Not long ago, an incident happened to my family's "pre-adolescence" bear baby, which made me realize:
Before going to bed that day, my son suddenly said to me, "Mom, I scratched my lip ......"
I wondered, checked carefully, and after learning the truth, I couldn't cry or laugh, and scolded him for being "stupid"! It turned out that some classmates in the class said that the baby's beard was a little black and long, and the cute and stupid son was in love, so he secretly imitated him Lao Tzu to "shave his beard"!!
"You haven't grown a beard at all, you're just going to shave longer and darker and faster!"
I couldn't help but want to "scold" him for waking him up.
The son cried and lost his face:
"What can I do then......
Although I have been reading picture books and telling stories to my children since I was a child, and I have not been able to do sex enlightenment education, this incident has given me a reminder: sex education is not a one-time conversation, but a continuous education. As the child's growth gradually deepens, there are different educational contents according to the different ages of the children.
So, how to educate children who are about to enter adolescence and teach them to respect others and learn to protect themselves?
01
Don't talk to your child about "big truths"
Modern parents are relatively open-minded, and when their children are young, most of them will use picture books and stories to educate their children about sexuality. However, as children grow up, parents will intentionally or unintentionally avoid the topic of sex education, and parents will not mention it if the child does not talk about it.
But in fact, data from a study by the Caesar Family Children's Foundation showed:
90% of teens say they are happy to talk to their parents about topics such as alcohol, drugs, violence, HIV and sexuality, and feel that their parents can give them good advice.
However, the way of communication is debatable, and no teenager likes to listen to their parents talk big about this issue.
The best way is for parents to communicate sexual knowledge and values to their children naturally and easily in their daily lives, and children may be better able to accept them.
Take, for example, the shaving incident.
If my husband can shave himself, he will simultaneously popularize science to his son: Child, when you reach a certain stage of development, you will also have a black beard on your lips, and at that time, you can shave. But now. It's just fluff on your lips.
I think if my stupid boy had heard this earlier, he wouldn't have made a "shaving" joke.
At the same time, parents can also take advantage of a story in the news, or the opportunity of their children to go on a date with classmates, etc., to convey correct sexual information and values to their children.
02
Listen to your child's voice
As parents, in the matter of "education", they are accustomed to the attitude of "top to bottom", and often feel that the responsibility of parents is to tell their children what to do, and the responsibility of children is to carry out the instructions of their parents.
Quite the opposite, in fact. The child is small, this education method is still effective, and the child enters adolescence, which is in vain.
When talking to adolescent children, including sexual topics, communication must be equal, so that there will be a two-way flow.
"You can't XXX" is a statement that almost no adolescent child will listen to.
But parents change the way of communication, such as "What do you think about this?" and "How do your friends talk about this topic?"
Open your child's conversation, hear what they are saying, understand their concerns, and provide them with the help they need.
03
It's not enough to tell the truth
Being ashamed to talk about sex will make some parents do sex education to their children in a different way, such as: quietly stuffing a book about growth and sex education at the child's bedside, hoping that the child will learn the truth by reading the book.
But is indirect knowledge transfer enough?
In his book "From Diapers to Dating", sex education experts mentioned that it is not enough to just tell children what sex is all about.
Debra has come into contact with a lot of adolescent boys and girls because of her work, and the children seem to have an understanding of sex, but they have a thousand strange misunderstandings. For example, some children think that "cola kills sperm", some children think that girls will not get pregnant if they have sexual intercourse standing up, and girls are most likely to conceive if they have sexual intercourse during menstrual leave......
To help children understand the truth, parents need to talk openly and honestly with their children.
04
Find out how much your child is now sexually knowledgeable
A considerable number of parents will think that the school has opened a physiological knowledge class, and the teacher has explained it, which is enough, so why bother talking with the child, but arouse the child's curiosity.
On the contrary, the education that children receive in the classroom can only be a supplement to family education, because this piece of education involves all aspects and has a far-reaching impact on children.
Therefore, as a parent, you should not only understand the relevant knowledge that your child has mastered at the moment, but also do your own homework, such as reading books, finding formal channel resources, asking professionals, etc., so as to be able to provide knowledge and help to your child in a timely manner.
05
Parents need to keep up with modern youth culture
It is one problem that parents are reluctant to talk, and it is another problem that children are reluctant to talk.
As children grow up, communication between parents and children becomes more and more difficult, especially in adolescence, parents cannot understand what their children do, and children cannot accept their parents' stereotyped thinking.
This requires us as parents, even if we don't like the current popular youth culture, we should also understand the cultural trends that our children are passionate about.
Only when parents and children have common topics can they talk openly and honestly with each other.
Then, when it comes to sex education, just go with the flow and talk about it at the right opportunity. Adults are not embarrassed, and children can listen to them, the best of both worlds.
Parents should always be prepared and maintain an open attitude towards education, so that children can learn to respect others and protect themselves during the special adolescence.
I am Nuo Ma, I have a male treasure at home, and I am committed to parent-child growth research and provide valuable parenting dry goods for parents!