(The article is based on personal statements, represents personal views, and is for reference only)
I am 34 years old, from Xianyang, Shaanxi, and currently live in Shenzhen, and am a host. In my impression, before the age of twenty-seven or eighteen, I was under the control of my mother.
It's like my mother's cultivation of me, she has a certain utilitarian nature. If I can get in the top three, she has to ask me to take the first place, otherwise she will be unhappy.
If you accidentally get out of the top ten, go home and look at her face.
In my memory, she is very strict with me, I do my homework at home, and I will often be monitored by her, not necessarily when, she will look out to see what I am doing?
I grew up in this environment, and it was really depressing. If I had a child in the future, I would never ask my child to do that, even if he was the last in the exam.
I will tell him, okay child, have a mother with you. Perhaps, when I was growing up, my mother brought me a lot of unhappiness, so I thought this way.
As soon as I graduated from university, I chose Beipiao, and after I came to Beijing, I met a beautiful woman who taught me a lesson.
This beauty said that she came back from studying in the UK and is currently working as a teacher at an English training institution in Beijing, and she said that their institution has requirements for her.
If she can't open a single order this month, she will be fired, let me help her.
I thought she was pitiful.
However, I had just arrived in Beijing and did not have much money on me. However, I chose to help her.
She called someone from the bank who could take out a loan.
This loan directly swiped away my 20,000 yuan, and there are 40,000 yuan to be deducted, a total of 60,000 yuan of loans. I haven't made any money yet, so I have an extra foreign debt, and it took me three years to pay off the 60,000 yuan of foreign debt.
At that time, I was not deeply involved in the world, and I didn't know that I had been deceived.
In those years, I worked in the company, and most of the time I lived by eating instant noodles, and I also bought bagged instant noodles.
If you want to drink water, you will receive tap water from the company because you can't afford pure water. I don't dare to talk about my boyfriend, because I have a lot of foreign debts, and if the man knows, he will definitely be scared away.
I felt that I couldn't pay off my debts, and I was not qualified to be in love.
But love is coming.
I had just graduated two years ago, when I was twenty-two or three years old, and my relatives in my hometown told me about my in-laws, and the other party was a young man in business in Xianyang.
The business is very big, and he is worth tens of millions in his twenties.
However, he has a high school education.
Of course, the ability to make money has nothing to do with academic qualifications. He fell in love with me at first sight, and if I chose to marry him at that time, it would be equivalent to marrying directly into a wealthy family.
However, the debt on me has not been paid off, which makes me think of one thing, that is, if one day he goes bankrupt, if I want to pay the debt with him, can I do it?
I thought about it and felt like I couldn't do it. I couldn't share the weal and snow with him, so I replied to him with a text message, saying that he should find one in Xi'an and get married quickly.
We both added contact information, and he was very upset to get such a reply from me.
He told me, did he look down on him, did he think his education was too low?
He also said that there were a large number of doctors and masters in Xi'an, and they lined up to go on a blind date with him, but they were all rejected by him.
Say I don't know what to do.
I didn't reply, let alone block him, and we never got in touch again. After that, my mom told me that after I rejected him, he soon got married and had children.
I returned to Beijing to continue to pursue my dream, and in 2016, my salary was significantly raised, and the previous arrears were finally paid off this year.
I can also be like a normal person and live some normal life.
Also in this year, the rich blind date, he suddenly texted me, he said, he is bankrupt, with tens of millions of debts.
It was the right choice to say that I didn't choose him and that I didn't marry him.
I don't know why he's telling me this?
Perhaps, it's because we've only been on a blind date and don't know each other very well, and he has a very depressed life in his heart, and no one to talk to, so he chose to chat with me, right?
It was also after going through this that I felt that marrying a rich man was a temptation and a trap. Because when you can't make money on your own, you can't control your destiny.
If I really chose to marry him, I would have been burdened with tens of millions of debts, and I am afraid that I would not be able to pay it off in the Year of the Monkey. Although I am not rich and wealthy now, my life is full of momentum.
So in the face of temptation, it may also be a trap, and the girl still has to rely on herself.
I worked as a host in Beijing, and my income increased year by year, but in the end, I chose to go to Shenzhen and became a deep drifter. When I arrived in Shenzhen, I realized that the price to pay for changing cities is very high.
I earn a lot less in Shenzhen than in Beijing.
However, seeing the blue sky and white clouds of Shenzhen, you can go to the beach on weekends, and you can also go to Hong Kong with your girlfriends to climb mountains. I feel that my quality of life has improved, so I don't regret coming to Shenzhen.
Although in Shenzhen there is not as much money as in Beijing.
I didn't fall in love until I was 30 years old, because I didn't think I was worthy of being in love, your wealth was not yet free, and I felt a little inappropriate if I chose to marry. Before the age of 30, I shouldn't have love.
If someone of the opposite sex invites me to dinner, I ask myself, why does he spend so much money to invite me to dinner?
I have to please go back.
Because the cost of this kind of dinner is too high, I usually don't go to the appointment casually and let the opposite sex invite me to dinner. I think it's good that I'm living alone.
Sometimes I even feel that I will never get married in my life.
However, in the last two years, my view of marriage has changed again. That's because when I went back to my hometown for the New Year, I saw that my cousins and cousins all had their own families.
also has children, and the family is happy together.
This kind of fireworks in the world is still very healing. All of a sudden, I also dreamed that I could find a boyfriend and have children in our common relationship.
There are still many people like me in Shenzhen, who are tired from a hard day, and when they come home, there is a light that is on for you, and there is a person waiting for you to come home.
This is also a kind of happiness.
What's more, the previous blind date, we have now become friends. Although I also longed for love, I have never met the right one.
Why don't you fall in love yet, it's true that because I was poor before, I had low self-esteem, and I didn't have the courage to fall in love at all. Now I still have low self-esteem, and boys who are slightly better feel that they are not worthy, afraid that they will not get along, and that there will be conflicts.
That's why I've always been single.