Text: Han Shi's words
Edited by Han Shi's words
Preface
I still remember when my children were teenagers, mothers thought their children were still young. #MCN首发激励计划#
Always say in the child's ear: "You have to study hard, and only when you have a job can you find a good family." ”
And always insisted that if you want to find your children, you have to find a marriage partner who looks good and has a decent job.
But I never expected that this would become the wishful thinking of mothers, and the children didn't want to do it at all.
It doesn't matter if you have money or not, or if you are an official and a poor person.
None of them, no time for love!
In the face of this phenomenon, today's mothers are not "picky eaters", no matter what, as long as the child is willing.
But one of the things I often hear is, "It's good to be alone!"
So, what are the factors that lead to this phenomenon? Let's explore the "culprit" behind the phenomenon of "female singles".
"Because if you get married, you have to have children, and when you have children, you will lose half of the snacks, and you can't bear it."
The post-70s with a baby, reluctant to eat, leave it to the child, the post-80s with a baby, the child eats first, can't finish eating, I'm eating.
With a baby in the 90s, ask my mother to eat first, and with a baby in the 00s, I don't have enough to eat!
Why is this happening, probably because men worked hard before, and women have no money in their hands when they are at home with children, so they can only live by saving!
You see, now, more and more women are like Mulan, who can make a lot of money by themselves and have bulging wallets.
With money in hand, who doesn't want to live a more comfortable life?
Therefore, their requirements for the quality of life are that the sesame seeds are blooming and rising.
You see, some girls will still wonder in their hearts: Isn't the game fun? Isn't the mobile phone fun? The cat is not fragrant? The dog is not cute? Have you finished reading the novel? Have you not watched the movie just after it was released? Have you run out of money? You haven't done so many things yet, you have nothing to do, and you are looking for a partner to block yourself?
If you get married, your standard of living will definitely drop, right?
Besides, after getting married, in addition to going to work, I also have to take care of housework, give birth to children, and raise children, which is simply a big burden for myself.
If I have a husband who is 'hands-off' and doesn't care about anything, then I will have to be tired like a dog? ”
Therefore, many smart girls decide: instead of getting married and making themselves so tired, it is better to continue to be single, enjoy the current leisurely life, grasp their own rhythm, and live a life with quality and quantity.
They think that instead of a low-quality marriage, it is better to be single-quality than high-quality single, do you say this reason?
In addition, although society is becoming more and more enlightened, people are becoming more and more accepting of the principle of equality between men and women.
But to tell the truth, some old-fashioned concepts of love and marriage are still rooted in some places and refuse to quit.
Just like some people always think that "men have to be stronger than women", it seems that men have to overpower women in terms of making money and ability, and women have to be gentle and obedient and rely on men to support them.
When it comes to things at home, I feel that "men are responsible for the outside, and women are in charge of the house", men are working hard outside, and women are doing laundry, cooking and children at home.
These concepts are like old antiques, framing people's thoughts, so that everyone's views on things like falling in love and getting married are still stuck in the past.
Just like many married men now, there will be a spirit of rebellion, saying to female friends: "If this was before, you would have to call me master!"
Wake up! Who told you not to be reincarnated!
Today's women are not the same for a long time, they read a lot, have independent ideas, and have their own career pursuits, unlike the women in the past who were not allowed to study and study, and respected women are virtuous if they are not talented!
Therefore, when they choose a partner, they are not only looking for someone who can live together, but also a "soul mate" who can enter their hearts, understand themselves, and support themselves.
Such partners not only accompany each other in life, but more importantly, they can resonate spiritually, respect each other's choices, learn and progress together.
However, the reality is sometimes not as good as it should be.
Some male compatriots still have the same old-fashioned concept, either they can't accept that women are better than themselves, or they don't know how to appreciate and respect women's inner world.
Can you not be disappointed when you meet those excellent ladies who have insight and ideals?
They are not willing to find an inappropriate fit for marriage, let alone wronged themselves to adapt to the kind of marriage without equality, respect, and spiritual communication.
Therefore, they would rather be single than marry casually.
The matter of marriage is not like before, and the two of them happily go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get a red book and it's over.
Now, getting married, that's simply synonymous with "burning money"!
House, car, bride price, wedding...... What doesn't cost money? And a lot of money!
For many young people who have just entered the society, especially those who work hard in big cities.
These necessary "hardware facilities" for marriage are like mountains, which make people unable to straighten their waists and breathless.
Especially for women, although social attitudes are slowly changing, advocating equality between men and women.
But in the hearts of many people, they still think that women should pay less and benefit more when they get married.
But what about the reality: Houses and cars often end up on the man, and although the woman's family may not have to pay too much money, the pressure on her heart is not small at all.
Moreover, getting married, having children, and taking care of housework are all invisible contributions, just as hard.
Faced with such a high cost of marriage, many shrewd girls began to think in their hearts: "Oh, getting married, I not only have to bear financial pressure, but also have to sacrifice my freedom.
It's better for me to work steadily, spend the money I earn by myself, travel wherever I want, buy whatever I want, and be more at ease!"
Therefore, many women choose the path of singleness.
They feel that instead of suffering huge financial and psychological pressure in order to get married, they should work hard and enjoy the freedom and ease of single life.
In this way, you don't have to look at other people's faces, and you can live according to your own heart, why not?
Although society is becoming more and more tolerant of single women, and people are not labeled as "leftover women" at every turn as before, some pressure is still inevitable.
For example, relatives and friends at home ask every three days: "Girl, when will you get married?"
There is also the fact that people around you always put pressure on you with words like "women are too old to have babies".
These invisible and intangible social pressures are like a mess, which makes some women feel confused about marriage and don't know what to do.
Today's women are not the "little daughters-in-law" of the past, they are all quite assertive.
They began to realize that whether to get married or not is their own right and their own choice, so why should they be swayed by other people's gossip?
So, more and more women are starting to listen to their inner calls and stick to their emotional needs and lifestyles.
They feel that whether they are married or single, the key is to live happily and comfortably.
Even if it means staying single for a short period of time or for a long time, as long as you feel happy and comfortable, then why not?
You see, just like Xiaoli, she is in her thirties this year, and most of her friends and colleagues are married and have children, but she is still single.
Every time I go home, the seven aunts and eight aunts will come around, introducing the object and urging the marriage.
At first, Xiaoli was also quite entangled, thinking that she should really find a man to marry.
But then she figured it out: she has a stable job, has a few close friends, usually works out, travels, learns to cook, and has a colorful life, so why should she change her life because of other people's opinions?
So, she firmly told her family: "The matter of marriage depends on fate, and you can't force it."
I'm doing well on my own now, so don't worry about it!"
Since then, Xiaoli has lived more freely, she knows that she is in charge of her own life, just listen to what others say, and don't take it too seriously.
Therefore, today's women are more and more aware of following their hearts and choosing the lifestyle that suits them best, even if it means staying single temporarily or for a long time, they are willing to stick to this freedom and independence.
Because, life is your own, and happiness is also your own, so why should you wronged yourself in order to cater to the eyes of others?
Behind the phenomenon of "female singles" are various factors such as economic independence, conflict of ideas, marriage costs, and social pressures.
We should understand and respect every woman's choice, whether they are single or married, is their right.
Because everyone has the right to pursue their own happy life, no matter what it may be.
After all, there are many ways to be happy, and being single can also be wonderful.
epilogue
In fact, whether it is a "female single" or a "male single", whether they get married or not depends on fate, after all, the twisted melon is not sweet.
Of course, when fate comes, I hope everyone will seize the opportunity and manage their marriage well.
After all, parents all over the world want to see their children start a family!