Contributor: Anonymous Fresh Dream (Disclaimer: This article is not my own experience, it is the real experience of the contributor)
As we all know, the college entrance examination is a watershed, and those who usually study well will be brushed down by this assessment, and the group of people who stay well can easily go to a happy life, which is what all families dream of, and my family is no exception.
In 1983, although my college entrance examination results at that time did not reach the level of the top student, at least it was superior, and it was not a problem to get into a better university, but for some reason, I actually failed that year!
01
Born in the countryside since I was a child, I have only one way out from a poor family, and that is to study hard!
When I was a child, my parents instilled in me the idea that "if you don't want to go to school, you can only stay in the countryside and farm for the rest of your life"!
At that time, after I was in elementary school, every time I saw other children in the village with something interesting, I would be very surprised because I had never seen it before, and I had no idea what it was.
When they want to play with other people, their parents will say, "You poor boy, don't play with our children, and my children will be poor when the time comes"!
This sentence stung deeply in my heart, and I could only watch them play happily from a distance, and I could only squat on the ground and play with the mud, not because the mud was fun, but because the mud was free and native.
When I got home when I had had enough, I asked my mother, "Mom, why do they all have toys to play with and why I don't have anything?"
And the mother replied: "Child, our family is really not as good as others, some of their parents are supply and marketing cooperatives, and some are village cadres, they must be stronger than ours, we have such a little income every year, it is good to be able to provide you with school."
Although I know that my mother's answer is like this every time, I am still unwilling, I just want to get ahead, I don't want to be looked down upon by those people in the village, they only know "judge people by their appearance", who has the strength to play with whom.
When I was in elementary school, I was always at the top of my class, and compared to the children of the same age in the village, I couldn't compare with me.
My father also taught me from time to time: "Son, as long as you are willing to learn, your mother and I are willing to provide for you, you don't care how hard we live, you just do your part."
At that time, in my heart, my parents were my only supporters, after all, no one could be relied on except them.
My childhood was lonely, few people wanted to play with me, and every Sunday, I would go to the fields to help my parents with some farm work, everyone knew that the work facing the loess was not easy to do, but it was the only livelihood for our family.
In the year of my junior high school, with extraordinary performance, I was admitted to a key high school in the city, at that time, my family's economic conditions were really not enough to support me to go to school, or my father went to a relative's house, and the neighbor borrowed the money, which man did not want to see the father who "bowed" to others because of himself.
At that moment, I had already made up my mind that I would definitely break the status quo of this family by learning!
In the three years of junior high school, I was frugal, and I could reduce the burden on my family, anyway, during the school period, I didn't meet a classmate who was willing to be friends with me, in fact, in my opinion, it is also very good to be independent, and the province is intrigued with those people, comparing everywhere.
Life is not satisfactory, but the mentality still has to be correct, after all, the mentality is the essential thing to survive in this society.
When I was in junior high school, the only teachers who were good to me were teachers, and they knew my family situation, so I was more concerned about learning, and maybe they also knew that it was not easy for anyone to come step by step, so they could help me.
However, I did not live up to my parents' expectations, and I kept the top grades in my class, and I was able to make my parents happy, and that was the only way.
In fact, for as long as I can remember, I have never eaten a birthday cake, and I am very curious about what it tastes like and why my family buys it for their birthday.
The first time I ate it was when a math teacher celebrated his birthday, when there was no one else in the class but me in the morning recess, and my classmates all went downstairs to play on the playground, and I had nothing to do.
At this time, the math teacher walked into the classroom, and she walked up to me and said, "Why don't you go downstairs to play, it's okay to take a proper break, and you won't be annoyed to do the problems all the time."
I could only reply: "I don't have any friends to play with, and I go to watch from the sidelines, so I might as well sit here and write a question."
The teacher also said sadly and helplessly: "Today's children, there are still some problems with family education, so let's do it, today is my birthday, don't go to dinner until noon, come to the office to find me for a birthday cake"!
I immediately smiled: "Birthday cake! Is it your birthday today, teacher, I'll go over at noon."
The teacher returned to the office with a smile, and I was still secretly happy that I could finally eat the cake of my dreams, and I didn't know what it tasted like.
By the time I got out of class at noon, the other students were running to the cafeteria, for fear that they would be late and all the good things would be eaten, but I hurried to the office.
When I arrived at the office, I saw that several teachers were in the office, which made me feel embarrassed, and I thought that I was alone, so many teachers were there.
Seeing me coming, the teacher called me in front of me and said, "You have to sing a birthday song on your birthday, so that there will be an atmosphere."
Although I can't sing, but I will hum along with the teachers, after singing, the teacher blows out the candles, divides the cake in all directions, I look at the cake in my hand, very happy, then the teacher asks me why not eat?
