On the second day of Qingming, my cousin's mother-in-law fell ill and died, and a funeral banquet was held in the city. My sister called and asked my mother if she wanted to give a gift.
After asking about business, we chatted for a while. My sister told us that my cousin-in-law did not allow my aunt to attend the funeral, and the relationship between mother and son-in-law dropped to a freezing point.
The eldest aunt is the cousin's mother-in-law, and she is naturally the cousin-in-law's mother-in-law. The son-in-law did not allow his mother-in-law to appear at his mother's funeral, and it was obvious that the two had a deep grudge.
Speaking of the conflict between their mother and son-in-law, it has been a long time, and it has to start from the blind date.
01
My cousin was born in 79 and belongs to a typical career-fighting woman.
When she graduated from secondary school, her family got a commission training index and found her a job. But my cousin thinks that the salary is low, and she only has one name in the unit, but she works hard all year round.
It's just that the ideal is very plump, and the reality is very skinny. Because she has no education, no connections, and no background, my cousin went back to her hometown to work after 10 years of fruitless wandering in several big cities.
That year, she was 33 years old.
The eldest is not young, he has no money in his bag, he has no boyfriend around him, and he is anxious about his aunt and uncle.
The old couple thought that their daughter would go out for a while, without any financial resources, at least mix up her popularity, and find a high-quality son-in-law who can support the façade. But now, I haven't made any money or people, and I'm getting older in vain.
You must know that in our rural areas, it is difficult for elderly women to marry into a good family, even if they work in a state unit.
The aunt asked someone to talk to the matchmaker again and again, forcing her cousin to go on a blind date. My cousin-in-law is one of them.
My cousin-in-law is tall and talented, and he is the director of the teaching department of a school in our city.
Such an excellent person, there is a regret, he is a second marriage. divorced his ex-wife a year ago, and his daughter was sentenced to him, who was seven or eight years old at the time, and was taken care of by his cousin-in-law's mother on weekdays.
Originally, my cousin was reluctant to marry. I'm still a yellow flower girl, how can I marry a second-married man!
It's just that my cousin went on a blind date again and again, and I saw either a divorced man, a widowed man, or an older man, who was either short or obscene, only my cousin-in-law was right with my cousin in appearance.
Eventually, the cousin relented.
After losing her career to reality, her marriage also lost to reality.
02
After marriage, my cousin-in-law loved my cousin very much and obeyed my cousin's arrangement in almost everything.
For example, my cousin is married for the first time, and she doesn't want to have another daughter in her life for no reason. Without saying a word, his cousin-in-law asked his mother to take her daughter to live in the countryside.
As long as he does not encounter problems of principle, his cousin-in-law is a strict wife; when he touches on problems of principle, his cousin-in-law seems to become a domineering man who does not recognize his six relatives.
My cousin is a very rigid character, and it just so happens that her mother-in-law is also a fierce character. During her confinement, her mother-in-law brought her eldest granddaughter to her cousin's house to serve the confinement child, and the two were under the same roof, and the relationship continued to deteriorate.
Not long after the confinement, my cousin had a big quarrel with her mother-in-law, and the two of them also started to fight.
The cousin-in-law stood in the middle, criticized the mother and the wife, and decided to ask the nanny to take the children and send the mother and eldest daughter back to the country, not allowing them to live together.
When my aunt heard about it, she quit.
When her daughter married into his family, she didn't know how to cherish it, and now her mother-in-law doesn't have children, she can't swallow this breath.
So, she took a car to her cousin-in-law's hometown and scolded her cousin-in-law's mother.
After his cousin-in-law found out, he said to his cousin:
"I will never step into your mother's door in this life!"
03
The cousin thought he was talking angry, but it turned out that he did what he said.
After 11 years of marriage, he went to his mother-in-law's house once, and that was before his aunt quarreled with his mother. After the quarrel, he never went again, nor did he give money to his mother-in-law.
As for the cousin's subsidy to her mother's family, the cousin-in-law doesn't care. As for his money, he was only responsible for his family's expenses and never gave much money to his cousin.
My cousin has been married for so many years, and I haven't seen my cousin-in-law yet. Therefore, the man is ruthless, and the six relatives don't recognize it.
Now, my cousin-in-law's mother has passed away, and my aunt wants to take this opportunity to ease the relationship with her son-in-law, so she wants to go to the door to pay respects.
But my cousin-in-law refused.
On the day of the funeral, the uncle went, and the aunt stayed at home alone, full of loneliness and disappointment. What she was disappointed was not that she couldn't pay tribute to her deceased in-laws, but that she knew that she would never have the chance to reconcile with her son-in-law in this life.
I've always admired a kind of marriage: a young couple and an old couple. The original husband and wife, know and love each other, have a little more tacit understanding and cherishment, and can also have more tolerance and understanding for the parents of both parties.
Halfway couples, there is a gap between the two of them, and they have their own little abacus in their hearts, not to mention the treatment of their parents.
The cousin-in-law is so ruthless and resolutely refuses to recognize his mother-in-law, in addition to resenting her for humiliating his mother back then, more importantly, he doesn't treat his aunt as a mother.
As for whether he and his cousin are really happy, outsiders don't know. It's just that, judging from the life they have lived in AA, there is a lack of trust between their husband and wife.
If the marriage lacks trust and is intolerant of each other's families, I think that such a marriage will be more indifferent than warm, and it will be more improvising than sincere.