wallet, men can't stand being coquettish?
After my daughter graduated from university, she didn't want to go to work in other places, she just wanted to find a job in the local area, close to home and free, and my wife and I were very supportive of her approach.
Just before my daughter had been working for less than a year, my wife had an accident.
His work is usually the most is to socialize, every time he gets drunk after the party, I have said him many times: "Our family is not a son, what are you doing so hard, and your body will be drunk by then."
But my wife's answer is the same every time: "I want you two to live a better life, I will buy you whatever you want".
Although I was very touched by what I said, I really couldn't rest assured of his body, and I was afraid that he would leave me that day.
That day, my daughter and I were already waiting for him to eat at home, but he called and said that there was a party, let's eat first, and I could only say that he should drink less.
After my daughter and I finished eating, we waited in the living room for him to come back, and at about ten o'clock, my wife came back drunk, and I complained about why he drank so much.
I helped him to the sofa and was about to give him a bowl of hot noodles to eat, but as soon as I turned around, my wife threw up directly on the ground, mixed with blood, and I quickly called 120 when I saw this situation.
After arriving at the hospital, after a series of examinations, the doctor found that it was liver cancer, and it was already at an advanced stage.
At this time, I remembered that the medicines that my wife usually takes, he told me that they lower blood pressure, and it turned out that those drugs were all drugs for cancer, and I didn't even look twice!
For a while, I fell into self-blame, and when my wife woke up, she was very worried about seeing me getting old overnight, and comforted me: "Don't cry, it's okay, isn't it just a cancer, I can bear it."
What to carry, how to carry cancer, this thing is waiting for death when it reaches the advanced stage, and it can only rely on medicine to maintain life.
After almost two months, my wife still left, and gave me a bank card before leaving: "This is the money I have saved over the years, don't be too sad after I leave, you can eat whatever you want with this money."
After the funeral, I couldn't get out of the pain at all during that time, anyway, it was the day of retirement, I said hello to my daughter, and went out for a week.
Within a few years, my daughter also found a boyfriend, and after talking for more than half a year, she planned to get married, I didn't agree at first, but my daughter was as strong as his father, so she couldn't say anything, so she had to agree to the marriage.
After my daughter got married, I was the only one left in the family, and although they were all in the same city, my daughter rarely came to see me.
From time to time, I wonder what I am doing when I raise you so big and treat you so well, and I don't come to see me once a month, is it really the water spilled by the girl who got married?
After living in the community, I want to go back to the countryside, during which I also went back to my mother's house to see, although the relatives are gone, but the house is still there, but it is too dilapidated, I have the idea of wanting to renovate, I am used to the noisy city, I want to experience the tranquility of the countryside.
I told my daughter about it, but her first reaction was disagree, so I asked why?
03
However, the daughter said: "You live alone in the village, we don't know what happened, and now that you are old, how unsafe it is, besides, do you have the money to renovate the house?"
I didn't dare to tell my daughter that my wife gave me a sum of money, but said, "I can sell the house in the city, how can I sell it for five or six hundred thousand, and I can build a house in the village enough."
But my daughter said, "Mom, you might as well buy us a house and live with us if you have the money."
I don't want to live with my in-laws, it's awkward and I can't let go, besides, you don't look at me much for so long, isn't it equivalent to air if I live with you at this time?
Then I didn't care about my daughter's thoughts, and built a house directly in the village, and when I moved in, I found that the village is really much more comfortable than the city, which is very suitable for the elderly.
I have nothing to do to play cards with the old lady in the village, and then go to square dance in the evening, not to mention how beautiful it is.
I think it's a good thing for me, I'm a little self-aware when I'm older, don't give the money to the child when the time comes, and I don't have a place to stay!