Narrator: Old cadres from the southeast
My name is Zhao Minghua, I am 58 years old, and I have been working as an administrator in a company, managing many employees, and being respected by my colleagues and subordinates.
My eldest brother was a hard-working fisherman, who was simple and unpretentious, and made a living by fishing by the sea.
At the height of my career, I enjoyed the convenience and status of city life, compared to my big brother's life at sea.
But the eldest brother was never resentful or jealous of this, he always said optimistically: "You have your career on land, I have my life on the sea, and we each have our own wonderful." ”
However, the current situation is that my daughter graduated from a 985 school, but under the competitive pressure of the big city, his salary and position development are not as good as the eldest brother's daughter who has completed junior high school. This situation makes me feel very unwilling.
Therefore, whenever my eldest brother invited me to go back to my hometown, I was always a little reluctant.
I was born in a fishing village in Fujian, where the sea breeze nurtured me and tempered my tenacity.
My parents were both fishermen who lived off the sea and worked hard to sustain us with the fish and seafood they caught.
Originally, there were three children in the family: me, my eldest brother, and my younger sister. But life is full of uncertainties, my little sister died in an accident at the age of 16 in the mood for love, and only two children were left in the family, me and my eldest brother.
In a small boat by the sea, my eldest brother and I learned to fish from an early age, pulling nets, mending nets, and selecting seafood...... Every detail is engraved in our growth process. Despite the hardships of life, the warmth of home and the bond of family affection always make us feel fulfilled.
Thanks to my academic excellence, I was able to leave the fishing village and become an engineer through education.
The eldest brother chose to stay in the fishing village and inherited his parents' fishing boats.
Later, under the introduction of a friend, the eldest brother married a sister-in-law from a neighboring village, although she did not have a high education, she was very industrious and virtuous.
In the past, as the most successful child in my family, I often managed to help my eldest brother's family financially.
As time went by, I worked hard in the field of engineering. And the eldest brother is still guarding his fishing boat, going out to sea with the tide and returning with the sunset. Unconsciously, the progress of the times has also brought about changes in the lives of our two families.
The eldest brother has two daughters.
Due to the family's financial pressure, the eldest daughter chose to drop out of school after completing junior high school. But she didn't get depressed, but with her own hard work and diligence, she opened a snack bar. The snack bar business is booming, and her life is gradually booming.
The second daughter insisted on going to high school, but she also did not choose to continue her studies after graduation.
She advanced to work in a factory, and after a few years, she accumulated a certain amount of money and experience.
With the rise of e-commerce, she saw new opportunities, so she decided to quit her job and started her own e-commerce business in the county. At first, she only sold a few clothes and accessories, but as she gained experience, she began to expand her product line and even include specialties from her hometown.
On my side, there is only one precious daughter, who used to be the pride of our family.
After graduating from the 985 school, we originally thought that she would make a big career and break through in the workplace. However, to our surprise, she stayed at home for three years after graduation.
Initially, my daughter made up her mind to stay at home and prepare for the civil service exam full-time, and our family gave us great encouragement and support. However, as the preparation for the exam deepens, the pressure of studying seems to increase invisibly. I remember that in August, she could still find time to go out and watch movies as a way to regulate her mood, but after entering September, her life rhythm began to become loose, often sleeping until three o'clock in the morning, and even getting up lazily at 11 o'clock at noon, and then indulging in her mobile phone for a long time, until the afternoon began to devote herself to studying.
As the clock progressed into November, I noticed that my daughter was visibly restless during her studies, and her mood began to fluctuate. Whenever she sat down to study, her mind always had trouble concentrating, and she often fell into deep thought or wandering. As a father, I saw it in my eyes and was anxious in my heart, but I didn't know what to do.
When the civil service exam finally ended, my daughter told us gloomily that she had a hunch that her grades might not be satisfactory. Hearing this, I had mixed feelings in my heart, and disappointment and distress were intertwined.
After losing the civil service exam for the first time, her daughter did not choose to back down, but firmly stated that she would fight for another year.
As a father, I had misgivings about her decision, but out of respect for her, I did not directly object to it. However, what I didn't expect was that this exam would be a long three years.
In the past three years, my daughter did not step into the workplace, but devoted all her energy to preparing for the civil service exam. Whenever I tentatively mentioned the matter of looking for a job, she was always vague and tried to procrastinate.
Looking back, when the villagers learned that my daughter had been admitted to the 985 school, they congratulated them and expressed their envy.
At that time, I was deeply proud of my daughter, and his achievements seemed to have become my own glory.
However, as time goes on, people's focus seems to have shifted.
Now, every time I return to the village, the villagers no longer only care about my daughter's academic achievements, but ask more about how much he earns each month.
When the villagers asked about my daughter's income, which was bound to be compared with the eldest brother's children, I had to admit that I felt an indescribable sense of loss in my heart.
After all, in the traditional view of rural people, children's income level seems to be an important indicator of their success.
Looking at the financial achievements of my eldest brother's children, and then seeing that my daughter is still staying at home to prepare for the exam, the gap in my heart is not small.
Because of my daughter's work, I became more and more reluctant to go back to my hometown.
Every time I think about the comparisons and discussions I might face when I go back, I feel distraught.
This feeling made me choose to escape, to avoid scenes that might touch my sensitive nerves.
But running away is not the solution, and I know that in my heart.
It's just that at present, I still can't get over the hurdle in my heart, and I don't even dare to tell my daughter my thoughts truthfully, for fear of hurting her self-esteem.
This kind of contradiction and struggle made me even more hesitant to go back to my hometown and whether to face the pressure and misunderstandings that might bring.
Last week, Xu didn't want to listen to her mother's chatter, and her daughter got a job as an office clerk with a monthly salary of more than 5,000 points.
Although she is still a little frustrated in her heart, as long as she is willing to go out to work, it is better than being a "waste person" at home.