A netizen asked: "My boyfriend cares a lot about me having been to my ex-boyfriend's house before, and he needs me to compensate him." How do I need to make amends? I really don't want to break up, what should I do?"
Heart's Love Counselor answers:
When I saw you say that your boyfriend wants you to compensate him for going to his ex-boyfriend's house, I instantly felt a sense of humor.
I don't know if you feel this way, and if you don't, it could be a red flag that you're emotionally isolated and/or inhibited your judgment to the point where you don't experience and recognize the absurdity of your boyfriend's request.
How your boyfriend cares about how you have been to your ex-boyfriend's house, what kind of person he usually is, and how he wants you to compensate him, this kind of information is incomplete.
Therefore, it is difficult to judge the absurdity of the boyfriend's request.
For example, is he jokingly or seriously making such a request? Personality pathology is usually a little less severe than making such a request in a serious way.
In either case, however, it would be extremely inappropriate to utter such nonsense.
Your boyfriend cares about this kind of thing and wants you to make it up to him, which is naked jealousy, and his psychological functioning is worrying.
He is almost certainly very controlling, as if your relationship experiences need to serve his needs, and that you have made mistakes in your past relationships, so you have to compensate him for it in order to eliminate his hatred.
What baffles me is that, in the face of the current situation, you don't seem to reconsider the need for the relationship to survive, but instead want to make it up to him.
Finally, I suggest that you start by reconsidering your relationship, otherwise it may really outweigh the losses and regret it.
- Teacher Yuan