With the intensification of the "Handan Juvenile Vicious Incident", there are endless discussions about school bullying and being bullied, as well as whether juvenile crimes should be punished.
As a father, of course, I want the offender to get the punishment he deserves, after all, the purpose of the law is to deter criminals, not to tell criminals that you can commit crimes with impunity. However, it has to be said that under the current legal framework, it is almost impossible to get juvenile offenders to receive a happy punishment.
Therefore, it is particularly important for parents to find out what is wrong with their children in advance, to understand their children's learning in school in advance, and to intervene in advance in violent behaviors that may turn into tragedies.
In fact, if your child often puts these 3 sentences on his lips, you need to pay attention to it, it is very likely that the child is asking for help from mom and dad, otherwise it will be too late to wait until something happens.
"I don't want to go to school anymore"
The first sentence was "I don't want to go to school anymore".
Did you know that when a child says this, there are often more and deeper reasons behind it? This is not just a learning problem, but also a reflection of the parent-child relationship and the child's emotional changes.
- It may be that the child is not interested in the content of school and feels that it is too difficult to keep up, or it may be that the learning task is heavy and the learning pressure is high, and there is some boredom in learning.
If this is the case, parents can't simply blame the child, say something that doesn't hurt and then force the child to go to school. Instead, you should listen carefully to your child's feedback, accept their truest emotions, and then give them more encouragement and help.
If there is a lack of interest in learning content, then combine knowledge learning and entertainment to slowly cultivate their interest. If you find it too difficult to keep up, help your child review what he has learned in time, and strive to finish today's problems today, so as to keep up with the teacher's progress little by little. If there is a lot of pressure to study, you can reduce the pressure on your child in time, and you can also discuss with the teacher about doing less homework.
- It is also possible that the child has encountered problems at school, bullied or isolated by classmates, and what was originally a place of learning has become a place for the child's suffering, and they naturally do not want to go after a long time.
If this is the reason, parents should talk calmly with their children, and communicate with other parents and teachers to understand the most real reasons. Of course, after parents understand the matter, on the one hand, they need to appease the child's emotions, saying that they are the child's last shield, and they will solve any problems for them, so as to give the child enough security;
In short, when children say that they don't want to go to school, they are actually encountering some problems that are difficult for them to solve, and the subtext is to ask for help from their parents.
“算了，反正......”
The second sentence is "Forget it, it's ...... anyway"
It's common to say, forget it, you won't agree anyway, forget it, it's all my fault anyway, forget it, you won't care how much I say anyway, and so on.
On the one hand, they do have some problems that cannot be solved, and they want to tell their parents and seek comfort, understanding and help from their parents, and on the other hand, the results of various previous attempts tell them that their parents are likely to ignore them, or blame themselves for the fault, and it is very likely that they will not get the desired results.
Anyway, the front is a reverse story, and the following is actually what they want to express the most.
When children say these words, it is not that they are rebellious, nor that they want to work against their parents, but more likely that they really have some problems and want to ask their parents for help, but they are afraid of being rejected or harshly criticized.
Mom and Dad, they just need to look at the child directly anyway.
"You won't agree" is to say that Mom and Dad are too strict with themselves and are not allowed to try anything, but I really grow up day by day, have my own thoughts, and really want to do what I can. "It's all my fault anyway" is to say, Mom and Dad, can you think about the problem from my point of view, and don't subconsciously blame the fault on me. "Anyway, you won't care" is to say, Mom and Dad, can you take a serious look at me, I really have a problem that can't be solved, I need your help, etc.
After knowing the meaning of what the child said, we should respond with a positive attitude, and use serious methods to make the child feel a sense of security and trust, and help the child break free from the current predicament.
"Mom, I'm so tired"
The last sentence is "Mom, I'm so tired".
Generally speaking, children do not lie in this regard, and if they often talk about tiredness, they are really tired, or very tired.
And tired, there is learning tiredness, and there is also psychological tiredness.
If you are tired of learning, you can refer to the coping methods of parents when children say they don't want to go to school, help children find the right learning methods, gradually keep up with the progress of school, and cultivate self-confidence to face future learning tasks.
Psychological tiredness may be related to socializing and being bullied.
This is also very understandable, they don't have any good friends at school, and they don't have any partners to play with him during class, or worse, and some classmates are there to bully him, he has no place to confide, so he can only endure all this silently, and after a long time, it's not psychologically exhausting.
If this is the case, parents need to help the child build confidence and learn some necessary social methods, such as taking the initiative to join, such as watching and applauding, such as saying that I will too, etc., and gradually integrate into the group of friends, and also need to help the child understand some basic ways to deal with bullying, such as seeking help from peers, shouting to attract the attention of teachers, and telling parents to let them intervene, etc., so that children will not be helpless when facing similar problems.
At last
In fact, understanding the meaning of what children are talking about seems complicated, but it is actually a parenting attitude.
Raising children is not a 100-meter race, but the slow growth of a small tree, the mantra they hang on their lips is likely to be a signal for help, parents in time to loosen the soil and water, pruning and picking flowers, it seems to slow down the growth of children, but in fact it is to help them get out of trouble, so as to grow up healthier and stronger.
Text: Happy Dad's Diary The picture source is the Internet, if there is any infringement, please delete the private message, thank you~