My name is Zhang Guoqiang, and I just turned 60 this year, which is supposed to be the age to enjoy retirement, but I am busier than when I went to work. What are you busy with? Serving my 91-year-old mother full-time.
Mother Wang Xiufen, when she was young, was a capable peasant woman, who worked hard all her life, and her body was so strong that everyone in the village envied her. However, the years are merciless, and now although she is long, she is riddled with illness, which has become the heaviest concern in my life. Before I retired, I always thought that when I had time, I must accompany her well. Now, I have a lot of time, but I spend it in the hospital, the pharmacy, and the home.
Every morning at 5 a.m., I would wake up on time and go to my mother's bedside to see if she was okay. She always had her eyes closed, her brows furrowed, and she looked pained. I called softly, "Mom, morning." She opened her eyes slightly, her eyes empty and confused, as if she didn't know me. My heart tightened, but I still smiled and told her, "It's a nice day, let's go out and bask in the sun." ”
I struggled to dress her, wash her, and carry her into a wheelchair. Pushing her to the garden of the community, the sun shining on her wrinkled face, I saw her slightly stretched brow, and my heart was slightly comforted. At this point, I would talk to her about the past, although she would just listen most of the time, occasionally echoing in a "Oh, yes?" or "I remember......
For breakfast, it's a bowl of hot millet porridge with a few slices of boiled greens and a small piece of tofu. I fed her carefully, for fear of burning her and for fear that she would eat too quickly. She chewed very slowly, sometimes holding a mouthful of food in her mouth for half a day, and I could only wait patiently, watching her while recalling the way she was young and nimble.
In the morning, I would watch TV with her, which was her only entertainment. But she often fell asleep while watching, and I lightly covered her with a blanket. In the afternoon, I had to go to the pharmacy to buy medicine and go home to boil Chinese medicine, and the pungent smell permeated the whole house, making me disgusted but helpless. At night, I had to bathe her, massage her, and stay by the bedside until she fell asleep.
Days like this, day after day, year after year. I never complained, because I knew it was my responsibility to be a child. But I often ponder whether my mother's longevity is a blessing or a curse.
That day, I was changing my mother's diaper, and she suddenly grabbed my hand and said with difficulty: "Qiangzi, I have lived enough, I really don't want to drag you down anymore." I was stunned, tears rolling in my eyes, but I pretended to be relaxed and said, "Mom, what do you say? You are in good health, live a few more years, and I want you to hold your grandson!" She smiled bitterly and did not speak again.
At that moment, I understood that the premise of longevity is health, and an unhealthy longevity is a kind of torture for the elderly themselves and for the people who take care of them.
I began to reflect on whether I had taken too much care of my mother and deprived her of the joy of life? Should I encourage her to do more of what I could to make her feel worthy? Should I take her to see the outside world and let her soul be nourished?
I began to encourage my mother to eat on her own, and although she ate slowly and scattered everywhere, I noticed that there was a little more energy in her eyes. I took her for a walk in the park, and although she couldn't walk a few steps before she had to rest, I saw that the smile on her face was brighter than ever. I taught her how to use a smartphone, and although she was a slow learner and often forgot how to do it, I found that her curiosity about new things was ignited.
I also started to pay attention to her mental health. I found some geriatric psychology books to learn how to communicate effectively with her and how to help her cope with loneliness and anxiety. I encouraged her to tell stories from the past, and even though I had heard them countless times, I found that each time she told them, she regained her passion for life.
Longevity is not only the continuation of life, but also the guarantee of quality of life.
For the elderly, health is not only the absence of disease, but also the pleasure of body and mind, and the love and pursuit of life. As children, we should not only provide material care, but also pay attention to their spiritual needs, so that they can feel the beauty of life in their old age.
Today, my mother is still living in pain, but her mental state has improved significantly. She would take the initiative to greet her neighbors, sing along with other elderly people in the park, and send me the words "I miss you" on her phone.
I am very pleased with these small changes.
I hope that through my sharing, more people can realize that we should not only be satisfied with letting the elderly, especially the long-lived elderly, but also let them live with dignity, happiness and hope. Because every life, no matter how long or short, deserves to be respected and cherished.
Text/Long Man Narrator/Zhang Guoqiang