And I replied, "I haven't eaten this, I'm just curious and want to take a second look."
The teachers were surprised by my answer, and they didn't think that I had never eaten the cake, so they all said, "You eat it quickly, it's okay to eat it when you're done, it's okay, the cake is full today."
I was very happy to hear this, and I ate it hard, and I thought that I would buy a piece for my parents to taste when I have money in the future!
This math teacher was the most impressive teacher I had in junior high school, and the one of the best teachers I had.
02
Soon it was time for me to go to high school, the happy time was always short-lived, before the exam, the teacher was still telling me not to be nervous, just play normally, with my grades, it is not a problem to get into a good high school.
Not surprisingly, my grades at that time almost squeezed into the top five in our school's rankings, but as you know, some people are very talented in learning, and it's very good that I'm an ordinary person who can do this.
After I went to high school, my pressure was really big, because these three years were related to whether I could "leap into the dragon gate" fate, if I crossed over, my parents followed me to enjoy the light, if I didn't cross over, then waiting for me was only to go home and farm!
So in the past three years, I didn't dare to slack off, I hardly left any free time for myself, and only when I was in physical education class, I would relax a little.
In my opinion, my high school classmates are the best, they don't dislike my family at all, but sometimes when they see me stressed, they take me to the playground to play basketball to relieve stress, so that the string in my head doesn't collapse too tightly, and relax appropriately, so as not to backfire in the end.
Finally, I ushered in the annual college entrance examination, and at this moment, I was longing and scared in my heart, afraid that I would be too nervous to finally fail to get into the ideal university.
At the moment when I was about to walk into the examination room, I heard a familiar voice, it was my parents who came to encourage me, at this time, as soon as I saw my parents, the nervous mood disappeared in an instant, and it was more of a responsibility.
Time flashed, the exam was finally over, and the moment I got home, I was relieved and collapsed on the bed, wanting to sleep and wake up naturally, but I also specifically told my parents not to call me and let me rest well.
When I was waiting for the results to come out, I didn't eat at home and wait for death, but went to the fields every day to help my parents with farm work, so that they could rest a little longer.
Before I knew it, it was the day when the results came out, and we went to check the results with excitement, and the moment I saw the numbers, I knew that I had been able to go to a good university properly.
I immediately gave my parents a guarantee: "We can finally get ahead, and we finally don't have to live this hard life"!
My father also took a deep puff of cigarette: "It's over."
At that time, the village chief of our village came to the house to congratulate this incident, saying that our village is finally going to produce college students, and my son, who is not angry, is not doing anything.
Then the village chief asked my father to fill in my information for some reason, saying that it was for registration or something, in short, it was an honorable thing, and my father filled it in without thinking too much.
During this time, I was looking forward to my acceptance letter day and night, but I couldn't wait for it from beginning to end, and I went to the village chief's house to ask if anyone had mailed my letter.
And the village chief's answer has always been no, and I still wonder if I am on the list?
It's impossible to fall off the list, with my scores, the schools I applied for are more than enough to get into, how can I fail the list, but I waited until the start of the university, and I haven't been able to wait for my admission letter.
For a while, I didn't know how to face my parents, they worked so hard to raise me to such an adulthood, and I didn't even get into the exam in the end, and I never understood why.
But what if you think about it, what can you do, this is the reality!
During that time, I was so sad that I also heard that the village chief's sons had gone to college, which made me wonder why his grades could be admitted to university, but mine could not.
My father was also very helpless, so he said, "Otherwise, let's farm at home, build a few greenhouses, and let's grow tomatoes."
What else can be done, at that time, without a degree, you could not move an inch in society.
03
This kind of life has been lived year after year, and the life of the village chief's family I watched how to get better step by step, just because his son went to college, and directly entered a company after graduating from college, and his position was also promoted step by step, driving his family's economic conditions can be called easy.
I also dreamed of living like this, and if I had been admitted to university at that time, would it be like this?
In the blink of an eye, I have been planting greenhouses for twenty or thirty years, and I have long forgotten about my youth.
Just when I was about to go to the village chief's house that day to discuss whether I could build another greenhouse, I was just about to knock on the door and go in, when I heard the village chief and his wife talking: "You say, if we didn't let our son go to college for that child, wouldn't we be able to live such a good life, this small western-style building has also been built, and I heard my son say that his pension will be a lot by then, at least more than 8,000 yuan!"
As soon as I heard this, I rushed into the house and asked them, "What did you say? Your son went to college instead of me? How can you do this!"
When they saw me, they were all stunned, and they didn't know how to answer me, but they begged me for forgiveness.
How can I forgive them for such a thing, what else can I do now!