Hello everyone, I am the family education instructor Guo Ma~
It is a good thing that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good.
However, a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law does not necessarily mean that you can let your mother-in-law help take care of the children.
Sometimes, the child is carried, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are about to become enemies, and it is easy to cause many other problems.
There are 3 kinds of mothers-in-law, which is really not suitable to help bring the baby, mothers, you must remember!
No matter how harmonious the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is, don't let your mother-in-law help take care of the baby in 3 cases, there will be a lot of things in the future
01 Mother-in-law who is not in good health
Relatively speaking, the probability of physical problems in the elderly is relatively higher when they are older.
My friend Xiaoqiu's boss was brought by her mother-in-law, who was quite young and in good health at that time. Later, the eldest was 16 years old, and the second child was added to the family, and the second child was handed over to the mother-in-law, and the process of bringing the baby was not so smooth.
When the second child was 3 years old, he didn't speak much, and when he was in kindergarten, Xiao Qiu was approached by the teacher to talk, saying that the child had some problems with other children's socialization.
Later, I took the second child to the hospital for an examination, and found that the second child did have a little autistic tendency.
And the main factor of the child's autism, in the end, it turned out to be because of Xiaoqiu's mother-in-law.
Xiao Qiu's mother-in-law is old, and her legs and feet are not very good, so she rarely goes downstairs, and she doesn't have much energy to play with her children at home, so the second child spends most of her time staying at home, playing with toys, or watching TV.
All the energy of Xiaoqiu and his wife at that time was focused on their daughter, who was in high school, thinking that her mother-in-law would take care of the second child, so they didn't pay too much attention, but they didn't expect that it caused the child to be autistic.
Tips for bringing a baby
Children's energy is vigorous, they need to play and move;
Children's growth needs the environment, contact with nature, and contact with people.
The elderly at home, even if they are willing to help take care of the baby, but they can't take care of the safety of the child, can't play with the baby, or can't take the child out to play, even if it's to take a walk downstairs in the community, then it is not recommended that the elderly come to help take the baby.
The old man who is not in good health really does not have the energy, and in case he is unwell in the process of taking a baby, which has caused serious consequences, he will regret it when the time comes, I am afraid it will be too late.
The old man comes to help bring the baby, at least he can catch up with the baby, take care of the baby's safety, have the mental strength to accompany the baby to go out for a walk, and ensure his own safety.
02 A mother-in-law with a big heart and no sense of responsibility
Some old people, that heart is really big.
Last time I went to the property of the community to consult a question, I happened to see an old man looking for a baby in a panic.
The general situation is that the property provides a place for the elderly to play mahjong, and one of them has a big heart, and every time he comes to play mahjong, he will bring his 2-year-old grandson.
Playing mahjong by himself, his grandson is in the open space next to the toy brought by the player.
Then suddenly, an old man found that the child was gone, and the child's grandmother said, "It's okay, this child is well-behaved and won't run around." ”
In the end, it was the other grandmothers who were not at ease, so everyone came out together to find the child first.
In the end, the child was found, and it turned out that the child saw a child playing with balloons downstairs upstairs, so he went downstairs by himself.
This journey is still very thrilling, stairs, cars on the road, etc., are very big risk factors for a 2-year-old child.
Fortunately, nothing happened in the end.
But the grandmother didn't seem to think so, and even praised: "Look at how good our grandson is, I can come out and play with my friends!"
Beg to differ.
Tips for bringing a baby
With children, you need to give children a certain amount of space to explore and grow.
However, letting go doesn't mean leaving it alone.
Because for small babies, they are still young, unable to protect themselves, and their awareness of danger is relatively weak, and the probability of danger is very high in the process of complete self-exploration.
Therefore, the elderly with babies must have a sense of responsibility, at least let the children explore under their noses, and ensure the safety of the children is the first priority.
03 强势、听不进他人话的婆婆
When encountering an old man who is strong and does not listen to persuasion, no matter how good the relationship is, it is easy to stiffen because of disagreement.
Pistachio has a classmate, some time ago the children chatted together, classmate Xiao He said: "My mother and grandma quarreled, and grandma was angry and went back to her hometown!"
Later, Xiaohe's mother also talked to us about her helplessness.
In fact, the reason is very simple, that is, what to eat for dinner.
Xiao He's physique is not very good, and she often gets sick after going to kindergarten, Xiao He's mother also took her to see a lot of doctors and drank a lot of traditional Chinese medicine to recuperate, but it has no effect.
Later, a doctor asked Xiao He's diet and said: "Your family eats too much at night, and the child eats so much, it is difficult to digest, easy to accumulate food, and it is easy to get sick." ”
Then Xiaohe's mother asked her mother-in-law to make a light dinner according to the doctor's advice, rice porridge, steamed buns, 1 or 2 vegetarian dishes, and that's it.
Xiaohe's mother thinks that for the sake of the child's health, it is nothing for the family to eat light at night.
But Grandma Xiaohe firmly disagreed, thinking that this was a "quack", and Grandma Xiaohe firmly believed that as long as the child could eat, he would definitely be able to take care of his body!
So, every night I continue to chicken wings, pork ribs, pig's trotters, etc., all of which are big meat.
Then Xiao He's body just got up, and he was sick again, Xiao He's mother couldn't bear it anymore and asked for a light dinner again, which angered Xiao He's grandmother, and directly packed up her things and left, so that Xiao He's mother could do whatever she wanted, and she didn't interfere, so as not to make people suspicious.
Tips for bringing a baby
The old man who is strong and does not listen to persuasion likes to be stubborn in many things with a baby.
If their ideas and practices are right, or if they are harmless, that's fine.
But for the vast majority of the elderly, their way of bringing babies is somewhat not suitable for today's children, after all, the living conditions, environment, individual children, etc., are different.
If the old man does not listen to persuasion, then the child will suffer in the end.
Therefore, there are unreasonable old people in the family, so the mothers should bring it themselves to avoid contradictions and avoid the baby from suffering.
Written at the end of the article
Of course, the purpose of this article is not to say that the elderly are not good with babies.
In life, in fact, there are many elderly people with babies, which are better than mothers with babies.
What Guo's mother wants to say is that the matter of bringing a baby is not a casual pull, the child can grow up, we must pursue the healthy growth of the child, and we also want to pursue the child's good growth.
Therefore, the matter of bringing a baby should be something that the whole family attaches importance to.